Why Men are Rarely Published in Dear Abby

[ohiosmith]

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what
could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my wife
has been cheating on me.

The usual signs... phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife
has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their
names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always
walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has
gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi? I
once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went
berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I
checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down
I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and
I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motor cycle next to the
garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole
street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my
Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be
leaking a little oil.

I can fix it myself, but since the bike is still under warranty should I take it back to the dealer?

[cleveramerican]

1. Dear Abby

"dear abby,dear abby
my fountain pen leaks
my wife hollers at me
and the kids are all freaks
every side I get up on
is the wrong side of bed
if it weren't so expensive
I'd wish I were dead"

The Great John Prine