Jacko Running For Foley's Seat --(hmr)

[benny05]

King of Pop Makes First Foray into Politics


In a stunning development that could radically alter the electoral
landscape in the upcoming midterm elections, the singer Michael Jackson
announced today that he would run for the seat vacated last Friday by
former Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.)

Mr. Jackson told reporters that he had never shown much interest in
politics before, but added, "When I started reading about Mark Foley, I
realized that the House of Representatives was my kind of place."

The platinum-selling recording artist drew big crowds in his first day
of campaigning, delighting onlookers in Orlando by getting out of his
limo and dancing on its roof.

But in one regrettable gaffe for the novice politician, Mr. Jackson
kissed a baby in Daytona Beach and then dangled the child from a hotel
balcony.

"My bad," Mr. Jackson later said.

House Republicans expressed muted support for Mr. Jackson's election
bid, with Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert saying that he knew of
nothing in the singer's past that would prevent him from serving ably in
the House.

"Michael Jackson has done a lot of positive things, especially in the
field of mentoring," Mr. Hastert said.

According to Buddy Schlantz, a veteran talent agent and observer of the
entertainment scene, transforming himself from King of Pop to
congressman from Florida could prove to be a shrewd image makeover for the
tabloid-ready Mr. Jackson.

"In the outside world, Michael Jackson seems weird and maybe even a
freak," Mr. Schlantz said. "But once he's in Congress he'll seem perfectly
normal."

Elsewhere, in Stockholm, Sweden, the Nobel Prize in chemistry was
awarded to Barry Bonds.

www.borowitzreport.com