I have noticed something that disturbs me about some threads

[Guava Jelly]

I feel that some duers feel left out of the fun
Like it's some sort of popularity contest or something.
"Make up something about a duer" and people feel left out because their names are rarely mentioned.
I hate that!!.
We are all basically like minded people here or we wouldn't be here!
But in another sense How can I or we mention things about people we aren't to familiar with?
Everyone was a newbie at one time or another.
I sort of forced my way in and made friends and maybe that what others should do?
Hell i don't know?
I just hate thinking that some people feel left out!

So What can we do about this or what advice do we give those who wish to lets say join the fun?
any suggestions?
:)
And if you feel left out say hello and introduce yourself!!

[Jamastiene]

1. Well, we can point out to them that there

are times when it is just slow. There are times like that. You can watch the latest page sometimes and there are maybe 10 new threads that pop in an hour's time. Then there are times when you just can't keep up with them. So, considering the fact that it seems to run in cycles like that, maybe we can explain it to them.

Also, we can suggest joining in late at night when they find a "Who is awake?" thread. Those are the most inclusive threads I have found yet.

Also, popping in and posting a joke or tow ups the replies and helps make friends. I have done that from time to time. I love making people laugh if I can.

[xmas74]

3. We met in the late night "Who is awake" threads.

I used to start those all the time. Usually when I get mentioned in any threads it's by a late night DUer.

[Guava Jelly]

13. xmas74 and i live probably less then an hour away from each other

And i just in the last month or so talked to her.
I think we will eventually become excellent friends!
As i already enjoy talking to her.
Maybe someday we will actually meet

[xmas74]

20. We need to meet someday!

There is another DUer that is a half hour away that I need to meet someday, along w/ a few of the KC DUers.

If you have yahoo messenger I need to add you!

[Guava Jelly]

29. let me dig that up for you

the yahoo messenger info!
oh fyi
10/1/06...My first day as a missourian!!
:) :woohoo:
I'll pm it in a bit

[xmas74]

32. October 1!

Yippee!

And I'll send you mine in a pm w/ my real first name, in case you get a funny reply somewhere.

[MissHoneychurch]

123. Hey girlfriend

we met at those late night threads as well, remember? :hug:

I miss you

[xmas74]

141. I remember quite well.

And I miss you too!

[MissHoneychurch]

151. I will definitely call you

within the next week. Then we talk :D

[xmas74]

161. Yippee!

[Joe Fields]

70. Don't you live in the K.C. area?

I thought it was you who said the other day that you were moving to Westport.

[Guava Jelly]

134. Thats me

And i plan on attending the flea market Meetups
So I can meet my first duers!

[bicentennial_baby]

105. Hey YOU!

:loveya:

I miss you! and adore you!! :bounce:

[xmas74]

140. I miss and adore you too!

You'll love this: My six year old daughter is playing flag football and beating the little boys at their game!

[bicentennial_baby]

156. Yay!!

That is awesome!! :bounce:

:loveya:

[xmas74]

160. She's scrimmaging tonight.

A few of the little boys are a bit mean and triple up on her. I'm hoping they'll get over it when they do their first game.

[sendero]

2. Come on..

.... message boards a just like high school. Because human nature never really changes :)

[Guava Jelly]

4. I dont believe that!

Like for instance ..Have I talked to you before??
I know nothing about you So how do I know we wouldnt be the greatest of friends?
Tell me about yourself hell pm me if you want.

[sendero]

34. I do..

.. but I don't say so thinking it's a bad thing.

[Joe Fields]

71. My name is Joe Fields. I'm ..........

curmudgeonly, cute, brilliant, sexy and have an extremely vicious sense of humor. And I posted here, because I don't like being at the back of a thread. Just an idiosyncracy of mine.

[bridgit]

100. straight up, holmes...

:thumbsup:

[Fox Mulder]

5. My name is Fox Mulder and I'm a n00b.

:hi:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. Hey Spooky!

:hi:

[Fox Mulder]

12. Grrr...

I don't like Spooky.

:silly:

:hi:

[xmas74]

10. But I know you

so you can't be that new.

We've talked before and I always notice your name on the boards. Question is: Do you look anything like David Duchovny?

[Fox Mulder]

15. Heh.

I look nothing like him. If I did, I'd be on tv right now. ;)

And btw, I'm noticed here on the DU??? :o I'm touched! Seriously! :)

[xmas74]

23. I noticed you because of your name.

I'm a big fan and have been involved in a few of the X Files arguments on the boards.

[Fox Mulder]

25. It's a good name.

Best. TV Character. Ever.

