How the hell do you cultivate a social life in a strange town?

[XemaSab]

I've been here 5 months, and I still don't have any friends outside work.

I come home in the evenings and I am just bored. My weekends are boring. I have almost totally lost interest in doing things alone because I don't want to go places and do things alone.

Everything I can think of to do involves hanging out with little old ladies, which sounds boring as shit. Every town I have lived in since I graduated college in 2003 I have made 1 or 2 friends outside work, and that's not an adequate social life at all.

What's more, I am working on a REALLY boring project at work, and so I feel just totally bored out of my skull 24/7. I've been working on it for three weeks, and it's going very slowly because my brain can't handle the 100% lack of anything interesting.

So what say ye, DU?

[bridgit]

1. well, Santa Barbara is set in a beautiful region, but can be noticably...

stratified 'social-wise', hey! jam over to Isla Vista and staple some flyer to a telephone pole just kidding...maybe 5 months is too soon to crack that egg, maybe in 6 or 7...psst *whispers in low tones* there can be a very snooty side to the most beautiful regions as well

;) :thumbsup:

[trof]

2. Join the local Dem club, or

see if there's a Friends of the Library group.
I've met some fun and interesting people in both.
Also, must be some kind of environmental organization(s)?
I've found several like-minded folks in ours.

[Nikia]

3. If I wanted to make friends

I would take a community college class, join a club/church, or hang out at interesting local businesses. I'm sort of anti social now though.

[Nikia]

4. Another thing, little old ladies can help you meet people

They might introduce you to their children/nieces/nephews/or other young people they know. They might also know the community quite well and give you tips on places that you would want to hang out or clubs or activites that you might want to join.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

5. Depends on the old ladies, actually.

My grandma and her sisters would have given you a good time. They totally reminded me of the Ya Yas. They were wild when they were young, and tried to reclaim that as seniors. They were awesome.
But I see what you mean. If I didn't have Skip, I'd be bored and alone online, probably. I do have some good single girlfriends, but they're way immature and hanging out with them for a whole weekend would probably make me insane.
Duckie

[BarenakedLady]

6. Don't ask me

I've lived here for 9 years and I still don't have a social life. It may be because I am pretty anti-social though. :shrug:

[yewberry]

7. There's a 'Drinking Liberally' chapter in Santa Barbara.

I don't know how active they are, but it might be worth a look.

www.drinkingliberally.org

[eyesroll]

8. If you're still in the city listed in your profile...

http://www.drinkingliberally.org/locations.html#santabarbara

If not, there's probably a Drinking Liberally near you. If not, start one -- I did (I'm one of the Milwaukee hosts). It's not hard. I've met tons of people that way.


On edit: What tofunut said. I really should read replies before replying myself.

[Lex]

9. My local library has a whole bulletin board of city-wide group activities

from bookclubs to bicycling or hiking clubs to pick-up ballgames for regular folks. All you have to do is show up at the designated place to participate (and meet people).

Also look for the local independent news weekly that tells you where local bands and theater is happening and just go. You'll meet people there too.

:shrug:

[Ellen Forradalom]

10. Excuse me?

What am I, bagel-making chopped liver?

[XemaSab]

11. 5 in the morning when you haven't slept all night

Is a good time for hyperbole. :D

You're my friend, and I go to Drinking Liberally every week. :D

ps Don't go to Coffee Cat and order a 3x 10oz mocha at 4 in the afternoon. You want a dark night of the soul staying up all night yet being completely exhausted at the same time, that'll hook it right up. But they're OH SO GOOD. :cry:

[bridgit]

14. pft, there it is...

:)

[NV Whino]

12. As has been mentioned...

classes at the local community college, but also look up your local chapter of the Sierra Club or Audubon Society.

[EFerrari]

13. Well, talking to people works. When we moved here,

I chatted up the neighbors, the merchants, even the beat cops. It feels good to know your neighborhood. And that can lead to other stuff, like a social life. :)

[Fluffdaddy]

15. Social life in a strange town for guys.........Drinking to much

I'm not very Social "never has been' so it was real hard for me when my job moved to a mid-size town in mid-America and asked me to come with. I was there for 7 months and had no friends outside work. And they really wasn't friends just co-workers who never asked me to their homes or events. I found myself spending way to much time at bars just to be around other people. I FORCED myself to stopped spending so much time with internet/gaming friends and go out and be social and meet real people. I joined environmental and Political groups. I even tried going to church a few times, but I'm really not a religious person so that never panned out. I finally lucked out when I joined a Sci-Fi book/movie club and met a girl that I hit it off with. As usually happens all her friends became my friend, which was great because they was all left leaning and Sci-Fi fans. But before that I had no real Social life for almost 10 months

Step away from the computer, internet friends are nice but "Real" friends are better

Good Luck

[Nikia]

16. My husband has met a number of people here at the bar

This morning, I was extremely upset at him and his friends because he drank way too much and did some rather stupid things. Luckily, he agrees that drinking too much last night was not good. Many of those new friends, though, seem to have it as part of their lifestyle.

[begin_within]

17. C H U R C H...... Churches are absolute hotbeds of social activity.