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kind of situation I would most definitely not. No way. I'd talk to her, rationally (of course, an ultimatum kind of rules that out), but when it comes to something that is essentially an activity related to who I am, an activity through which -- to one extent or another -- I may even define myself....no freakin' way.
My wife and I had a few major difficulties while we were together but she knew how important certain 'dangerous' activities were to me (and, ultimately, to my career) and, as chronic a controller and emasculator as she could be, the one part of my life that she never issued an ultimatum or edict against was my involvement in higher-risk activity (and, no, not because I had a large life insurance policy, though she sometimes joked about taking one out on me). She knew those things were important to me and I have to credit her for respecting that.
I have -- and will again -- given up a lot for love, but some things are not only not in the running for that but are non-negotiable...you may not climb all the time, or climb the most severe routes, but climbing is still very much a part of you and to ask (demand, actually) you to give it up is to demand that you deny part of yourself, and you're no good to yourself or to anyone else if you begin turning your back on parts of your self.
I learned early in life the truth of this, through the example of my uncle as related by my mother: he was (still is) a brilliant engineer and in the '60s received an offer from Boeing to come to the US to work on what became the 747 program...it would have ramped his life and career into overdrive, but his (now ex-) wife, who was in truth a real weirdo, not only was against the idea but bullied him into submission and relegated him to working for decades far below his capabilities for a local power board (when he divorced her he finally moved overseas and secured a far more challenging and rewarding job). He should never have let her stand in his way...sure, he was not the only one involved, but it's not like she exactly gave any thought to his needs with her selfish and irrational insistence that he remain a local yokel. My brother and his first wife had a similar story, wherein she wanted him to do nothing more than stay home and watch TV -- a desire she won because she was a very dominant and controlling personality (and she hated him going anywhere without her or doing anything with anyone else, including me or my parents...she was inordinately possessive) -- and since the dissolution of their marriage my brother's blossomed and become a high-profile player in two major and disparate fields of endeavour. Compromise is necessary in a relationship, but sometimes compromise is harmful not only to the compromiser but ultimately (and, if you think about it, almost inevitably) detrimental to both participants in the relationship: the tough part is that it can be really hard, sometimes, to know where that line is.
I don't mean to criticize your wife, but that ultimatum is the key. It's unacceptable. It rules out discussion (the most obvious on your part being that crossing the street or pulling out into traffic is also far too dangerous for a married parent to be doing, and that activities that insurance companies consider 'higher risk' are not necessarily actually dangerous for someone who knows what they're doing and who respects, in this case, the mountain and its weather) and is not even remotely the kind of thing that suggests an equitable partnership. She knew you maintained an interest in climbing, even though you weren't actively engaged in it these past ten years, and can hardly feign surprise even if she never seriously thought you'd go back to it. The point being that she long knew of your interest in climbing and that she is only now forbidding it, now that it's looking like a tangible reality, is not right. In my opinion, pretty much anything that starts with "if you love me" is a very bad sign.
Do it, please. Shasta, and your sister await. And your sister's undoubtedly as much or more a part of why you're considering doing this as is the mountain (my brother missed assisting me with a dive expedition to the center of marine biodiversity, home of the best diving on the planet, because his b-word of a wife threw a tizzy, and I've never forgotten it).
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