Damn, am I glad I missed the Wedding from Hell...

[NewWaveChick1981]

:yoiks: Hubby and I were both down with the flu on Sat. the 14th, when hubby's niece was getting married. This Bridezilla bitch of a niece insisted everyone (including her elderly grandparents and great aunts and uncles) drive to the NC coast for her wedding, even though the vast majority of her relatives and friends live west of Raleigh. For us, it would have been a four-hour drive one way, and for hubby's parents (her grandparents), it was three and a half hours.

Hubby's dad said the whole thing was way overdone. They brought us back some wedding cake and some groom's cake, and both were so rich that they were nasty and disgusting. (And I normally love rich desserts, especially buttercream frosting on cakes!) I took one bite of the cake and said, "I'm not wasting my carbs on this crap." :puke: The cake screamed, "We've got money, so let's waste it!" Apparently every guest (and there were 300 of them) got a metal beach bucket filled with stuff like personalized Jones Soda bottles with the bride & groom pictured on them. :yoiks: And there was a lot of other crap too. Each of those buckets and contents HAD to have cost no less than $20 each.

The wedding writeup was a full page in the local newspaper and only half a page in the large city where she lives. :P Just to demonstrate how excessive the past year has been, this is the actual listing of the festivities over the past year, actually printed in the newspaper in the wedding announcement (edited to protect the identities of the guilty):

Reception/Parties

Immediately following the ceremony, a reception was given by the bride’s parents at the (location)

Greeters were Dr. and Mrs. (somebody) and Mr. and Mrs. (somebody else).

On May 13, a stock the bar party was given by friends of the bride and groom at the home of (some guy they knew) and at the (hoidy toidy) Club

On May 20, a summer supper was given by friends of the groom and his parents at their home in (a small podunk town).

On Aug. 19, a dinner dance was given by friends of the bride and her parents at the (small town) Country Club.

On Aug. 26, a bridal shower was given by co-workers of the bride at (some) restaurant in (small town).

On Sept. 15, a bachelorette weekend and shower was given by the bridesmaids in Washington, D.C.

On Sept. 29, a bachelor weekend was hosted by the groomsmen in (some) Beach.

On Oct. 12, a soundside supper for the couple’s families and the wedding party was held at the (summer) home of the bride’s parents in (some) Beach.

On Oct. 13, a bridesmaids’ luncheon was given by the maid of honor at the (hoidy toidy) Club.

On Oct. 13, a rehearsal dinner was given by the groom’s parents at the Aquarium at (the beach).

---

Oh, and not on the list above was the engagement party they had back in November 2005, and then there was a "post-engagement party" hosted by another friend in December 2005. :eyes: I'm so freakin' glad this whole thing is over and that we didn't have to suffer too badly. :P

[wildhorses]

1. well, you know its not every day a girl gets married--

:rofl:


my first wedding was excessive but NOT to that degree:eyes:

second trip to the JOP

either way I was definitely married

[NewWaveChick1981]

3. I fully expect this marriage to last a year----or less...

:rofl: They'd have been better off at the JOP! :yoiks:

[wildhorses]

7. that is how long my first one lasted, so that is a good bet--

the JOP lasted 7 years so---there is something to it:shrug:

[NewWaveChick1981]

12. My mother told me if I stayed married less than five years, she'd

prorate the amount she paid for the wedding and make us repay the prorated amount based on how long we had left on the "contract". :rofl: She was joking, of course, but I knew what it cost and did my best to hold down the costs. In fact, Mom was the one who insisted on a big wedding (payback for all the friends whose kids had big weddings :spray:)---I wanted a small ceremony with a small reception with just family and a few friends in attendance.

We've been married 14 years now, so I think Mom won't hold us to the proration agreement any more. :rofl:

[wildhorses]

27. my first wedding Daddy offered me

10 thousand to elope--I should have taken the money and ran away:rofl:

[skygazer]

2. They listed all that shit in the announcement?

Who in the name of all creation would give a rat's ass about where and when a bridesmaid's luncheon was held?

Can anybody say "pretentious?"

[wildhorses]

6. its the south-- "pretentious" is our middle name--

Just so long as you don't get tacky with it:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

8. Yes. Yes, they did.

In addition to who was wearing what taffeta piece of crap with sequins and embroidered birds and beads and...:yoiks: The announcement described the attire of the bride, groom, bride's parents, groom's parents, attendants, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and the children who were in the wedding. :yoiks:

The word "pretentious" just touches the utmost tip of the iceberg. :rofl: The bride threw a huge meltdown temper tantrum when her mother (hubby's sister) suggested they cut the guest list by 50 people...:yoiks: Everything was so over-the-top and overdone that it just makes one want to PUKE...:puke:

[skygazer]

14. Wow. Just wow.

My daughter got married last June. About 150 people on a riverboat on the St. Croix river. Relaxed, fun, beautiful. Great time had by all. My eminently sensible daughter splurged on her dress, the photos and the boat itself. She did her own flowers, the cake was from a supermarket (but nice) and she and the groom paid for the whole thing.

