You know you're going to hell when...

[ZombieNixon]

you light the candle at a one-year-old's birthday party with a lighter that looks like this:



I was, however, a decent human being and hid the text from the entire crowd. :hide:

(They couldn't find the matches, that's why this was even an issue.)

[Haole Girl]

1. And, now I'm curious...

where did you get that lighter?

[ZombieNixon]

3. A novelty store in my hometown.

:D

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

2. I've done worse...

let's just say it involved laughing at a certain incident in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

[ZombieNixon]

4. Now, *I'm* curious...

:shrug:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

10. Okay, well remember how last year that balloon hit a street lamp?

Well, my friend and I were watching the parade recovering from the pre-Thanksgiving liquor & blow before we had to go visit our respective families. We were joking around that it's always fun when there's a balloon accident. Just then, a news report comes in that a balloon hit a street lamp and fell on somebody. He remarks (mind you, this guy volunteers for the special olympics annually), "it'd be even better if it fell on somebody in a wheelchair." I cracked up laughing and then they show the person it landed on.

SHE WAS IN A WHEELCHAIR!!!!

And then I was like, "OMFG! Jamie, we're going to hell!" And he agreed.

[ghostsofgiants]

6. Come on, details!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

13. Read my respond to ZombieNixion. nt

[Haole Girl]

7. It didn't have anything to do with the Cat in the Hat, did it?

:shrug:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

12. No, last year it was the M&M balloon that took out a streetlamp.

Close though.

[NewWaveChick1981]

5. Yep, it's hell for you...

:hi: :evilgrin: Excellent!

[ZombieNixon]

8. I don't even smoke...

I just wanted the lighter that said that. :evilgrin: :hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

9. Are you SURE you don't smoke?

Have you ever checked after sex just to make sure? :rofl: :hi: :evilgrin:

Yeah, I'm going to hell too... :P

[ZombieNixon]

11. I'm sure.

The neighbors do it for me. :evilgrin:

Edit: Ohh...I've never checked there. :blush:

[NewWaveChick1981]

14. Glad you finally got that...

:rofl: :hi: :evilgrin:

I wasn't talking about tobacco or pot.... :P

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

18. Now I feel braindead.

I'm going to blame the allergy meds.

I was going to post "oddly enough, I'm a smoker but I don't usually have a cigarette after sex."

[NewWaveChick1981]

22. It's definitely the meds.

:hi: :rofl: I need a rimshot smiley. :P

[billyskank]

15. Jesus' penis certainly won't be appearing on YOUR work surface

that's for sure. :D

[ZombieNixon]

16. I do much better work than the Baby Jenis...

:evilgrin:

[datasuspect]

17. i'm going to hell for posting this:

sexy jesus

[DawgHouse]

19. My friend once resorted to desperate measures when a neighbor

girl showed up with a balloon. She was having fun and my friends two daughters started whining because they didn't have a balloon. So my friend got two condoms and blew them up so her daughters would each have a "balloon" too. Yep, she's going to hell. :)

[Writer]

20. After reading some of these threads, I just wonder why...

we don't all just meet up at some highway rest stop somewhere and...

[ZombieNixon]

21. Go to hell together?

That's what this thread is about. :P

[Writer]

31. Yeah...

Look for me. I'm at the highway rest stop with SATAN spraypainted on the sign. :P

[CaliforniaPeggy]

23. What do you think goes on at all those meetups?

Now you know!

Yup, we're all going to hell!

:toast: :bounce: :bounce: :toast: :evilgrin:

[Writer]

32. Oh dear. That gives a whole new definition of meetup, now, doesn't it?

Peggy, is there a bit of footsie going on?

[RetroLounge]

24. Like there was any doubt before this?

:hide:

RL

[ZombieNixon]

25. Well, no, but I just like to be sure.

I hate uncertainty. :evilgrin:

[angryinusacny]

26. No problem..

After all, without sex there would have been no 1 year old and no party....so rock on!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

28. My dear angryinusacny!

Welcome to DU!

And especially, welcome to the Lounge!

Here you have the living, beating heart of DU......

And the occasional s*x thread!

Enjoy your stay in our crazy, addictive little village........:hi:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

33. Peggy, you can type it. Come on. Do it. Type "sex thread."

:rofl:

[LadyoftheRabbits]

27. You DIDN'T!

OMG... :rofl:

:*

[ZombieNixon]

29. Like I said, they couldn't find the matches...

I was simply being a good friend. :eyes: :P

:D :* :loveya:

[LadyoftheRabbits]

30. Of course.

:eyes: :P

:loveya: