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So, what do you do when you're really fucking angry, but the

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:32 AM
Original message
So, what do you do when you're really fucking angry, but the
kids are asleep so you can't slam any doors or punch any holes in the walls because it would wake them up?

Redstone
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:33 AM
Response to Original message
1. I used to go outside and sit on the porch and cry...
angry, sad, lonely , etc, .. me and the front porch.


no one ever knew.



aA
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:34 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. Think I'll head out to the screen porch. Thanks for the advice.
Redstone
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Broken_Hero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:33 AM
Response to Original message
2. usually stand out side
smoke a cigarette, and try and cool off...:P
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:37 AM
Response to Reply #2
12. Good advice, thanks. An outdoor cig does have a more calming
effect than an indoor one.

Especially if you have a drink with, as well.

Redstone
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Broken_Hero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:39 AM
Response to Reply #12
15. Very true...:) nt
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zanne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 07:55 AM
Response to Reply #15
45. I only get tempted to smoke again when I'm angry.
So I have to throw things!:rofl:
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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:34 AM
Response to Original message
3. Channel it into something creative...
RL
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johnnie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:34 AM
Response to Original message
5. Take a deep breath
What could be so bad?
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #5
14. I can't tell anyone. That's part of why it's so frustrating.
Redstone
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
6. I put my headphones on and listen to hard music
Right now I'm listening to Disturbed...

this is a great one I posted last night,
also I'm Alive, and Just Stop are good too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evg4Me9o3-A
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HarukaTheTrophyWife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
7. Stand outside with a cigarette and a drink.
I also have a heavy bag in the basement though. I like to work out my excess energy on that.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:40 AM
Response to Reply #7
17. I'm going to do that right now. Back in 5 minutes. But I can't do the
punching bag, for physical reasons. Wish I could.

Thank you.

Redstone
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SeattleGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:35 AM
Response to Original message
8. Go for a walk.
Mutter to myself. Use the physical activity to blow off some of the steam from the anger.
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Robeson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:37 AM
Response to Original message
9. I don't have kids...
...thankfully...:P
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:37 AM
Response to Original message
10. ......
:hug:
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fizzgig Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:37 AM
Response to Original message
11. i don't have kids
but when i was living with family i'd go to the basement and jump up and down and stamp my feet for a bit

:hug:
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Ptah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:38 AM
Response to Original message
13. Play some music in the headphones




Or play some hot blues:



Or play something more soothing:



Or find a place to rollerskate:


:shrug:

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:52 AM
Response to Reply #13
19. Big Brother & the Holding Company. Maybe my favorite band name
of all time.

And what an album. Oh, Janis, we miss you...

Redstone
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:53 AM
Response to Reply #13
20. Oh, you can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd,
You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd,
You can't rollerskate in a buffalo herd,
But you can be happy if you've got a mind to...

I remember.

Redstone
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Ptah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:57 AM
Response to Reply #20
24. you can't load a camera with a kid on your back.


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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:39 AM
Response to Original message
16. When I'm angry, I listen to loud music and skateboard.
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:50 AM
Response to Original message
18. Take a walk
of hold an egg over the sink and squeeze the living daylights outta it.

It ya hold it just right, it can take a pretty good physical hit. Pretend it's someone's throat if that helps. ;)

Throwing rocks in a big field can help too.

Punching hole is walls is something you and I have well outgrown.

Have also been known to take a drive up the continental divide, steep hill... and scream one big ass scream all the way back down. That has a certain primal therapy sort of affect. It does suck the pissed right outta ya.

Sending peaceful thoughts for after the anger gets released.

hm
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:54 AM
Response to Reply #18
21. batting cage
that's a nice one if it's during business hours. always works for me.
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:56 AM
Response to Reply #21
22. That'd be good
if there was one within a hundred miles...

Easier for me to lift a hen's hiney and steal an egg ;)
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:59 AM
Response to Reply #21
26. Great suggestion, and thank you. It would work, if there was
one nearby. But there isn't.

I'd be knocking balls into the nosebleed seats, and it would indeed help.

Redstone
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:01 AM
Response to Reply #26
27. if you have a gravel driveway and a baseball bat
rocks are a decent substitute.
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:03 AM
Response to Reply #27
29. Gads, what fun. I haven't swung a bat in a couple decades
And I could get that annoying neighbor kid when he rounds the corner. THAT would certainly improve MY mood :evilgrin:

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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:58 AM
Response to Reply #18
25. When I lived in Houston, I used to go scream things from the top of
the San Jacinto Battlefield Monument.

Can't do that here...no towers. Nor any other place to vocalize loudly without drawing the attention of John Darn.

So I'll just stew, and take some comfort from the attentions of my saviors (my fellow DUers), then hit the Ambien and go to sleep and take it up again tomorrow.