[xmas74]

26. One of the best.

Best character ever has to be The Doctor from Doctor Who. Look how long the show's lasted!

(on edit: have to add Dale Cooper. Same category as Mulder and a fantastic character in general.)

[NMMNG]

110. Yeah, you were a n00b like a year ago

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. I hear you, my dear GoPsUx!

It is a problem, and one that I don't have any easy answers for.......

I felt new and shy at the start too......not for long, though!

I suspect the best tactic is for everyone to welcome the newbies, and try to include them .........

As much as possible, anyhow......:shrug:

Good for you for bringing this up, sweetie! :hug:

[tinfoil tiaras]

8. I'm in total agreement w/ you there, GoPsUx

I think we should make all the newbies feel more welcome here. Hell, I've been on here a year and I almost NEVER get mentioned in those "Name a DUer who.." threads. I don't like those and I agree w/ you that they're kinda like popularity contests.

And, to all newbies and others who don't know me...

I'M TINFOIL TIARAS AND MY FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD ARE DU, R.E.M. and BUBBLE GUM!

[Guava Jelly]

43. Thank you tinfoil t

I think you are pretty dang cool!

[tinfoil tiaras]

55. Aw, thanks!

:hug:

Right back at cha! :D

[GalleryGod]

9. DUJHS, my friend. Getting near time to pick the tables in the caf

for this semester.:rofl:

It's ALWAYS been a popularity-driven joint. Delve in to our checkered past.:woohoo:

[qnr]

44. Isn't that the truth. And it's hilarious how people get all upset when

someone mentions it.

What? Popularity Contest? Perish the thought!
Cliques? In the Lounge? You're out of your mind!

[GalleryGod]

158. Dead Solid Perfect, QNR.

I know I'm fortunate that I don't have a Cube Farm I must toil in every day, that I like my colleagues and every fall and spring there are 15-22 new faces in three classes that I attempt to educate.
I LOVE my real world...thus, DU is an Amusement Park after dark I wander in to, and after reading some astounding posts, I thank god I made the choices I have.

[greatauntoftriplets]

11. That's the way it's been since I joined five years ago.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

[Guava Jelly]

16. Well let me say that if i ever made you feel that way i am sorry

:)

[greatauntoftriplets]

49. Not you...

just generally.

[Deja Q]

14. Those are just popularity contests.

Nothing important.

What's to be worried about are those who don't "fit in" at gatherings.

Let's have a national DU gathering and see where people go. :) You can guess where I'd be... :D

[tinfoil tiaras]

17. We should SO have a national gathering

That would be so awesome!! Like during spring break...:D

[Deja Q]

31. Prefarably in Chicago...

In the Hyatt Regency O'Hare hotel...

[tinfoil tiaras]

36. Chicago's not so bad..

Could fly to Atlanta and then to there. Lots of stuff to do.

Me likey... :D

[Guava Jelly]

19. oh you are one of the cool ones arent you

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
:hi:

[Deja Q]

24. I'm really not.

Many posts get 0 responses (which is hardly unfair; that happens to everyone) and, amongst other things, nobody wants to make a viscious lie about me. :rofl: Best of all, the flirting is never serious - which is a bit of a shame once you think about it...

Everybody is popular. Some are more popular than others.

I just wish the flirting wasn't faux.

[hedgehog]

33. Which is worse, making a post that no one answers or

killing a thread?

[qnr]

81. Making a post that no one answers, because you're also killing that thread

:hi:

[NMMNG]

111. Oh yeah?

Well I happen to know that you had a torrid 3-way affair with California Peggy and Kashka. I know I promised not to tell but your last hush money check bounced.

[graywarrior]

18. I made a career out of being left out on DU

[Guava Jelly]

21. But you are such a cool lady!!

I have posted in your threads many times :)

[graywarrior]

50. Yes, I consider you a homie.

[Fox Mulder]

22. So have I.

:(

[graywarrior]

51. Another homie.

I have a few here.

[xmas74]

56. We've posted back and forth a few times.

I sometimes miss posts from others because I log in and out frequently.

[book lady]

27. Hello GoPsUx

I don't feel left out but I sometimes feel like I am a thread killer. I do not post much as you can see by my numbers, but I do enjoy reading the threads.
As to the thread killing, perhaps I do not phrase my responses that lead to continuation...or perhaps, I am just a boring individual. :boring:

[Guava Jelly]

38. Hello Book Lady

My threads often die quickly.
I also get a lot of crap be cause I spell and type like crap.
But hell I don't care!
If i cared I wouldnt have made the friends here that I have made!

