My Aspie kid is driving me nuts

[bleedingheart]

my son has aspergers...he is a really smart child but his obsessions can just push out any awareness he has of the world...and lately he has just been in some other world and i tried reaching out to him today regarding other things like homework...and he just seems to want to remain in his special world...

I am going to handle it ...but sometimes i just need to vent...

he is in bed....i have a small tumbler of gin...and I am trying to catch up on some of my work...

[Arugula Latte]

1. Damn.

It is hard enough raising non-Autistic kids. I have nothing but admiration for the parents and caregivers that deal with the nitty-gritty minutiae of daily life with kids with Aspergers or any number of special needs. :hug:

[bleedingheart]

3. you just get used to it...

my son is very high functioning and to many people he is the "little professor", unbelievably naieve, polite and has a great vocabulary. However he has only a few limited interests and unless you are interested in that, he has no interest in you...he does not like to go places and he can not understand social interaction with others...but I am very lucky when compared to some parents whose children aren't even verbal.

We are trying to boost his independence. Basically he is walking around focusing on his interests and doesn't remember to look both ways when crossing the street, and he never seems to really get organized when it comes to school. I am very lucky to live where I do and he has therapists and the teachers are great at the public school...it is just tonight I kind of lost it with him but before he went to bed we made up and all is well......

[pitohui]

15. omg

i wasn't verbal pre-puberty and i consider myself okay now so it sounds to me like he has a head start

i actually got hit by a car (but it was ok, going slow) once so i totally identify with that

he'll be okay

i'll tell you a secret, most people have limited interests and don't care feck all what you're talking abt, the young asperger's kid is at least honest about it so he's got that going on

[MoseyWalker]

2. I understand what you're going through, and wish you the best

Aspies are indeed intelligent to the point that their energy will challenge you.

Remember his intelligence and love (though maybe not easily expressed).

Remember how you feel tonight, and how you could be feeling if he wasn't around. I bet you would answer that his energy and thoughts are something positive, in the long run.

I do wish you all luck!

[bleedingheart]

6. thanks

i take small steps every day with him...

[brook]

4. Enjoy a little respite.

You're doing a tough job. My daughter has had a number of aspie kids in her class over the years -each one different - all loveable - requiring maybe more attention or energy than some of the others. So I have a glimmer of what you're saying.(She teaches & heads up a small state preschool).

Today, she told me she asked one of the little ones if she should write a note to his Mom. He said: "No, I only have one! So she said:"Well, how about I write it for your Mom? Digusted he repeated that he only had one. I'm sure he was wondering why his folks sent him to a school that had such a dumb teacher!

This is for you, Mom! :hug:

[bleedingheart]

7. he was a handful in preschool

so I can only imagine...

he was playing chess at 4...

thanks for the support.....I know that all the work will pay off.

[brook]

9. chess at 4.

Oh my. I remember one little boy who could tell you everything you could possibly care to know about elevators. His bedroom closet was an accurate replica of an old Otis. I didn't know he was an aspie the day I went at snack time and sat next to him. He didn't interact with me. But then he'd never seen me before - and most of the kids think it's 'weird' that Ms. Stacey actually has a mother.

How old is your son now?

edited for lazy grammar.

[bleedingheart]

10. he is 10

his first and only obsession are computers, games and how they work, how to play them and the fantasy worlds that are involved.
Unlike a lot of Aspies, he doesn't have just one topic, but he rotates them...odd but not that unusual.

His favorites are social insects (he will tell you everything about bees, ants, wasps..etc), ancient cultures and specifically Egypt and computer games that deal with those cultures so things like Age of Empires are of great interest to him.

He actually doesn't compute that we speak English and if he encounters people with foreign accents who are speaking english...he thinks they are speaking another language..and this has resulted in him studying other languages as well...he is very curious and will spend hours on something...just to master a topic.

he plays the piano, composes music in his head and will play for you his compositions...verbatim but doesn't write them down...

edit: forgetting words...I am tired..

[brook]

11. Rest now.

Thank you for the answers...you're kind. I'm going to wind down now myself.

[Ptah]

5. . _ ..

:hug:

[bleedingheart]

8. thanks

[blitzen]

12. I have a 9 yr-old Aspie boy...Have similar problems

Have had success recently after putting him on Concerta (time-released Ritalin). The first few weeks of school this year (before the Concerta) were bad...The past few weeks have been great. I'm not trying to push Meds, just reporting what has worked so far.

He's still definitely in his special world--which right now involves watching a lot of History Channel and obsessing on Mongolia and what he calls the "Holy Balkan Kingdoms," which according to him includes Lichtenstein.

[NNadir]

13. The school kept telling me my kid had Asperger's.

Except for the fact that he doesn't have Asperger's and thought he did, ever since the school has finally agreed to not push the issue so long as I don't say my kid is dyslexic (which he is), he's no problem me whatsoever.

I'm lucky.

[Kat45]

14. There are a couple of aspie kids in my church

One is 14 and he knows everything there is to know about dinosaurs. He's wanted to be a paleontologist since he was a little kid. Might be hard for him to get to that point because it's hard for him to concentrate in school. Another kid is 18, and sadly, his obsession is food/eating. He weighs 350 pounds.

