List things you learned "the hard way"

[begin_within]

I'll start with 3 things I learned the hard way.

1. You can't make someone want you. Either they want you or they don't. And they decide this within the first couple of minutes after meeting you. If they don't, there is nothing you can ever do to change that.

2. If you bake a cake, you must wait until it is stone cold before applying any frosting.

3. Never flush baby wipes down the toilet, unless you don't mind paying an $1,800 plumbing bill later on.

[Deja Q]

1. Hmmm

1. A good person is not easy to find
2. They may be good, but if the outer personality isn't compatible it apparently makes no difference
3. Hard work gets you nowhere. It's not what you know but how you know and how you spin things to make them think you know something.

[XNASA]

2. Most Led Zepplin songs......

...were written, and therefore can only be played, in alternate tunings.

[Bassic]

6. I hate it when that happens. nt

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. You really CAN get pregnant the first time...

One should never let the end of an electrical wire come in contact with one's flesh when they're grounding a stereo system.

Popsicles melt when put in back packs... (Well, that one wasn't me, but it was one of my children :eyes: )

[taterguy]

4. A toga, lots of beer, a bicycle + sidewalk = Emergency room visit

[Road Scholar]

5. Don't ever fry bacon with your shirt off. Don't try to hold the cat when

you turn on the hair dryer. Don't let your mother comb your hair with a stiff bristle brush when she's pissed with your dad.
That's about all I can come up with right now.:rofl:

[begin_within]

10. The cat one is hilarious. I would also add,

If you want the cat to remain in the room, never shake open a plastic grocery bag.

[Road Scholar]

11. LOL Good one! eom

[petronius]

16. Does that 'shirt off' rule apply to pants as well?

I may be cooking some bacon this weekend, so that could be useful info for me...

[Road Scholar]

18. Why don't you try it and report back. You know, like an experiment.

:shrug: LOL

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. Don't lock your elbow when you throw a punch.

[trackfan]

8. 1. That "just being myself" in a job interview doesn't work.

2. That professional __________s don't know much more about ________ than you do.


3 (somwhat related to 2). There is no "they". I.e. there's not competent group of people somewhere who actually knows more of what is going on about any given question, big or small, than you do. There's no "parents"; we're all dumb, lost kids.

[treestar]

9. 1 - you can't do anything deliberate but it is not impossible for them

to change their mind upon getting to know you better over time.

[jobycom]

12. People you care about can look you in the eye and lie to you.

You should not try to appear smarter than the person interviewing you for a job.

You should not eat all you can eat.

[Road Scholar]

13. You can't do something "again". Once you do something, it's pretty

much gone. You can do something very similar, however.:shrug: :rofl:

[mad-mommy]

14. my parents were right...

When you're young, you resent advice from experienced people, like parents, older siblings, etc. But experienced people are usually right, and can save you a lot of heartache & money.

[Ptah]

15. 3

1. Fire is hot.

2. Your tongue will stick to the iron rim of that wagon wheel.

3. People die.

[datasuspect]

17. 3 things

1. don't write a check with your mouth that your ass cannot cash

2. the loudest motherfucker is usually the most scared. the quietest one is usually the toughest and never enters into "i'm gonna beat your ass!" statements.

3. wait til everyone else gets a piece, and THEN take one.

[qnr]

19. Never upend a bag of salt & vinegar potato chips to get the crumbs n/t

[Road Scholar]

20. LOL. I can picture that one in high def. LOL Good one. eom

[YankeyMCC]

21. A full bottle of wine is NOT a signle serving

and a metal canister smoker can not be insulated by wrapping fiberglass insulation around it.

[begin_within]

22. Kittens have claws that are like needles. Also, if you

are lying on a bed with a blanket over you, your cat considers you to be a springboard.

[Taverner]

23. The infant male penis has a trajectory far beyond what is expected

Always cover when changing the infant male...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

24. HAhaha!

Sounds like someone got sprinkled...

Been there, done that! :rofl:

[Taverner]

26. Sprinkled??? Try sprayed!

Infant females are easier in that all you need are multiple towels under the critter...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

30. Boys smile like cherubs while they're baptising you...

[begin_within]

25. And, wait until after the baby farts to apply the baby powder.

[momophile]

27. here are three painful lessons

don't stand behind a person who is about to bat and mock them

don't try to cut an M&M in half while holding it

don't try to grab a bumper of a moving truck while you are on a bike

[miss_american_pie]

28. 1. Pack extra diapers

2. Trust your instincts
3. High heels + icy parking lot = very bad idea

[struggle4progress]

29. The radiator is not the same as the gas tank on this tractor.

(2) Mules do kick.
(3) Escaped piglets can run fast.

[Catbird]

31. The burners on an electric stove heat up VERY quickly.

I learned this in an unrepeated childhood investigation. It may not be instantaneous, but it's close enough.

