Why do people offer empty advice?

[Deja Q]

You know, that phony sort of helping people. "Help".

My favorite is when one guy tells his goofy little friend "You need to get a date." And that's all. Just how is this helping anybody, except the jerk's grandiose pomposity and ego?

And why do other people call up coworkers in the office and take claim for ideas they had nothing to do with?

[graywarrior]

1. You need to get a life.

:hi:

[Deja Q]

6. I won't let the door hit me on the way out.

:hi:

[taterguy]

2. Because people suck

In case you hadn't noticed

[Deja Q]

5. You forgot the addendum:

"And not in a good way"

:P

Oh, and I've noticed. I'm tired of bad people. Can't somebody good exist?

I'm just tired.

[taterguy]

8. Good people exist but it's like chasing butterflies

The harder you try to find us the more difficult it is.

How's that for worthless advice?

[anarch]

3. you need to get a date

I'm sorry...I really am. But I couldn't help it.

[MrCoffee]

4. sounds like somebody needs a date.

[billyskank]

7. "Dude, you need to get laid."

Like that, you mean?

As if:

(a) It's that easy (ok, ok, you could always pay for it), and

(b) That solves anything.

[Sugar Smack]

9. Yeah, GOTTA love that one.

:grr: :nuke:

[Dangerously Amused]

10. Don't take any wooden nickels.

:hug:

[sweetheart]

11. Because they're reaching out

And even if you reject it, its a way of showing concern.

[Pool Hall Ace]

12. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Ooooh, so deep! Why didn't I think of that?

[Sugar Smack]

13. I maintain that people are at their cheapest & most flippant when

they feel it's necessary to say something and they don't know what to say. Some people can't say, "I don't know what to say".

[MrCoffee]

14. That's glib, sugar smack. you're just being glib.

[Sugar Smack]

16. And you're just being cheeky.

}(

[zanne]

17. Well, to each his own.

And, that's the way the cookie crumbles. I hope that helped.

[Sugar Smack]

18. I don't know what to say.

No, really! :D

[ComerPerro]

23. Hey, man. At least your couch still works, right?

[Sugar Smack]

24. OMG!!!

No, really. I'm a lucky person. I'm a very lucky person. I have a lot of shit in my apt. :toast:

[Arugula Latte]

15. The worst one is when you're looking for something ...

"Well, where's the last place you saw it?"

D'OH! Why didn't I think of that? :eyes:

[Broken_Hero]

19. IME, its usually because

they have no other advice to give...:shrug:

[CBHagman]

20. Some people do it automatically.

I think we've all had friends and relatives who spout platitudes and quick fixes every time a problem comes up. It can be awfully shallow, but I think several things could be at work here:

1. People feel that the mention of a problem is a cry for help.
2. It's a way of ending the conversation.
3. People view their own problems as more complex and thus respond to others' problems in a more simplistic fashion.

But the whole effect can be devastating. Giving unsolicited advice has a real "We're done here" cast to it, as though the listener had no idea of the easy solution and the speaker has such superior knowledge. :eyes: I think if we asked the average self-appointed adviser, he or she would say it's just an effort to be helpful.

But it does cause an amazing amount of estrangement and bad feeling.

[wildhorses]

21. Leroy, boy, is that you?

I thought your post-hangin days were through,
Sunk-in eyes and full of sighs,
Tell no lies, you get wise,
I tell you now were gonna pull you through,
Theres only one thing left that we can do.

We gotta get you a woman,
Its like nothin else to make you feel sure youre alive.
We gotta get you a woman,
We better get walkin, were wastin time talkin now.

Leroy, boy, youre my friend
You say how and Ill say when
Come and meet me down the street
Take a seat, its my treat
You may not ever get this chance again
That empty feelings just about to end.

Talkin bout life and what it means to you,
It dont mean nothin if it dont run through
I got one thing to say, you know its true
You got to find some time to get this thing together.

Talkin bout things about that special one
They may be stupid but they sure are fun
Ill give it to you while were on the run
Because we aint got time to get this thing together, cause we
Got to get together with a woman who has been around,
One who knows better than to let you down,
Lets hope theres still one left in this whole town,
And that shell take some time to get this thing together.

We gotta get you a woman
And when were through with you,
Well get me one too.

[Zavulon]

22. Dude, just have a beer. :) (NT)