I'm so relieved I didn't have to endure what you ended up not having to endure!

[NewWaveChick1981]

17. I'm so glad your daughter is sensible...

:applause: I tried to be sensible about my wedding too. In fact, the bridesmaids' dresses were actually summer suits we found at Hecht's, and they were on sale for dirt cheap when I spotted them. They were pretty and understated, and they could be worn over and over and over again. We found all the sizes, too!

[RiffRandell]

4. That is so poor.

Glad you missed it.

Shitty favors to boot.

My wedding favors were individual terra cot ta pots planted with fresh rosemary, as rosemary is the herb of love (so I think) and included a scroll telling the history.

Good weddings are hard to find.

[NewWaveChick1981]

9. Yes indeed.

Your rosemary favor sounds so understated yet wonderful! That was a great idea.

[Name removed]

5. Deleted message

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[Lars39]

10. I managed to duck out of one of those this past month, too.

This bride also had a lot of events, including a bridal luncheon the day of the wedding.
The wedding ceremony was at an old tobacco plantation mansion.
The bride had the 'good taste' to dress the guys in plantation apparel, complete with bright red vests. Horrible look and connotations.
The snippet of video someone sent me is flat-out bizarre, confirming the 'more money than sense' adage.

[NewWaveChick1981]

13. OMG.... They must have had the same wedding planner as our niece...

:rofl: How utterly bizarre...

[greatauntoftriplets]

11. I'd love to have read the registry list....

Probably was as pretentious as the social whirl leading up to the nuptials. Anybody taking odds yet on how long the union will last?

[NewWaveChick1981]

15. Yep. It was very bizarre.

They registered at a very trendy, exclusive boutique in a major city in NC, and this boutique is not a chain. They had no online listing, so if anyone needed the listing, they had to have it faxed (no emails because it was too long---where's the logic there???). And since the majority of the people who were going to get wedding gifts for them live elsewhere, and since people like my in-laws don't have access to a fax machine, it was a nightmare. They couldn't have made it a little easier by registering at a chain department store or anything. :eyes:

I give this blessed union less than a year. :rofl:

[greatauntoftriplets]

18. Last wedding I attended....

the bride was registered at Bed, Bath & Beyond. :)

I predict a long and happy marriage for that couple.

[NewWaveChick1981]

20. She's my kind of girl!

:applause: I hope they're together a long time!

[Mrs.Matcom]

25. ugh!

how hateful!!! matcom & I are now boycotting weddings of that size. I won't buy a gift, I give cash! No one ever complains about it being the wrong color or style or size!!

When matcom and I got married (almost 10 yrs ago) we didn't register, we said if you want you can give to the 'moving to the east coast" fund. Some gave other's didn't and frankly we didn't care! We just wanted our friends and family to be there with us on our special day. We had under 30 people in a small banquet room in a hotel with a JP. Had a ball and all our guests did too!

[NewWaveChick1981]

21. Oh, and I meant to tell you earlier that the least expensive item

on her registry was $85, which was a cup and saucer set. Everything else was at least $100+. :grr:

[jmowreader]

16. And on January 5, 2008, the divorce will become final

Who ever heard of someone who threw a wedding like that staying married?

[NewWaveChick1981]

19. Exactly.

:rofl: I think you hit the nail on the head. Hubby's niece was so into planning the wedding that I think that's all she cared about. The groom's a total loser too, so I give it even less time.

[Haole Girl]

22. It sounds like a big waste of money

And, if the bride threw a hissy fit when they suggested cutting the guests list by 50, am I to assume they do not have unlimited resources?

There is one thing worse than spending too much on a wedding. And, that is spending too much money on a funeral. :eyes:

[NewWaveChick1981]

26. It was a huge waste of money, time, and energy...

:yoiks: They actually have a LOT of money, so the issue was space, not cost. They had to go to a bigger reception hall because of the additional people.

And when I die, I want to be cremated and I want everyone to have a fun party. :) I don't want anyone to go to a lot of trouble---I just want them to enjoy themselves. Keep the expensive casket, vault, whatever, away. :)

[Haole Girl]

31. When I die, my hubby has strict instructions to have my..

...body cremated and he may do whatever he wants with the ashes. I told him, if he wants, he can flush them down the toilet! It doesn't matter when a person is dead. And, they can have a gathering and drink and have food and tell funny stores...but, I warned him, if he has a funeral of any kind I will come back and haunt him as a ghost! I think he believes it, too.