[begin_within]

34. And, they stay hot a long time after you turn them off.

[otherlander]

32. Plaster walls are hard.

[cobalt1999]

33. 1. When hiking in the woods, always carry a compass.

Especially if it becomes extremely overcast and you don't even have the sun for a reference point anymore.

2. The second learning came on the same day as #1. Bears don't like it if you accidentally get near their cubs.

3. Again, the same day...not all drug smugglers are bad...some will even help rescue you and give you a beer while you sit on a bale of marijuana in the back of a pickup.

[lildreamer316]

36. I officially want to be your friend...

so I can have some of that luck...the last one, I mean.
Hee hee.

[Broken_Hero]

35. Funny, I just told this story earlier today...

Red jelly fish...have stingers, and you should NEVER handle them...here is how I found out the hard way...

When I was 10yrs old, my father and I would drop crab/shrimp pots out in the bay...and every day we would go out and pull them up...and every day, my dad would say...

"Son, where are your gloves? Don't I always tell you to where your gloves?"

"Sorry dad, I forgot, I will remember next time"

"Okay son"

This exchange goes on for weeks, probably over a month...and I never remember to wear my gloves...so, one day...

We are going out to the bouy, and there is a red jelly fish wrapped all over the damn thing...and my dad says...

"Hey son, grab that jelly fish, I want to take a close look at it"

"Okay Dad, no prob!"(no gloves still)

So, I pull the jelly fish out of the water, and show it to my dad, and he says..

"Son, move it around a little bit, toss it from hand to hand, I thought I saw something"

"Okay dad" I exchange the jelly fish from hand to hand for a few seconds and then...

"Okay son, thats enough, throw it overboard"

I throw the jelly fish over, and start pulling up the line....after we empty the traps, and head back to the dock....my hands....start, burning, and itching, and burning some more!!! By the time, I get off the skiff, I'm about in tears...and my dad says...

"Will you remember to wear gloves from now on son?"

"Yes, dad, lessoned learned"


:)

[ruiner4u]

42. Evil dad

Sounds almost like mine when he taught me that a match can burn twice..

evil dad = best memories

[Broken_Hero]

43. True...

another hard painful lesson, was the first time I shot a 30.06....it had a scope on it, and I was aiming at a pop can, and I had the scope right in my eye socket basically...my dad told me to not have it that close, but I didn't listen...so, he let me shoot...and whammo, a nice little "circle" bruise around my eyeball...:)

[ruiner4u]

45. hahahah...bet ya never did that again...

[Broken_Hero]

46. nope, never did...:)

Some lessons just have to be learned the hard way....and I harbor no ill feelings either...:)

[Guy Fawkes]

37. Three things I've learned the hard way.

1. People won't miss you when your gone

2. "Open Minded" people never have open minds

3. 1/2'' PVC pipe is neither 1/2'' in diameter nor good enough to hold your sculpture together- no matter how awesome your idea may be.

(Bonus: 4. Even considering the first three, never give up)

[Initech]

38. Everyone has their limits when it comes to drinking.

I went to Colorado two weeks ago and I did waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than test my limits. I swear I had a two day hangover after my trip.

[ZombieNixon]

39. 3 before bed...

1. Never laugh while eating salt and vinegar chips and drinking citrus-flavored soda.
2. Emus do not distinguish between "hand" and "food."
3. That idiotic kid in your gym class actually might very well deal cocaine in the park at one in the morning.

[speedoo]

40. 1. If you buy something that's on sale because you think you might need it

... you won't.

2. Old car engines or transmissions always blow out right after you spend a couple grand on brakes and exhaust work.

3. Women are impossible to figure out.

[RetroLounge]

41. Only 3? Okay, I can limit them...

1) Drinking is not a problem unless it becomes a solution. By then it's too late, you're already fucked.
1a) If you are wondering if you drink too much, then you do.
1b) Homelessness and Freedom are NOT the same thing.

2) Eating a bag of Shrooms (for the first time) and then driving your 1965 Impala SS at night in a rain storm is not the best idea.
2a) In addition, shrooms and dancefloor strobe lights are also NOT a good idea...
2b) Shrooms go well on a good filet mignon, but always share with the waiter.

3) The fantasy of the 3-way with your wife and another woman should ALWAYS remain a fantasy, and NEVER think it won't be a disaster.
3a) Don't let your dick (or whatever genitlia you have) think for you.
3b) You can be parents and STILL be a hot couple, but you have to work at it.

RL

[Zavulon]

44. Wow, this list could go on and on, but I'll keep it to three...

1.) Being a member of a rod and gun club and turning in a fellow skeet shooter for drinking at least three martinis before a tournament round can result in lots and lots of sugar poured into the gas tank of your car.

2.) Falling in love with a professional sports team and following it for years can be awfully painful when the team moves to Washington and is renamed "Nationals."

3.) Trying to do a favor for your niece by taking a tag and label of of her little stuffed animal is an unbelievably shitty idea which will invariably blow up in your face.