I was just given a copy of the Paris Hilton CD. What should I do with it?

[progmom]

I'm forcing myself to listen to it, but I do have masochistic tendencies. Right now she's whispering "Scott Storch y'all" and suggesting that it would make us happy if she were to undress. Oh - and she's hot to death and so-so-so sexy and all the boys wanna fi-i-ight over her. :eyes:

So what should I do with it once I'm done torturing my ears?

[LynneSin]

1. Send it to Sundog C.O.D.

:evilgrin:

CDs make nice coasters

[progmom]

2. you're more evil than *I* am!!

:rofl:

[KamaAina]

3. Put it in a boombox, take it down to repuke headquarters,

and fire it up full blast! This is known as the "Noriega treatment". :-)

[progmom]

5. but they might like it

just shallow and self-centered enough... :shrug:

[dolo amber]

4. Run over w/Jeep, buy a big round piece of styrofoam...

Shiny Disco Ball! :bounce:

[sundog]

50. drugs, rock & roll, bad ass vegas hoes, late night booty calls,

shiny disco balls

[dolo amber]

51. I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!!

:loveya: :loveya: :bounce: :bounce: :loveya: :loveya:

[sundog]

53. ...

:D

:hug:

[dolo amber]

56. When that came out and everyone lost their minds over it

I asked my Scottish friend one day "Hey, do you have Shiny Disco Balls?" (meaning had he found it to download yet...) He pauses, says..."No, but I think I'd quite like to!"

:rofl:

[Misunderestimator]

6. Just don't bring it home.

:scared:

[progmom]

28. bring it home you say?

Sure! There's a DVD packaged with it too! We can watch The Making Of The Album with Behind The Scenes Footage and An Interview With Paris! :bounce:

[Misunderestimator]

30. aaaaaaaagggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

:cry:

[tigereye]

58. yeah, then you'll have to get out your hiri-kiri blades....

:scared:

just pitch it out the window, I say, and wait for a big truck to run over it.

[sarge43]

7. Something in the arts and crafts field

Part of a mobile, a plant hanger, body armour costume for Halloween, a big ass broach

[progmom]

25. oooh - i can use it for progspawn's knight costume!

:thumbsup:

[sarge43]

59. Creative recycling

More than you could possibly want to know about plate armour: Besegew, a circular plate protecting the armpit, placed on the right side if there's only one.

[Radical Activist]

8. Play it real loud outside white house offices

It can be a torture device like they did to noriega.

[MrCoffee]

9. Hit repeat and crank it, baby.

[progmom]

10. I'm on track 9 now

This one isn't as bad. They're sampling Animotion's "You're My Obsession". And she's not talking about how sexy she thinks she is.

[ChickMagic]

11. Two suggestions

Microwave it - the arcs are awesome.

OR, it would make a great "clay" pigeon for skeet shooting.

[Left Is Write]

12. Listen to it carefully and give us a detailed, line-by-line review.

[progmom]

19. "sorry i turned you on..."

"take a cold shower when you get home
uh uh uh uh uh aaaaaaaah"

wow. the music itself is decent - good producers can make all the difference. but her voice! AAUGH. and those LYRICS!!! :puke:

[Initech]

13. Use it for target practice.

I actually did hear some tracks off it while browsing at my favorite record store the other day, it's pretty horrible!

[Phillycat]

14. Does she really whisper "Scott Storch, y'all"?

And is there a less sexy word than "Storch" in the English language?

I mean, besides "Bush".

[progmom]

18. it starts off the record

it made me laugh out loud. :rofl:

[RebelOne]

15. It'll make a good coaster. That's what I use all those AOL discs for.

[bridgit]

16. mix your favorite little drinky poo & use it as a coaster...

:thumbsup:

[progmom]

17. "girls and boys are looking at me

i can't blame them
cuz i'm sexy
ow!"

:eyes:

[begin_within]

22. That's hot

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

20. There are some otherwise-appropriate uses you will have to rule out.

It's too smooth and hard to use as toilet paper or chopped up for cat box litter or bird cage liner. But CDs can make fair coasters, but you want to turn it upside down to hide the label. It may be too flimsy to use for skeet-shooting, but if it isn't too windy that might be a possibility. And the shiny side could be used as a signalling mirror if you ever get lost in the desert. Beyond that, there aren't many good uses. Whatever you do, don't listen to it any more than necessary because it will kill brain cells.

[progmom]

21. she's singing "Do You Think I'm Sexy" now

Oh wait - I should have put "singing" in quotation marks.

She sounds like a cartoon character.

[Radical Activist]

23. question

Is it an attempt at a dance hip-hop album? Does she try to sound ghetto? Because, really, nothing is more believable that a blonde white billionaire heiress trying to sound like she's from the hood.

