Do opposites attract, for you?

[LaraMN]

My husband is definitely quite opposite to me, in more regards than not. He's not particularly social (except in business and sales settings), he's not very liberal-leaning, his musical tastes sometimes run quite different than mine, he's a strict parent- I'm more laid-back. His personality, though, is very laid back and level; and I'm quite passionate and volatile. He has strong religious beliefs; I have none. He has no problem with confrontation; I hate it. He'd enjoy arts-related activities with me, but HATES politics. He's dyslexic and struggles with writing but excels at math and spatial tasks; I love to write, but couldn't reconstruct a cereal box.

How about you? If you have/had a SO, were they very different from the kind of person you are, or were you "peas in a pod"?

[NewWaveChick1981]

1. Well...

My first boyfriend was an opposite except where politics and religion were concerned, but we definitely attracted. My husband is more similar in personality to me, but he's more centrist than I am (I'm ultra-liberal). Some of his viewpoints concerning gun control, illegal immigration, and a few other things are polar opposite of mine. I'm a lot more tolerant than he is, and he's semi-religious (a non-churchgoing Methodist) as opposed to my agnosticism. As for social potential, my husband could be a hermit and love it---in fact, he's pretty antisocial. He wasn't that way when I met him, but he has suffered from depression for a few years and it's turned him into a loner. I'm the laid-back, down-to-earth one who is also very passionate, and he's volatile yet wishy-washy.

Truth be told, I'm very attracted to alpha males. ;) He's not an alpha male, but I love him anyway. :P

[billyskank]

3. I'm an omega male

[NewWaveChick1981]

5. Hey, I didn't say I WASN'T attracted to other guys...

Omegas are fine too! :*

[miss_american_pie]

2. If you take out one line

He has no problem with confrontation; I hate it. He'd enjoy arts-related activities with me, but HATES politics.

I could have written your post. :hi:

[SoyCat]

4. Yes and no. Physically, I like men who have dark hair,eyes and skin.--

Those are opposite to me (blonde, light skin, and amber eyes). All other traits have to match up with mine. My husband and I are totally the same on politics and religion and really almost all other opinions. People usually freak out when they realize how much we're alike. He and I could never be with someone who believes differently about the big two: Politics and religion. That's one reason why we feel so lucky to have each other.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

6. I've never had an SO, but the idea of loving a neocon is beyond twisted.

IMHO, that is. How could I love a man who saw me as even half a step lower than him on the totem pole of life? How could I love a man whom I knew to be racist, or homphobic, or xenophobic, or a rabid fundie at heart? How could I love a man who didn't love music and literature to at least some degree? How could I love someone who didn't care at all about politics, who didn't vote, who was in the least way vacuous and empty-headed?

I'm a "mannish" woman in many respects. I want to love a man who isn't afraid of being a "womanish" man. I want a man who breaks traditional gender roles. I want a man who knows how to cook and clean, yes, and do all those "manly" things, too--mow the lawn, paint, whatever. I want a man who will let me mow the lawn or paint the house, just for fuck's sake, but knows that I can cook some mediocre things and clean. I want a man who isn't really a man as much as he is a human, just as I'm not so much a woman as I am a human.

Too many men don't mind allowing women to act "manly," but despise men who act "womanly." I want a man who doesn't give a damn what he does or what I do in respect to "manly" and "womanly" things. We're all people. It doesn't matter. I can cook as well as I can mow the lawn.

[cobalt1999]

7. sometimes.

My wife and I are fairly similar (although she does believe in god). Politically, she is more liberal on some things, I'm more liberal on others.

In the past I've been in relationships with polar opposites (that can be fun as long as there is some ground rules), as well as one person who was almost a clone of me (that one was actually kind of boring).

[Midlodemocrat]

8. Oh, most definitely.

Mr. Midlo is very, very organized and EXTREMELY neat; me, I have to work at it to stay on top of things and keep the house neat. I try to keep up with the house because I like the idea of order and of course, cleanliness, but with life the way it is, sometimes it falls by the wayside.

