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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:18 PM
Original message
DU women - how can YOU tell if a guy is gay or not?
:popcorn:

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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:19 PM
Response to Original message
1. If he says he is, I assume he is.
If he says he's not, I assume he's not.

If any of that changes and he thinks it's my business to know, he'll tell me.

:)
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El Fuego Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:22 PM
Response to Original message
2. You can see it in their eyes.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. Hmmm, I'll have to send you a pic sometime...
:)

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crim son Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. Unless a man is out and Loud and Proud
you can't tell. Why?
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:32 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Just curious...
And you're right; unless they say it, people don't know. (I can't tell by looking into one's eyes. I only know who I think I'm "compatible" with by looking at their eyes.)
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Nikia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:39 PM
Response to Original message
6. I don't usually unless he says or have other clear evidence
Like I see him exhibiting dating behavior towards a guy or hear it from what I consider a knowledgable source.
There have been several guys who I have suspected are gay. Strangely, some of them have been extremely homophobic.
I don't think that I am a good judge of gayness though.
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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:43 PM
Response to Original message
7. When he turns me down!
:evilgrin:

Just kidding. Someone had to say it.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 07:50 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Dang, I wish more women would make advances...
Real ones. Not just empty flirts. :cry:

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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
9. Well, there's this Agenda.....
Seriously, for me it's just instinct. I personally think I have pretty good gaydar, but when a guy says "fabulous" a lot and frequently compliments you on your shoes, I would say that there is a better than average chance that he's on the gay-ish side. ;)
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 09:46 PM
Response to Original message
10. I'm the world's finest fag-hag
Edited on Mon Sep-04-06 10:23 PM by mycritters2
If we hit it off in our first conversation, he's queer as a three dollar bill. Count on it.

And we'll be lifelong friends.

The real fun is when my best friend brings his latest guypal by to meet me. The poor guys can never figure out who I am.

"Will and Grace" has gone a long way toward educating people as to the fag-hag/gay guy experience.

To the person who sent the pm: you think this will clarify it?
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 09:48 PM
Response to Original message
11. Gay-dar.
We get it with our first period. Sometimes later.
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idgiehkt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 09:57 PM
Response to Original message
12. hmmm
eyebrows are sometimes a good indicator for me. Overly done, unless they are a met, but even still most mets don't make that mistake.

Some guys that are bi or are on the downlow are not going to show up on gaydar. I think a lot more men are than people are aware of, so it's kind of futile to say you can read every single gay man, as there are many different ways to be a gay male.
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Momgonepostal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
13. I can't
Unless he's REALLY flamboyantly so. I have no sense of gay-day whatsoever.
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reyd reid reed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:15 PM
Response to Original message
14. Can't
Unless he comes right out and says so, can't tell for sure. And you know what they say about 'ass-u-me'.

:hi:

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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
15. Walking in on him with a dude is a good clue
I have shit gaydar, so I'd never know otherwise.
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reyd reid reed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:20 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. "But honey...
it's not what you think, really it's not. It's just...ummmm...well...y'see....Frank here, he, ummmmm....it's not what you think. Really it's not."

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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:33 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. He was tying his shoe, and I fell. Naked.
It could happen to anybody!

:rofl:
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reyd reid reed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. LOL!
Yeah. Just like that. Anybody.

:rofl::rofl:rofl:
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begin_within Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. On the Jerry Springer show once, a guest said, "It just happened," and
Jerry said, "Now wait. This is something I never understand. When they say, 'It just happened.' What does this mean anyway? The two of you were walking down the street, and suddenly your clothes fell off?"
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reyd reid reed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #20
27. *snort*
Must've drawn quite a crowd too...

:rofl:

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Mr. Blonde Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
19. If he listens to Coldplay
ha ha
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 11:03 PM
Response to Original message
21. I have pretty good gaydar
and there are certain physical types who are gay more often than not (hard to explain), and certain vocal mannerisms and attitudes that are gay more often than not. I've even spotted certain men as gay at first sight, only to have my initial impression confirmed later.

It's actually a handy skill for a single woman to have. It lets me know early on which men will forever remain in the just friends category.
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TimeChaser Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
22. I have excellent gay-dar
It's only failed me on two occasions during my life.
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amitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-04-06 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
23. He often looks similar to the guy you have posted there.
But with a body attached.
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radwriter0555 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
24. I lived and or worked in West Hollywood for more than 20 years. You could
say I have an instinct about these things. And, I have to say, I dated VERY successfully in WeHo. I managed to find pretty much all the straight guys. (Tip, Sheriff's Department and Fire Department have a decent ratio of gay to straight men and lemme tell ya, the firemen ARE HOT)

That said, unless the guy is a flaming, skipping, lisping drag queen, and heaven knows I adore them so, it's all about the subtleties. It's that slight extra attention to dress, a slightly more careful "look at me" walk, the very tidy collar, the tight jeans, the carefully styled hair, the hint of foundation, the scarf tossed cavalierly over the shoulder, the glitter on the pavement.

We truly miss our gay and lesbian family and friends that we left behind in So Cal.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:03 AM
Response to Original message
25. gay folk are honest with me
because they know they can be :)
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 12:09 AM
Response to Original message
26. the only gay men that I know, 3 in all, very close friends ..
Edited on Tue Sep-05-06 12:09 AM by auntAgonist
have just been themselves. I don't know how I knew, it must have come up at some time. I don't know how I'd tell if I wasn't informed by the gay man. :shrug:

I guess it's just not that important to me.

aA
:hi:
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BlueIris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-05-06 01:35 AM
Response to Original message
28. Welp, the gay men I've known are so totally out that I've rarely had to
go by the "little clues" at all. Of course, that's probably a good thing, since my gaydar sucks. Sucks so so badly. Let's see, how to I tell in the case of...ambiguity. All right, I confess, I look for refined manners, impecable dress (even if it isn't "stylish," if it's fastidious, that'll be one 'clue' to me) and a desire to rip me for having neither. :-)
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