[MsKandice01]

16. I'm in the process of getting my 3-year-old tested right now..

Right now, his obsession is cars and monster trucks. He has to have a car in his hand at all times, even when he's sleeping. He's not very verbal at all, even though he's extremely loving (even if extremely stubborn) and socializes pretty much like normal kids his age. He's very smart and memorizes full 30-minute scenes out of his movies, has known all of his letters and the sounds they make since he was 2, colors, shapes, etc., and can count to 30, yet when I ask him how his day went, he can't tell me. I'm thinking either Asperger's or high-functioning autism or PDD but we'll see how his evaluation goes. I have a nephew with PDD and one with severe autism/mental retardation so I don't know if I'm just being extra sensitive or if there's a real issue there.

May I ask how old your son was when you got a diagnosis?

[ScreamingMeemie]

19. MsK, your little one sounds a lot like my babyG.

He went three years with an airplane in his hand. He is more OCD than anything else. Things have to be lined up in rows of 10 or multiples of 10. He cannot leave the house without making sure certain things are done. He also didn't speak until he was well past three except for short bursts of words to communicate needs.

If this is the boy in the video you posted laughing at Pooh making a mess...he's adorable. :hi:

[MsKandice01]

21. Yep, that's him!

Thanks. :)

[NC_Nurse]

17. My Aspie son just started college.

He drove us all crazy back in the day talking endlessly about whatever his current obsession was....he eventually figured out how to limit that so he could make friends.
He is very intelligent also, but not the most organized. I am hoping he is keeping up in his classes. He says he is, but he always thinks he is...sometimes he has missed assignments that didn't register on his radar. Since I can't nag him long distance, I'm just praying and waiting to see how he does....
Anyway, he's a great person and I'm glad I was able to keep it together to help him get the support he needed. That's all you can do and it sounds like you're doing very well indeed! :hug:

[hunter]

23. Keep an eye on him...

I crashed and burned in college...bad. It took me nine years to graduate and I was asked to leave twice. I never said a word to my parents about any of it.

I suspect the world is a rougher place now, and that universities are much less willing to give people second and third chances. The only reason I graduated was that there were a couple of professors willing to stand behind me, and various other people who were looking out for me along the way.

There were quite a few periods when I was essentially a homeless guy living in the university library and computer labs. My lowest point was living in my broken down car, in a parking lot behind a church. The pastor of the church had offered me better shelter, but I didn't understand that.

I really didn't figure out who I was until my mid 'twenties. Before then I was mostly a creature of my obsessions.

[NC_Nurse]

25. Oh, I am!

Believe me. He wouldn't go see the special services people yet because he thinks he's got thins under control. If there's a whif of a problem, I'll take him there myself.
Thanks for the head's up! Congrats on getting through what sound like a terrible ordeal! :hug:

[KamaAina]

24. My mom's Aspie son finished Yale a couple of decades ago.

and yes, I am an only child. Note how many of us there are here at DU. Social interaction is quite cool, actually, as long as it is mediated by the computer. :-) You might want to have him give that a try; just watch out for maf54. :spank:

[NC_Nurse]

26. Luckily he's a diehard liberal.

He also seems to be heterosexual - at least he has a girlfriend....and I've found a few condoms in his pockets. ;-)
I doubt he'd give Foley and his ilk the time of day.
I'm impressed about Yale! Your obsessions must've been more academic than his! He's into film - BIGTIME!
He wants to be a film critic....

[bleedingheart]

30. thanks for the encouragement

my son sounds just like your son...

[NC_Nurse]

32. You are SO welcome!

:pals:

I have high hopes for both of our boys! :-)

[Deja Q]

18. I'm an Aspie adult...

I feel sorry for ya. It's ironic that I can empathize. We can be challenging at times, but rest assured - it's NOT personal in the slightest. And as much trying as we do over time, we don't always escape from it.

[NC_Nurse]

20. Challenging

But well worth it! :)

[bleedingheart]

27. My husband is very Aspie like

so that helps me...and he can relate to him...however sometimes they are so involved in their respective obsessions that they will irritate one another.

Tonight he is a different child then yesterday. I think he felt he was losing control the special order he likes to keep his life ...and he became unruly and unresponsive to any outside help.

I have learned that it isn't personal, it takes a while to adapt to it though.... :-)

[Deja Q]

29. And you're awesome for endeavoring to adapt.

:yourock:

VERY few people are so caring.

[bleedingheart]

31. thanks...

:blush:

[Deja Q]

34. No need to blush

To have that level of patience and understanding... even when he misunderstands things.

[tigereye]

22. hey

:hug:

sometimes I think kids just go to a place of their own. Who can say what solace it brings them. Hang in there.

[bleedingheart]

28. thanks for the hug...

he is such a sweetie and the services he receives have really helped him, it is just the fine tuning...his psychologist calls him the "diamond in the rough"....

he is driving his poor mobile therapist nuts...but she is great and I think he will eventually open up a bit for her...

[cally]

33. Well, I'm jealous

My 19 year old called me today and told me she thinks she has aspergers. I've thought this for a few years but for a variety of reasons I didn't push getting her diagnosed. So, I'm just jealous that you've identified what your child faces and can relate on a sane level. We had a somewhat uncomfortable conversation, mostly very helpful, about my reaction to her behavior during her childhood. I think we both are coming to understand that neither of us understood her reactions and what caused them.