[book lady]

45. Thanks for saying hello

You just made my day....god, now I sound pathetic :-)

[spacelady]

75. Hey book lady!

We share a part of a name. I am a fairly newbie, yet this is a very nice group of strangers who have somehow, strangely & graciously have always made me feel welcome. Doesn't mean my posts always get a resounding response, but when the chips fall badly, I feel in my heart they will respond with ALL their heart. I've seen it happen. That't what friends do, Welcome, Friend!

[book lady]

145. Hi spacelady

I agree, this is a great and diverse group of people.
Take care, Friend :-)

[RetroLounge]

28. We need to encourage more people to post

in the photo threads...

That was the start of me feeling included...

RL

[Guava Jelly]

35. I agree..When you see the face behind the name

it helps humanize the person posting.

[RetroLounge]

54. Exactly.

:hi:

RL

[insane_cratic_gal]

101. I did and only one person said boo

lol but she was great and very sweet. Thank you KC2!

Nothing gives you a bigger complex then being vulnerable showing yourself and then hearing crickets!

[Nicole]

30. I can understand why people feel that way

If you don't think it's a popularity contest here, do a search for "appreciation" threads. I have never posted in one of those. Not that I don't appreciate those being mentioned, I just don't want to make others feel unappreciated if they're never the subject of such a thread.

Look at the number of replies to newbies vs. oldies, newbies have a harder time getting replies to their posts. It does happen, it's just the nature of the 'net. I don't notice it as much in the other forums but it is clear here in the lounge.


That said, it doesn't bother me. I've been here longer than most of you who have posted so far, yet I probably have the least amount of posts. It's just not that important to me to feel popular around here. :shrug:

[texas1928]

37. I hit 10000 and I am still treated like an outsider.

it is kind of depressing.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

40. My dear tex!

I love ya, you know!

And, I'm not seeing you post as much as you did last year.........

Are you busy with work?

And how's your beautiful new car?

Is your work place still haunted?

:hug:

[texas1928]

47. I get busy, but just have not posted that much cause there is not much...

to say.

The car is fine.

The ghost at work is pretty quiet. We have not had much activity. He may have left due to the sale.

[Guava Jelly]

41. I think sometimes it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease

I think what helped me and i have 1/2 your post is that I started a butt load of picture threads.
People love to show their pictures.
Hell I love to see them!!
Now people know me sort of. And feel free to talk to me more.
Plus i am a nut
:)

[texas1928]

46. I have posted in pic threads

I have posted pic threads. Most get 300 or more replies. Mine, maybe 20. If I post a pic no one responds to it. I guess I do not look liberal enough.

[qnr]

53. Yeah, there is a whole subsection of DU that apparently fit into that

category. Heck, even pictures of my pets generally get ignored while people oooo and ahhh over all the others :shrug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

79. Texas, I remember when you posted that game where you make drinks.

"The Right Mix," or something of that sort. I think it was back in December '05.

Anyhow, I laughed hysterically all through the thread, and I've actually reposted the game a few times; it was all so funny. I still have the original thread bookmarked.

Just thought you might want to know that you have done MANY good things, and that is just one I can remember! :pals:

[texas1928]

88. That was a fun game.

I have not played in awhile.

[Kixel]

92. What's the game?

I am curious!

Oh, and I don't usually post-I'm a lurker at heart I guess. I don't have enough time to build serious relationships on here, but you folks keep me entertained and informed. What more could I ask for?

[texas1928]

159. Here it is.

http://www.liquidlight.co.uk/our_work/rightmix.php

[hedgehog]

39. I have to admit that I'm usually skimming an entire thread and

don't usually notice who is doing the posting unless there's an argument or someone has a distinctive avatar!

[Bassic]

42. Well, I'm not a newbie, and I don't get mentionned,

but I don't mind man. On Maslow's (is that how it is spelled) pyramid, step number 3 is not a problem for me.

[hyphenate]

48. I tend to think that people naturally gravitate

toward others with things in common. Most newbies will tentatively take a step toward those with whom they have something in common, and eventually the stigma of being new is gone.

I think those who hang out primarily in the lounge have become familiar with who hangs out with who, and will often form their own cliques with people with the same tastes. Some of us just come into the lounge on an intermittent basis so we haven't formed close ties like others. I don't mind personalized threads because I don't expect to be part of them. If I'm mentioned, it's cool, but hardly essential.

Hopefully, there aren't too many people here who have such thin skins that it bothers them. If there are, they just need to resolve to get involved and not be too gun-shy about whatever comes along.

[TK421]

52. How about a naughty picture thread? Oh, no...wait, that would get locked

nevermind, then....:hide:

[qnr]

78. I have this mental image of a picture ringing doorbells and running away

to hide...

