"To ensure quality, all Kids’ Burgers are cooked to well done."

[eyesroll]

This, from a menu at a local chain.

Um...huh?

To ensure that the kiddos won't get a nasty bug from undercooked meat (even though these days it's usually the poorly-handled lettuce, handled with raw-meat hands, on top of the safely cooked meat that's the problem) and the parents won't sue? Perhaps.

But quality?

Am I missing something?

"For your convenience, we've introduced a monthly charge and reduced our office hours."

[LeftyMom]

1. Translation:

There's shit in our meat. Our lawyers say to cook it black and decrease our liability.

[marzipanni]

2. Cooking won't help crappy meat

<snip>
(from May 7, 2004 article)

The USDA is accepting public comments on their new mad cow regulations (http://www.fsis.usda.gov/OA/news/2004/bseregs.htm) now up until May 7, 2004. They have received over 2600 comments so far, and the meat industry is madder than the cows. They estimate doing things like excluding downer-cow brains from hamburgers will cost them $150 million a year. But that's a drop in the bucket for them.
http://www.organicconsumers.org/madcow/usdapubcom0304.cfm

[tigereye]

3. burned to a crisp?

my kid likes his medium well....