[progmom]

24. no - not ghetto

Very much aimed at the dance crowd. There is one track that features Fat Joe and Jadakiss (with Paris saying "Fat Joe, y'all!" breathily through it) but it's really more of a dance thing than a hip hop thing.

[Radical Activist]

39. Maybe she recorded it

so she could demand clubs she visits play her songs while she's there. I can see it being an ego thing in that way.

[progmom]

42. you do know she charges a fee to go to clubs, right?

paris doesn't go anywhere unless you pay her.

[Radical Activist]

43. and no one goes into paris unless you pay her.

:)

[progmom]

45. lol!

:spray:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

61. "We'll always have Paris." -nt

[Divameow77]

26. Give it to me

so I can torture my ex-husband :evilgrin:

[progmom]

27. hee!!

:D

[Writer]

29. I'm not sure what to do with it, but I do wonder what she's doing with...

that microphone. ((SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!))

[MrCoffee]

31. So did you finish it and it's now your new favorite CD?

I'd imagine that she's quite infectious.

[progmom]

32. like a sexually transmitted disease, yes

it's done now.
um...i really think she shouldn't "sing" or "write" "lyrics"
the producers did the best they could, and if there were different words and a different singer i might actually like it. :shrug:

[mduffy31]

33. Send it to me

I need some clay pigeons to target shoot with.

[Sugar Smack]

34. Put Powerpuff girls stickers all over the front of it

and use the back of it to adjust your lipstick. :bounce:

[sundog]

35. keep it away from me

you would guilt me into playing it :cry:

and say i, "oh... i really don't want to listen to it but poor j went through all the trouble to send it to me & i love her so much i would feel awful if i didn't listen & try to enjoy it & she might quiz me about it at some random moment on a tuesday & what if she asks me about it and i have to say 'i've been so busy with my jet set life that i haven't had the chance to yet listen'" :cry:



why couldn't it have been fischerspooner? :cry:

[progmom]

36. Have I given you music you didn't like?

:cry:

[sundog]

40. uh, no

your previous selections have brought me boundless joy

in fact, i was playing that complilation on the kinkysweet label this past weekend on band night :D

best track of all is "kind of latin rhythm" by the juju orchestra on brazilectro 7

seriously, i adore those discs :)

[progmom]

44. that's my favorite track too

:hug:

and that's the only thing i have ever given you, isn't it?
i can't remember.
i need to give you more.

i have an extra copy of another compilation on kinkysweet:

[sundog]

47. i love the cover

tell me i'm wrong, but on a fundamental level i believe good album art is half of the listening experience (maybe not half, but a big chunk)

all those kinkysweets have a singular style - i just looked on the sleeves (you actually gave me 2) & the same guy does the design & layout on both

[MrCoffee]

37. First things first...

put the person who gave it to you on notice.

[progmom]

46. yeah but he also gave me the new stereolab best of, so he's ok

he's my Warner/Elektra/Atlantic rep :)

[Cathyclysmic]

38. I think I caught herpes from looking at that cover.

[progmom]

48. no - you caught herpes from Beastman

tell him hi for me, k? :loveya:

[asthmaticeog]

57. He has herpes? Ooooooooh, shit...

:yoiks:

[Broken_Hero]

41. turn it into a coaster....nt

[quiet.american]

49. Use it as a door-stopper. n/t

[Ikonoklast]

52. "Shooter!.......ready on the firing line?"

"Shooter is ready!"



"PULL!"



BAM!......BAM!



"Dammit, took me two shells."

[ghostsofgiants]

54. Carve it into a shank and kill the rat bastard who gave it to you.

[Redstone]

55. Shoot it with a silver bullet; that way it'll stay dead.

Redstone

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

60. YOWZA! That's the cover???

:wow:
And no, I'm not going to buy it because of a kinky cover. I may be a perver but I'm not an idiot.

[Cathyclysmic]

62. Bye, Jess. We love you.

:(

[asthmaticeog]

63. Kick

Ain't fairness grand?

[sundog]

64. love you my friend

:loveya:

:hug:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

69. Me too. -nt

[Sugar Smack]

65. Take care, you.

:pals: :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

66. Turn it into a work of art by hanging it with other CDs?

so

is she into bondage ? ? ?

[Giant Robot]

67. So back in the day

my brother and his best friend were in the National Guard. His best friend got Micheal Jackson's Thriller album as a present, and not being a Micheal Jackson fan, wanted something to do with it. He took it to the tank gunnery range one weekend and tried to hit it with live rounds. Failing to do that, he just shot at it with his side arm and that ended the Thriller album for good. Not recommending anything officially, just sharing a memory ;)

[NYCGirl]

68. If you have a shaky table with a wonky leg, put the CD under the short leg

and voila! Also works well with wobbly chairs.

[Tyler Durden]

70. PULL!!!

I love skeet shooting. Haven't done it in years.

[Moderator]

71. Locking

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