[FedUpWithIt All]

57. Hi all, name's FedUpWithIt All...

I am a 33 yr old female from NEOhio. (34 next mo. :O)

I have three daughters. 7, 9 and 13

I love to write, paint and garden.

My dream is to one day own a small self sustaining farm.

I hate bushco. with every fiber of my being.

I love the people i have met here so far.

I have killed a preposterous number of threads considering the amount of posts i have written, but i don't take it to heart. I tell myself it is because what i had to offer was so profound that no words could follow. :sarcasm: :rofl:

One thing i have noticed...those people who seem to be considered "popular" have also been very warm and welcoming. I am sure this is not the rule, but it has been my experience. Maybe there is something to it.

Thank you to everyone who offered me welcome and friendship. It means a lot. I cannot wait to meet more fine DU folk.

[Nicole]

59. Welcome

:hi:

[FedUpWithIt All]

61. Thank you, Nicole...

:hi:

[qnr]

62. Hi FedUpWithIt All ... Welcome to DU n/t

[FedUpWithIt All]

67. Hello, qnr. Thank you for the welcome...

:hi:

[cobalt1999]

63. Hi. You've got good ages for daughters.

Mine are 8 & 11. I tell my wife it's the perfect age. Too old for diapers; Too young for boyfriends!

[FedUpWithIt All]

72. It is tolerable for now...

in a few years...OMG!!!!

8 and 11...it is nice when they are close in age. AFTER the diaper, car seat and crying stages of course

My younger daughters are 19 mos apart. They are close. Don't get me wrong, close just means they know EXACTLY which buttons to push with each other. LOL

My oldest has found that boys are not all repulsive. She starts high school tomorrow. I was just fine with it, until a thought occurred to me. She will be in the same building with 17 and 18 yr old boys (without me standing around making threatening faces). :wow:

[u4ic]

64. Welcome!

and thanks for the introduction:hi:

[FedUpWithIt All]

73. Hi, u4ic...

:hi:

Thank you and your welcome. :7

[txwhitedove]

74. Welcome to DU, FUWIA! That's a great introduction.

[FedUpWithIt All]

76. LOL Thank you txwhitedove...

:hi:

I like to think of rambling as an art form. :7

[WritingIsMyReligion]

82. Welcome!

Name's WritingIsMyReligion, as you can see, but all just call me WIMR.

My signature gives the spiel on me. ;)

I'm so sorry that I haven't seen you around before; I usually try to post a "welcome!" to a DUer I see with a low post count.

Have fun!

[FedUpWithIt All]

87. Hello, WIMR,

:hi:

I read your poem earlier. Very nice. :)

Great name, btw.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

91. Thank you, on both counts.

:hi:

[Arkham House]

93. Hi--welcome to DU...

...the people here are generally Good People...I've had plenty of welcoming, and laughs, and occasional challenges to my sanity. But coming here really makes you realize something about the bouyancy and elasticity of this country and its people...and it's a major factor why I remain optimistic... You must be thrilled, to have three girls--it must be wonderful to be a parent. Never quite worked out for me. Also: I envy you the fact that you live in a part of the country where owning a small farm is still a possible dream. Here in CT, it's literally impossible to imagine it anymore--just too crowded, too built-up, too much of everything...hope it happens for you...

[FedUpWithIt All]

102. Hello Arkham House...

:hi:

Thank you for the wonderful welcome.

I do hope things turn back around in this country. There is so much good here, it has just been a little dim lately. I struggle to keep up hope sometimes, then i read something or see something that warms my heart and i am ready to move forward again. :D

I am glad to be here with so many like minded people. It really does help.

[Control-Z]

103. Is it really that bad in CT?

That is where I was born.:hi: We lived on a farm in Coventry when I was a little girl. I still have lots of family there but I don't visit often.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

133. A lot of it is really built up.

My stepdad has a cabin in Stonington (between Mystic & RI) though on about 5 acres of land. It's on a dirt road. There's houses around, but it's not really built up. We're on a little cove with a winery at the end of it. I love it there, but most of CT is really built up and the traffic is terrible. From north NJ, it takes me from 2h15m to over 4 hours to get to Stonington. I'll usually hit no traffic in NJ & NY, then I cross the CT border and *boom* traffic.

[Control-Z]

167. Sounds so different

from the Ct I remember. My uncle still has part of the original family farm - quite a few acres, I think. It is really beautiful there.

