The first sentence from my novel:

[Rabrrrrrr]

Of course, not a real first sentence, just me letting words flow out of pure creativeness without any barriers imposed on my mind from within, just to get the creative juices truly going, and to open myself up to let every idea have a voice, even if only momentarily.

here it is:

By Thanksgiving, the wealth of nations was in disrepute and an avuncular pedestrian was seen streaming gothic radiance amid the shallots when suddenly, precisely 5.4 seconds after the noon whistle announced to the town that it was time for lunch, a largish immaculate high-tension dental technician landed in the corn field south of town and blew out the entire Rotary Society’s karaoke lunch.

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. Very nice....

Here is mine:

"Shut up..."


Honest to Gosh it is. :hi:

[buddhamama]

2. i am intrigued

can't wait to read the novel.

on second thought, i think i'll wait for the movie version.

[MissMillie]

3. "It was a dark and stormy night"

ok.... that was a Snoopy thing, right?

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. The night was moist.

:rofl:

[Mad_Dem_X]

13. No...the night was sultry

"It's too goddamn sultry in here!"

[MrCoffee]

5. no way...it was Bulwer-Lytton, and check this out, it's AWESOME!

http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

San Jose State University's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for the worst opening line.

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. How can that be a Bulwer-Lyton example

when it doesn't contain a single rambling, disconnected simile? I saw one once that was the metaphoric equivalent of — oh, what do you call those things that look like funnel cakes except they're not light brown, but sort of dark orange or — dammit, what was the name of it in the Crayola 64 box with the sharpener — which really didn't make much sense, because you don't really need a sharpener for crayons, since you can just color using one side of them for awhile and sort of go around the crayon that way until you get back the point? Anyway, kind of like that, only longer.

[MrCoffee]

14. my hat is off to you, Sir.

:applause:

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. Aw, shucks

All's y'gotta do is ramble. :blush:

Maybe that comes easier to me, I dunno. I've always rambled — well, when I say "always," I mean frequently for as long as I can remember, as opposed to "constantly," which would indicate that I can't stop rambling, which just isn't the case — although there are times when rambling seems to come more easily, and I wonder if I might have sporadic ADD or something and what kind of vitamin or other supplement might help that, as if I don't take enough of the damned things already — but I haven't taken 'em yet today, so maybe that's the problem — although I dunno if callng it a "problem" is a fair assessment, since there sometimes seems to be some value in rambling, although some people would probably disagree — but then, they're probably anal-retentive types (and, yes, "anal-retentive" does require a hyphen) who stubbornly insist that people pick a topic and stick with it, which I find rather boring — well, not really "boring," but...

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. And next up, a man who talks in a very roundabout way

:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. I had that bit in mind

all the time I was writing that. :7

"I thought it was because you were interested in me as a hooman being!"

[Kali]

6. I think I read that already...

at the bottom of an important e-mail I received for investing in "(EGLY)" or some such.

[Call Me Wesley]

8. Dear Mr. Rabrrrrrr

Thank you for taking the time to send in your work.

In this case, after reading your story, we are sorry to inform you that it is not suitable for our current publishing list.

We wish we had time to give you more feedback on your manuscript, but we receive so many submissions that we are unable to give specific comments.

We do hope you have better luck in placing the manuscript elsewhere.

With kind regards

Novelist's Weekly, Ltd.

P. S. You might want to consider using a different pseudonym.

[miss_american_pie]

12. LOL

:thumbsup:

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. That's perfect! Thank you!

:rofl:

[lildreamer316]

9. OH.

oh. oh.
<brain spasms>
ROTFL.
Man, Rabrrrrrr, you get me every time.

[mainegreen]

10. "gothic radiance amid the shallots"?

:rofl:

[SOteric]

11. Rotarians are having a karaoke lunch?

In a cornfield?

[wildhorses]

18. the correct response is 42

not that you were asking a question--

[CaliforniaPeggy]

20. My dear Rabrrrrrr!

LOL!

ROFL!

And so on........ad infinitum!

:rofl: :rofl:

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Thanks, my most dear ms. california peggy-san!

[Generic Brad]

22. When it's finished I may not buy the cow

I have already gotten the milk for free. ;-)