[Arugula Latte]

23. Jesus! How excessive can you get?

I cannot BELIEVE how many frickin' pre-wedding events they had. That is soooo ridiculous!

We had a great wedding/reception in the gorgeous backyard of my (new) sister-in-law. We made most of the food (hubbie's a GREAT cook), spent $100 on flowers (there were naturally growing plants everywhere, anyway), and I got a cool consignment dress for maybe $200. We had a judge and a brother-in-law conduct the ceremony, and a string quartet played. Dance music was from tapes we'd compiled.

Anyway, many people told us it was the best and most fun wedding they'd ever attended.

These over-the-top weddings are so unnecessary.

[NewWaveChick1981]

28. You should've heard my husband...

:rofl: Every time an invitation to one of those events came in, he ranted about it for days. He and I both knew it was utterly ridiculous, and we declined each and every invitation. We did plan on going to the wedding, and it was going to be hit-and-run: Arrive just in time for the wedding, stay for an hour at the reception, and get the hell out of there! :rofl: We didn't get that chance, though, gosh darn it. :P

Sounds like you had a lovely low-key wedding. :thumbsup: That's definitely the way to do it!

[zanne]

24. Just because they're getting married...

Do they have to bore people to death? I've been to too many weddings to remember and there is one thing that never changes--they are all basically the same, and they're usually boring to everybody but the bride and groom. Adding insult to injury is having people participate in so many expensive, inconvenient functions before the wedding even happens, as though one day of celebration just isn't enough. Don't mind me; I'm just a romantic at heart.

[NewWaveChick1981]

29. I think you have the right idea.

:hug: :hi: Too many people get caught up in the wedding bullshit that can take over their lives, and it's not necessary. And yes, they can be VERY boring to those not getting married! :rofl:

[bumblebee1]

30. Wow!

We went to two weddings last year and one this year. My nephew's bride had two bridal showers thrown for her. One was in her hometown and two combined in her new town. They were registered at Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond. For the shower, I got her a $25 gift card from Bed, Bath & Beyond. That way, they can get what they need/want. My nephew and his wife lived together for 5 yrs before they married. For a wedding gift, they got the remainder of the money in a room account card for their honeymoon. I didn't want to spend more money on my nephew than we did my husband's nephew.

My husbands nephew was married the month before my nephew. There was no bridal shower that I knew of. They were registered at Linens N Things.

This years wedding was my husband's former office manager. She had been married before; this was her husband's first marriage. Since she and her husband enjoy wine, my husband got them a wine cooler shaped like a small refrigerator. I want to get the same one for Christmas. Their reception was held at the Elks Club. The office manager's father-in-law is a member.

[NewWaveChick1981]

36. Geez, that's much better than the three-ring-circus that was our

niece's wedding... :)

[hickman]

32. I watch Bridzilla. It's my only reality shame.

None of the brides are having a good time. :wtf: All that money wasted. I did love that bride that told her bridesmaids "nothing hangin, nothing swinging, none of that."

edit for forgot spellcheck. zip

[NewWaveChick1981]

37. You'd probably have loved this wedding, then.

:rofl:

[XemaSab]

33. The paper misspelled Swarovski in the article

:hide:

[XemaSab]

34. Jesus H Christ

this has when she was fuckin' PRESENTED.

kill me now.

[NewWaveChick1981]

35. Oh, so you figured it out, eh?

:rofl: Yep, I declined to put the whole article up, but yes, she was "presented" as a debutante. :P

[MorningGlow]

38. I have a theory

I strongly suspect that the bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage. I'm sure it's not 100 percent accurate by a long shot, but I'm basing it on the fact that people who have COMMON SENSE--enough to forge a good marriage--don't have the patience for nonsense like a three-ring-circus wedding.

For the record, Mr. MorningGlow and I were married on the deck of our home on a small lake (and no, there was no money involved--just a 100-year-old 1100 sq. ft. wreck of a place that we prettied up), then our 100 or so guests retired to a small restaurant at a local golf course for the reception. We would have had the reception at our house as well if there were any room--as it was, when folks piled into our kitchen/dining area on the lower level you could barely lift the cheese and cracker to your lips, it was so crowded. We blew what money my parents insisted on foisting on the wedding on flowers, food, and an open bar--because I love flowers and because the food and open bar makes for happy reception-goers. Favors were tumbled crystals painted with runes and a hand-stenciled pot of ivy on each table (painted, stenciled, and planted by yours truly).

And we just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary three weeks ago.

[AngryAmish]

39. I recently got engaged

I dread the ceremony. I want to run away to mexico. (Soon-to-be Mrs.AA is already getting pressure from friends to register at Williams and Sonoma, Barneys and Tiffany.)