[NMMNG]

113. Welcome to DU and the Lounge FedUpWithItAll!

[FedUpWithIt All]

135. Thanks BTFS...

:hi:

Looks like a party and look...i found this nifty :party: hat. I'll bring :beer:. :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[Guava Jelly]

137. Sorry I didn't welcome you last night

I type slow and crappy and sometimes miss the hello's
I see others stepped forward.
Arent they great!

[FedUpWithIt All]

143. Yes, everyone here has been great....

You sir, welcomed me in the picture thread. So no sorry allowed. ;-)

I have really enjoyed hanging out on this board. I have met some incredible people so far.

[TOhioLiberal]

58. I feel left out.

...I told a DU'er once that I'm a nobody. I don't get threads named after me. I don't get mentioned in 'Who's your Favorite DU'er' threads. If I left I doubt if most people would even notice. Hell, I even missed my DU anniversary.:shrug:

Geez now I'm all depressed. :cry:

[Guava Jelly]

65. I recall talking to you on more then one occasion

And believe it or not I get left out of alot of them also.
Even some i start.
I just became friends with people that like to talk to me for what ever reason.
I think in a way it all depends on who you sort of bond with!

[TOhioLiberal]

69. I like talking to you.

You seem like a cool dude.

[u4ic]

80. Awww...

:hug:

I remember how difficult it was to break into the Lounge. I recognize your name, but haven't had the pleasure to meet you.

Howdy, TOhioLiberal. :D :hi:

[TOhioLiberal]

138. Hi u4ic...

...nice to meet you too. :hi:

[cobalt1999]

60. I haven't been around long,

I don't get mentioned in those threads, but I really wouldn't expect to be either, nor does it bother me in the least.

Like you said "How can I or we mention things about people we aren't to familiar with?". Even if someone remembered me, what would they make up? Ummm, Cobalt is a ...um...well...

Besides, I'd have to check in here a lot more often to see what you folks are saying about me. I may be new, but I've already learned enough about some of you not to want to leave my reputation undefended. :)

[BikeWriter]

66. My name is BikeWriter and I am a new guy... Well, not new but...

I've been working on my forums a couple of months and have been AWOL.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

83. BikeWriter! So good to see you again!

It's been awhile!

Still writing? ;)

:hi:

[BikeWriter]

94. Hello, Sweety! Oh, I do some editing now and then, not too much.

[Guava Jelly]

68. Goodnight everyone

I am off to bed
Hope to see everyone on the boards
:)

[FedUpWithIt All]

77. Sleep well, GoPsUx. n/t

[RedCappedBandit]

84. Hi, i'm Eric and I am a DU-aholic

[LadyoftheRabbits]

85. Aren't we all?

:P :hi:

[u4ic]

96. Do you think

we need a DU-aholic forum? ;-)

[Kickoutthejams23]

86. Well thats nice

Hi I'm a new kid. Spent alot of time hanging around reading before I took the posting plunge. I try to be laid back and friendly. But like everyone I've got those things that make me see red (starting with shrub)

:hi:

Ask me anything and I will answer tomorrow cause I'm actually going to be before midnight for the first time in weeks.

[u4ic]

95. Hi Kickoutthejams!

:hi:

[khashka]

89. I've talked about this with other DUers

We do tend to form our own little groups. Perfectly natural, but some people feel left out. Sad but true.

So here's some advice:

1. Start a thread that will have everyone talking for weeks. A sure fire winner, but difficult.

2. Even if you can't think of something original and mind-blowing to say... compliment another person's post. Just say I agree or I wish I'd said that. Works every time. People love to be appreciated. And they'll really like you.

4. Start an argument. This one is tricky. But if you can pull it off, even if everyone is offended, they'll know your name and read your posts. You can always be nice later.

5. Keep trying. It's never easy to make your way in an established community. Sometimes it just takes perseverance. I was here for two years before I posted in the Lounge. It was scary. Everyone knew each other and I was the outsider. But when I did get up the guts to post I found many people were happy to see me. So will you.

6. What NewYawkker (mispelled!) always says - say "Hi!" It can make someone feel welcome - just a simple "Hello! Nice to meet you!" can earn you a life-long friend. And everyone benefits.

Khash.

[ScreamingMeemie]

90. Might I suggest moderating. I was what some would call personna

non grata until I moderated. Then, when I joined the regular population, I made more friends. Be yourself, don't worry about...and realize, for the most part, it's a message board. And some people were born to be nice, and some were born to be jerks. Simple as that. In the end, don't lose too much sleep over it. :hi:

[insane_cratic_gal]

97. I felt that way the other day

I just assumed I was a thread killer, or a leper. But I think it's great that you noticed! Very thoughtful.

I still think everyone is great, considering how nice you are to one another, you can't be bad with all of the support you offer to each other.