I'm SUPER anal about my kids. Clean, nice clothes. Clean sheets, that sort of thing. I want them to taste all that life has to offer, he's more practical.

He's also more religious than I am, but interestingly, since he had his surgery back in June, he's become MORE liberal politically, and more spiritual. I like to think that all the stuff I have been teaching him about Bushco et al, finally sank in when he had his health 'epiphany'.

Funny thing, though. When I was younger I always was attracted to the 'bad boy', and I married the polar opposite. I guess deep done I knew that the 'bad boy' wouldn't make me happy.

I'm far more social than he is. He has to socialize for work a lot, so when he's home, he wants to hang with us more than go out. And, frankly, with the two teenagers, we don't much opportunity to go out other than to drive them places.

Funny how you fall in love with the person and not the distinctly different aspects of the personality, isn't it?

:hi: :loveya:

[crim son]

9. Physically I prefer my opposite.

And in terms of personality, I married my opposite. Now I know better.

[Deja Q]

10. There need to be some similarities.

Not always in interests (tohugh having a few helps!), but dedication and loyalty to each other is important if something lasting is a goal.

Goals are good. :)

[tigereye]

11. I'm more social than he is

he's very tall, I'm very short.
He can draw really well, I can't
I have light hair, he has dark hair
He's more protective of the kid, I'm mroe relaxed

but otherwise we are very alike politically, musically and ethically.

[greatauntoftriplets]

12. Though we grew up in very different environments --

-- me a northern city girl, he mostly on a cattle ranch and in the oilfields of Oklahoma -- we have been amazingly like-minded from the start. It was only a few months before we'd respond to something in exactly the same way.

His talents tend to be different from mine -- I excel at the literary stuff (and he enjoys that as well), but he is the math whiz that I never ever will be.

[skygazer]

13. In some ways yes, in some no

We both love the outdoors, are more happy at home than at a social function, would rather camp than visit a city and we have similar tastes in music and politics.

We are different in that I'm more cerebral, I like to think deeply on subjects and he's not so analytical. I'm more serious, he's more playful (which works nicely as I make him think and he makes me laugh). We think similarly about politics with some differences, same with religion.

I think you have to have enough differences to make the other person stay interesting but you have to have some basic agreement on some fundamentals - which I think are different for everyone.

[Broken_Hero]

14. yes, and no

With relationships, I believe there has to be a middle ground, and area where you share common beliefs, or hobbies. With my wife, we are both lib's, and share a lot of common political views, and have a very common out look on life.

We do differ a lot though when it comes to some hobbies/interests, but we understand each others interests, and support one another. I'm a big collecetor of comic book related items, my wife is also a huge collector of anything "turtle" related, so we both have understandings of one anothers hobbies/interests. There are other little things that we vary one, but most of the time, we understand each other....

We do differ greatly on some issues though...to be honest the Debra Lafave issue is a definate split in our household, also Flea Marketing...I can't really stand going to flea markets, but she loves them to death...but, back to point...we have a lot more in common, than not...so, for us, I would say its a 70/30 mix...70% on common ground, 30% opposites. But, I have seen couples who are completely opposite who don't last long, and I have seen couples last forever, who are complete opposites...its a case by case situation...with a lot of variables.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

15. Physically, I almost always date my opposite.

I'm short (5'1") and petite, basically a thin/slightly muscular build. I almost always date tall, thin people. Seriously, I've only dated one person that was my height. Everyone else has been between 5'6" and 5'9".

Interest-wise, I tend to date people that will go to something geeky like a poetry reading, follow it up with a trip to the bar. Also, they also have to be fine with hiking one day, but is up for city adventures, as well.

As for personality, mine is all over the fucking map, depending on the day, so that's a total crapshoot.

[RedCloud]

16. I work better with peas in a pod.

We may have things in common:

such as

Physical entertainment
No smoking zones
Oh the list is almost endless...

[RetroLounge]

17. Turns out we had a lot more in common than I thought...

:shrug:

RL