I blame violent Amish video games.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

With talk of gun ownership all the rage in GD, it's time to discuss the other reason why there's violence in our society- video games.

Yes, we've heard all about Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, and Statuatory Rape: Atlantic City, but few people know that even Amish children play violent video games.


Screenshot of Burn the Heathens 3: The Burnining, rated: M

"They just sit there for hours, staring at that screen," said Rebecca Stoltzfus, Amish soccermom. "It can't be good for them.

"I disagree," says John Lapp, an Amish videogame chopper. "There's no statistical correlation between Amish playing video games, and violence." When asked about the newest violent videogame on the market, "Burn the Heathens 3," Lapp replied, "look, Amish kids aren't going to be playing that game anyway. It's a stale rehash of Incinerate the Unbelievers, which itself was a bad clone of the epic Scorch the Philistines series."

Statistics aside, it's pretty obvious that violent Amish video games caused this recent shooting. Sure, the shooter was an adult, and not even Amish. But that just goes to show how tricky the problem is.