Fuck me, I was anticipating that tomorrow would be a good day. Now it won't.

But so it goes.

Redstone
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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:37 AM
Response to Reply #25
37. Dory Previn had a song that I love
Screamin all alone in a 20 Mile Zone

It's priceless.

Until the anger (and cause) subsides, remember my promise:
Today is NOT what forever feels like.

Hang in there, my friend. The worm will turn.

Peace & strength,
hm
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 12:57 AM
Response to Original message
23. Any form of exercise you can manage.
Until you sweat. That's what I do, and it works. P.S. I can't punch anything either, but I do what I can.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:02 AM
Response to Reply #23
28. Unfortunately, I am extremely limited in what I can do without
paying big tomorrow for having done it.

But I think I will anyway. The release tonight will be worth the pain tomorrow. There are batteries in the bike's headlight and rear flashers, and the kids are well racked out.

Thanks for the suggestion.

Redstone
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:13 AM
Response to Reply #28
30. Redstone, I think I know your issue.
I've got rheumatoid which isn't as difficult, but I suffer the morning after. Oh, I do! Sometimes getting those endorphins flowing is really important though. As long as it doesn't accelerate anything. :hug: It isn't easy, god I know.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:16 AM
Response to Reply #30
31. Yes, my friend, you do know my issue with the physical part, but
not with the source of my anger.

And that, unfortunately, is not something that I can talk about, even with my wonderful Du friends.

I just can't.

And rheumatoid arthritis is nothing to dismiss lightly...I hope you're doing well with it.

Redstone
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:23 AM
Response to Reply #31
32. Doing fine; have had it for thirteen years and luckily
a manageable case. My empathy for your anger... the most damaging emotion. I wish you the strength to deal with it in a way that doesn't hurt you further.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:25 AM
Response to Reply #32
33. Damn. Thank you. You do understand.
Redstone
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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:30 AM
Response to Reply #32
35. I think so n/t
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speedoo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:28 AM
Response to Reply #31
34. I hope you can talk with someone about it.
The physical activity and other suggestions are good, but only short term, as I am sure you know. Long term, anger will eat you up, unless you resolve it somehow, IMO. I used to deal with anger a lot, but I guess age has mellowed me, so it's not much of a concern for me anymore.

Peace.
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Redstone Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:32 AM
Response to Reply #34
36. Yes, "talking with someone about it" is important. And I will do so.
Just like I'd call a plumber to fix a problem with the pipes that I could not handle myself, I will call someone to help me with this.

Redstone
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reyd reid reed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:38 AM
Response to Original message
38. I just find someplace quiet and sit and fume
Sometimes I'll cry a little, but mostly I fume. Or I'll write, but sometimes that just makes it worse.

The key is to be alone for a little while, though.

You okay?

:hug:
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Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:50 AM
Response to Original message
39. Redstone, this is precisely what I do:
I go into the guest bathroom. I close the door and lock it. I then turn on the cold water and turn off the lights. I carefully lay on the floor, my head on a towel. I close my eyes and meditate, listening to the gentle rush of the water, until whatever strong feeling I have washes away.

It works every time.
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RFKHumphreyObama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 01:59 AM
Response to Original message
40. I usually allow myself to seethe for a while
Edited on Sat Sep-02-06 02:01 AM by socialdemocrat1981
And then find some music, engage in some creative writing or do something else to distract me and calm me down.

The very best of luck in whatever you are going through Redstone. Hope everything works out OK:hug:
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:04 AM
Response to Original message
41. Late night bike ride, as fast as possible (on a road where I know the
potholes, obviously). Or a long walk...

I'm sorry you're having a bad time - hope you solve it quickly...
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REP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 03:54 AM
Response to Original message
42. I Don't Manifest My Anger As Violence (No Children, Either)
Perhaps you might want to consider why you become violent when angry, and if that is healthy - especially since you do have children.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 08:06 AM
Response to Reply #42
46. what you said
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lost-in-nj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 07:47 AM
Response to Original message
43. I hope things are a little better today
:hi:


:hug:

lost
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Bossy Monkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 07:54 AM
Response to Original message
44. Long drive, crank tunes, sing really really loud n/t
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Tom Yossarian Joad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 08:20 AM
Response to Original message
47. You get over it. It's just one of those luxuries we can't afford when
the situation is as described.

Peace and good will.
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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
48. I write an incredibly hate filled, angry, letter on the computer to the
person I'm pissed at and then go to sleep.

When I wake up, I either send it or delete. Works wonders.

:hug:

Hope you're okay, dude.
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TOhioLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Sep-02-06 03:21 PM
Response to Original message
49. I don't know what's wrong, but here anyway...
:hug::hug::hug: Hope you can resolve the issue soon...
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