Our young friend is turning 16. We need advice.

[Missy Vixen]

Hello everyone,

Our young friend is turning 16. To know her is to love her. We are thrilled to say that she actually invited us to her birthday party. Here's the problem: We can't go. DH has a work function at a resort that we are required to attend that weekend. The resort is a three-hour trip back and forth, so it's not going to work to come home, go to the party, and go back.

Here's our dilemma. We'd like to ask her parents if we can take her out to dinner with us next week instead. They are notoriously funny about gifts, etcetera. ("You don't have to buy stuff for our kids, we're just glad you're here," that kind of thing.) I understand. I also understand that a 16th birthday comes once, and we'd like to spend some time with a young woman that is the daughter we pray we'd have, if we were so lucky.

Parents of teens on DU, is dinner a good thing, or is there another activity we could take her to or treat her to that she may like better? Bear in mind her family is Republican and Christian, so those rock concert tickets just aren't going to fly...

Thank you for any help you might be able to offer.
Julie

[Whoa_Nelly]

1. Dinner sounds like a fine idea!

You get to spend quality time with her and let her know she is a treasured freind in your lives.

[Shakespeare]

2. My husband's dad did that for all his kids. It's great for a couple of reasons.

It gives you quality time out with the young person, in a setting where you're not competing with friends/relatives/etc. for face time.

It makes the person feel special.

It gives the person experience in a very adult setting, and reinforces things like good etiquette and builds confidence.

I think it's a wonderful idea.

[Richard Steele]

3. At 16, she's old enough to start learning that "it's not about the DATE"

At the ripe old age of 37, I have so many birthdays, anniversaries
and etc. to deal with that hardly one in three gets "celebrated"
on the actual day it happened.

Not only have I been foolish enough to make friends with people,
I made friends with the kind of people who have JOBS, and OBLIGATIONS,
and "personal lives".

We get together WHEN WE CAN, and we enjoy it!

In the long run, what's more important: some particular DATE
in the top corner of yer cellphone screen, or the time you get
to spend with the people you care about?

I think a nice DINNER would be very cool. At 16, she's just dipping
her toe into ADULTHOOD, and a nice dinner is something we adults do.

"Sitting still", "talking quietly", "waiting patiently"...
Yeah, DINNER has it all!(this last sentence is :sarcasm:; I'm sure she'll
actually LOVE a nice dinner somewhere nice.)

[hickman]

4. Take her and a friend.

16yr old girls are all about their friends. Take her alone and she'll be nice and respectful. Let one of her friends come along and you'll get conversation.

[radwriter0555]

5. I totally agree! My daughter LOVES having a pal along with and it's

much more fun!

two, two, TWO girls in one!

And let her pick it, if she wants to, and if there are options in your area.

[hickman]

7. You know of what I speak!

One 16 alone will just be pleasant. With a friend she will start talking. Their friends are their support, and they feel safe. The key is just to let them talk.

[marzipanni]

6. Dinner would be cool!

When I turned 16, almost forty years ago, my dad worked in Boston and my mom and I had a date to meet him for a birthday dinner at the top of the Prudential Center tower which was only two years old and the tallest building. As my mom and I walked along a walkway about to enter the tower, two cute older teenage guys, perhaps young college students, said "Hello Ladies! We would love it if you would accompany us to dinner!" I was wearing my 'witch shoes', black shoes with 2 1/2" heels and a wide strap, and had long blond hair (I aimed for the beatnik look). I felt excited, and grownup, and flattered by the attention of the young men. My mom and I laughed, and she said, "Sorry we already have a date!" I had a good time with my parents, made all the better by the little extra invitation on our way there.

[Skittles]

8. dinner is a lovely idea

go for it

[davidinalameda]

9. how about dinner and a tattoo

make it discrete and the parents will never know