I frequent between GD, Photography group and recently into here, I lurked but seldom posted.

So heres to new friendships! May they be lasting and plenty!:toast:

[Haole Girl]

98. Are you voting me off the island now?

:scared:

[NMMNG]

116. You mean you were on the island to begin with?

;-) :hug:

[Haole Girl]

118. I was the one who asked why I'm never on any list...

...fun list, that is! I didn't mean to start anything.

[NMMNG]

119. Just kidding with you

:pals:

[Haole Girl]

120. I know!

I think the whole thing is funny...really! :pals:

[Syncronaut Seven]

99. I've been coming in here to sweep up at night for 20 years.

And you don't know my name?

Actually, it's simpler. I only have two people on ignore after nearly 4 years. Both of them are aparently on this thread.

Any other questions? :rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

136. Never seen your name

Sure wish I did !
by your post you seam like a hilarious person

[bicentennial_baby]

104. My thoughts....

you're only as left out as you want to be...Make yourselves part of the community! Don't be overly needy, don't be a whiner...Just be you, and people will see that shine through, regardless. :)

[bridgit]

108. thanks pal...

:pals:

[bicentennial_baby]

109. I ADORE you!

you! yes, you! :bounce:

you're my DU hero...the mysterious and wise bridgit!! :loveya:

[LuckyTheDog]

106. Hi, I'm LuckyTheDog

Pleased to meet you.

[bridgit]

107. i do not mean to be indelicate but 'you got an issue here's a tissue'...

or...'get tough creme puff' :rofl: when i 1st started posting here i was thrown into a deep hole along with shards of broken glass by a spooky little coven because i had the audacity to say/post, "nope..." when someone was asking a specific group of others, and only them, where so & so was, or if anyone had seen them...my thought?

a http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=send_mesg&u_id=139135 would have sufficed quite nicely but no...

it is made less than clear on an otherwise 'public' board such as this one that people do in fact seek 'private' response mechanisms...publically, and there is likely nothing wrong with that...perhaps likely; while if & when it hurts (you know, 1 is the loneliest number and all that goo), it can be thought of as the cool kids 'persuading' the un-cool kids into a trash can, head first, while others who may never speak up (or are afraid of getting stuffed themselves) just sit there...oh well

there was a guy sometime ago, never been back, an elderly poster that mused out loud to me of all people here on the board, why this community of so-called progressive thought is so myopic & juvenile in the image it projects to the rest of the w.w.w.

good question :dilemma:

i therefore resist:

picture threads

official (fill in the blank) appreciation threads

so & so rocks threads (the implication being that some 90,000 others don't :spray:)

or other such threads designed to actively separate one strata of people from another (even though if not in spite of the fact that we are clearly stratified as a group; economically, socially, professionally, politically, personally, the whole nine, etc), as i find them counter productive, and potentially hurtful to others...but that's just me :hi:

[bicentennial_baby]

112. yet again....

:yourock:....no offense, of course.. :D

"an elderly poster that mused out loud to me of all people here on the board, why this community of so-called progressive thought is so myopic & juvenile in the image it projects to the rest of the w.w.w.:

:applause: :bounce: :applause:

[bridgit]

115. YOU! It's YOU!!

:bounce: :loveya: :bounce: :loveya: :bounce: :loveya: :bounce: :loveya: :bounce: :loveya: :headbang: :hi:....:loveya:

[bicentennial_baby]

117. No, no no! C'est vous!!!

You rock my world Bridgit...most indeedy :D :bounce: :D :bounce:

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya:

[Guava Jelly]

126. My first post in the lounge I did have an issue..And i did need a

tissue but more important then that I needed a friend!
For reasons i pounded into the dirt here for months.I am sure you even got tired of reading my sob story.
And it will be a year sept 25th!
I think alot of people here Want to get involved and have more fun but may get discouraged when no one responds
or their post drop faster then W's aprovel ratings.
I post in any thread I find interesting picture, quiz etc..
Sure i get hammered for my shitty grammer and crappy typing but i don't care.
I talk to people here every day that put a smile on my face.
And i try to do the same.
I apologize if this thread rubbed you wrong.

[bridgit]

146. "any suggestions?", i respond; along with my little tale of piteous woe...

and a real life cyber story...and now it is incumbent upon me to accept your apology :shrug: within like three (3) posts? stunning, look...my opinion here...

Democratic Underground again imo is not Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band; nor MySpace.com, nor Match.com, nor 'counter-punch america's best political news letter (or so it is said)', nor The Cousteau Society, nor for that matter The Hemlock Society...it is Democratic Underground

it is in my further opinion that others yet again will; or are to come here and seek their own level as does the truth & surety of rainwater itself, settle in, take a look around, and try to get happy if that is the goal; cause the world-wide-world seems to be going through a shit spasm while choking on a gag full of buttermilk

i post at two other sites, but they are career & union/trade based and simply do not conduct themselves as many do here. they are more straight forward & by extension far more straight-laced, so you will not see allot of vicarious 'show me your hoo-hoo' threads (which feeding back into my previous thought are hurtful to they with self esteem issues, yes; i mean some of this is just common sense).

so i come here to be ignored properly, and contemporaneously, within very recent memory indeed by a handful of people that are thought of themselves as progressive but are really, in my final opinion on this subject, mere elitists in the clothing of whatever 'peace' suits the moment

[Guava Jelly]

147. We do goof of a lot in the lounge

I am as guilty as anyone.
Probably more guilty actually.
I really do try not to offend.
I posted a poorly label thread and misspelled vicious and I noted a few post people wrote about no one makes up stuff about them.I felt guilty and sort of reflected on that.
I am not the most outgoing guy in real life and I do get carried away here I'll admit.
I just tried to put myself into the place of a duer that no body knows and wants to be known in this sometimes Silly virtual community.
I am really not trying to start anything with you
And maybe I didn't need to apologize.
I was just trying to be a nice guy
:)

[bridgit]

148. eh, you're doing fine...

:-)

[Misunderestimator]

157. ...

:thumbsup:

[bridgit]

166. ...

:hi:

[LSK]

114. I agree with you about those kinda threads

They are too exclusive and even if some folks mean well, there are bound to be people left out.

And I dont see the point in them.

[Porcupine]

121. All social outlets are junior high. Just my $ .02 n/t

.

[MikeH]

122. A little about myself

I will sort of introduce myself here, even though I have been posting here since 2002, and am not a newbie any more.

Hi.:hi:

I am by nature not a gregarious or outgoing person, and am not good at or given to small talk or banter. This is true both in real life and here on this board. Often when I am with a group of people I am one of the least talkative in the group. However I try to make a point of saying something when I have something to say. You can probably tell these things about me by looking at my posts and my low post count.

At age 55, through a lot of therapy over the years, and some life experiences, I have come to accepting myself. I had a lot of trouble accepting myself when I was younger, particularly in high school.

You can tell a lot about me by looking at my journal; you can see what I think and how I feel about some things, and what things are important to me. I share some personal things about myself in some of my posts. I like having this new feature in DU.

Many of my posts in the last several months have been in the Religion/Theology forum. I am a former Christian, no longer one but not an atheist. I would now consider myself closest to being a Deist. I say more about this, and how this came to be, in many of my posts in my journal. One of my pet peeves is an authoritarian fundamentalist approach to the Bible or to religion in general, or to life. Of course I particularly despise the Religious Right.

I have a liking for puns; I have a few in my journal. I had a grandfather who told a lot of very bad puns, and I inherited from him a propensity for puns.

I have met a few DUer's at gatherings here in Southern California. In particular I have had the pleasure of meeting nothingshocksmeanymore, who is among the better known DUer's and one of the most frequent posters.

So again, hi to everybody.:hi:

[insane_cratic_gal]

125. See if I met you in person

I'd totally single you out. I don't know why but I always go after the quiet one, not in a mean way but to get them to engage!. I often find the quiet ones are usually the most profound thinkers, but are too reserved to speak up.

[MikeH]

163. Thanks very much!

Thanks very much for your kind words, insane_cratic_gal.:-)

Being on the shy side, and not good at banter or small talk, I appreciate anybody wanting to hear what I think and what I have to say. It usually takes me time to warm up and get into a conversation.

[MissHoneychurch]

124. I barely post in those threads

as I know I can't name all DUers I am friend with and who are important to me. In most of them I barely got mentioned myself. Only since I am ... ahem ... posted a certain picture I seem to be known better in the Lounge. If that is good or bad I don't know :) But of course I made a lot of friends over the time I am here and now I get mentioned now and then. I am happy when I see my name in those threads but I don't cry if I don't see it. I know who are my friends with or without those threads.

:hi:

[Guava Jelly]

127. We started talking a few days before THAT picture

I thought you were nice interesting and fun! before that
And when i found out what a great sense of humor you have.
And how fun you are to terrorize..You floated to the top of my buddy's

I guess what i am saying is sometimes it just takes a few conversations to become good friends.
And other times it takes a little longer :)

[MissHoneychurch]

128. Sometimes it takes a bit longer

but that doesn't mean it never happens :)

[Guava Jelly]

129. You are so right MissH.

I think i talk to you almost everyday now.
But for 9-10 months I never said anything to you.
good morning by the way
:hi:

[MissHoneychurch]

130. Well I didn't talk to you either

so it is all fair and OK :)

Good morning :hi:

[Guava Jelly]

131. makes it all the more sweeter

when we did start talking.

Well off to first job now.
I will talk to you there if you are still on line
:)

[MissHoneychurch]

132. I will be online

:)

[buddhamama]

139. DU is a big place

and our numbers keep growing. i think it is important to keep this in mind. there's no possible way to be known to everyone or be 'friends' with them for that matter. And the Lounge is a small part of DU. There are members who rarely if ever post in here.
I remember DU before the Lounge existed; the music, book, Milestone threads were posted in GD. To quote ulysses "I am a GD baby".
The majority of my posts are from GD or GD: Politics. There are members in the Lounge I haven't had the pleasure of interacting with in the other forums or they me, so it understandable if we do not 'know' one another.

A couple of yrs back I received a PM from a DUer in response to a thread in GD regarding Equality and Gay Rights.
I do not know exactly what is was i said in the thread that touched this person as deeply as it did, but nevertheless, they felt compelled to write me and let me know. At the time of receiving the PM I could not recall the moniker or ever having seen one of their posts. It turned out they had been a member of DU since its very first day but didn't post much, mostly lurked. I felt honored they would write me and their PM meant/means more to me than any 'popularity' i may or may not have here in the Lounge or DU in general.

To reiterate, DU is a big place and an Internet community. Don't feel left out, or ignored. And keep in mind always that there are more people out there reading your words, taking notice, than there are those who actually post.



edited:stupid smilie

[LynneSin]

142. Perhaps we shouldn't start these threads

or ask people to do it about themselves

[Katina]

149. except they are fun for those involved.

I don't have a problem with that.
I don't think any of those threads are done with malice or with the intention of leaving anyone out. I think that when they are started, it's probably due to something special that the person listed has done for the thread starter..and isn't it nice to know that there are people in the cyberworld who aren't total phonies and really do care about the people with whom they post. just my 2 cents.

[MissMillie]

144. It used to bother me, but now

I just remind myself that while I may not be the most popular, there are those here who love me. As long as I am loved, I need not be popular.

[1gobluedem]

150. My threads sink like lead

And I had a funny one today too....:shrug:

[progmom]

153. i missed that

gotta go search for it.

and you should check out this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x2000012

[1gobluedem]

155. That article was great

It should be reprinted in every daily in the country and made mandatory reading in every Sunday School class. How sad that it won't be.

[Puglover]

152. My personal favorite is to finally work up enough

courage to post in a picture thread and then.................the thread dies. Right there. No comments, nothing, zilch.

Ouch.

[Evoman]

170. Lol

I've gotten worse...I'm not ugly, but whenever I post my pic, the people above me and below me get, "you are so beautiful" or "OMG, you are so hot, I love your nose, etc" and I get nothing lol.

[I Have A Dream]

154. Wow! This post really makes me respect you, GoPsUx.

I love people who can feel empathy.

:)

[Burma Jones]

162. Funny......

I posted in a "say something nice about the previous poster" thread and I even got ignored in that one.....

[I Have A Dream]

164. I would have said that I think that your children are...

precious. :)

[Kajsa]

165. This is a great thread, GoPsUx.

Lots of people feel left out at times.

It's threads like this that makes everyone feel welcome.

Thanks.

:hi:

[Evoman]

168. Don't feel too bad....its just how it is.

The funniest thing is that I kind of realize there are cliques on DU, but I don't spend enough time in the lounge to actually know who is who. I'm guessing that you feel like your popular, and you probably are, but I don't really know who you are (don't feel bad, I'm just being honest). The names I know frequent other forums...every now and then I recognize names here or in GD, but not very often. Spend enough time in any one forum, and people will eventually know who you are. Newbies can't help but be newbies.

I think people may recognize me in other forums, but in this one I always feel like a complete stranger. And I'm okay with that.

[HEyHEY]

169. Don't be a pussy, dude.

[leeroysphitz]

171. It IS a popularity contest silly! Where do you think you are?

GD?

[astral]

172. I find this very interesting

I never thought about whether I would become 'popular' here or if people feel left out. I am coming more often lately just because I find it relaxing to read these random topics posted by 'millions' of people. I'm not a real frequent poster and not that good at noticing who is saying what, therefore I may get to know familiar names here but not notice their personalities. . . on a board this size I feel like I can come here and get lost in the city.

But that may change, with time.

Great thread.