3 hours ago, I found out a friend of mine from high school killed himself.

[flvegan]

It was within the past couple days, and the news is just getting told to friends outside the family. I don't have all the details. I think I'm kind of thankful for that.

He was a couple years older, one of the best friends of my brother. I knew him well, my mom is good friends with his mom. First and only time I ever went fishing as a kid was with him.

He'd had a tough couple years, recently. He sort of cut himself off from lots of folks, his marriage had gone really south. I guess you never know how bad it is for someone else. Maybe those closer to him might have seen this coming.

I sure as hell didn't.

This sucks.

[AwakeAtLast]

1. Sorry to hear that.

:hug: :hug:

[flvegan]

25. Thank you for that.

[Ptah]

2. That sucks.

:hug: :hug: :grouphug:

I hope you will find comfort this Thanksgiving.

:cry:

[flvegan]

26. I'm hoping that his mom does.

She's completely alone now. He was her only child. This is going to be a tough holiday season for her.

Thank you.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear flvegan..........

I am so sorry..........:hug:

I hope this little poem will help you.......

Life is eternal;

And love is immortal;

And death is only a horizon;

And a horizon is nothing

Save the limit of our sight.

--Author unknown

[flvegan]

27. Thanks, Peggy.

That's a beautiful poem (that I've now copied and saved).

[Haole Girl]

4. Oh flvegan...

Please don't blame yourself. Even those closest often don't see it coming. :hug: :hug:

[flvegan]

28. I don't think anyone did, really.

His just divorced wife might have had an inkling, but during a divorce, everything seems amplified I think. She was closest to him.

Thank you for the kind words.

[LeftyMom]

5. I'm sorry love.

If you need to talk, I'm here.

[flvegan]

29. I know. Thanks.

It's the next day, and of course the e-mails/call are flying around over this. I wish I had a life-event "Do Not Disturb" button, so I can catch it all later at once.

[LeftyMom]

38. That's certainly understandable.

Could you just let things go to VM and only call back when you feel up to it?

[flvegan]

59. "Unknown" could be work.

Plus, if I can give any good thoughts or words back to them, it's worth bearing any additional sadness.

[LeftyMom]

61. I figured it was something like that second explanation.

You're a good man. :hug:

[fizzgig]

6. i hope all involved find peace

:hug:

[flvegan]

31. I hope so too.

All things in their own time, I suppose.

Thanks.

[Floogeldy]

7. I'm sorry and I feel for you.

But what your friend did was wrong. And stupid.

[flvegan]

32. I have to agree.

It pains me to say it, as I sort of feel like it isn't right, but it's true.

Thank you.

[Haole Girl]

37. A word about suicide....

Just so you are aware, many very intelligent people become deeply depressed. Sometimes I wonder if that is because they see everything around them...and process everything around them. Unlike those of us who might be oblivious.

I would just like to point out (again) suicide is an emotional act. The word "stupid" cannot really apply then...IMHO.

[wildhorses]

8. sad to hear, sorry for your loss

may he find peace

[flvegan]

33. I have to believe that he finally has.

And now it's on to us...

Thank you.

[Robeson]

9. I'm sorry flvegan..

...:grouphug:

[flvegan]

34. Thanks, buddy.

I appreciate it.

[UrbScotty]

10. So sorry

I can't imagine what you're going through.

[flvegan]

40. I'm concerned for his mom.

She's had a very rough past several months, and now her only son...

Thanks.

[BlueStorm]

11. I am so sorry... suicide can be rough.

I have never experienced a loss myself but here's a hug from me.

:hug:

[flvegan]

41. This is

the first time someone I've known has done this. It's a different feeling.

Thank you.

[reyd reid reed]

12. I'm so sorry, hon.

:hug:

It's hard to lose someone and especially by his own hand. I wish I knew the magic words, but all I've got is a hug or two.

:hug::hug:

[flvegan]

42. Thank you.

If you find those magic words, let me know. I'd like to pass them along.

[speedoo]

13. I'm sorry.

Lots of people who were close to him may blame themselves, I'm afraid. I hope you won't.:hug:

And I hope everyone concerned finds peace somehow.

[flvegan]

43. I fear that

the aftermath may be messy, straightening affairs, and may make things all the worse.

Thank you.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

14. Oh man, I'm sorry...

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[flvegan]

44. Thanks.

The "sinking in" isn't any easier.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

65. I wish I could do more but this will have to do...

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[NMMNG]

15. My condolences flvegan

:hug:

[flvegan]

45. Thanks, BTFS.

I really appreciate it.

[Ptah]

16. More hugs.

I am saddened to leaarn of your loss

:hug:

[flvegan]

46. Thanks, man.

I'm trying to stay in better spirits today.

[begin_within]

17. That's tough. Hope you feel better soon.

[flvegan]

47. Thanks. That

picture in your sig is a good start.

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[flvegan]

48. I think that because he was such

a strong-willed, smart, independant person, folks thought he'd continue to roll with the punches, like many folks do. I didn't see/hear any signs, and was totally blown away by the news.

Thanks.

[xchrom]

19. condolences to you, good sir.

[flvegan]

49. Thank, you.

Much obliged.

[miss_american_pie]

20. I'm sorry

:hug:

[flvegan]

50. Thank you.

:hug: back.

[livetohike]

21. I'm sorry flvegan

:hug: I hope your family and your friend's family will remember the good times of his life and that it will help to ease the sadness.

[flvegan]

51. I haven't heard from my brother yet.

I have no idea how he's going to take this.

Thanks.

[BreweryYardRat]

22. Sorry to hear that.

:hug:

[flvegan]

52. Thanks, bro.

It's a terrible shame.

[buddhamama]

23. I am sorry, flvegan

please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your friend. :hug:

[flvegan]

53. Thank you so very much.

I can always count on my DU friends...

[BigMcLargehuge]

24. Same thing happened to me -

it sucks. I don't understand how people can feel they've hit absolute rock bottom and that there isn't anyway out. My high school pal Bil and me think someone hexed our graduating class, 1987. We've lost friends and classmates to suicide, commerical fishing and car accidents, and drugs in vast numbers since wearing the caps and gowns. When Mike (married his high school sweetheart, became a prison guard, wife left him and took the kids, he lost his job) took his own life, Bil and I made a pact that if things ever seemed so bad that punching out looked like a good option, we would immediately call the other to talk, or immediately meet to work through whatever it is that's driving us down.

I've learned not to dwell on the "why" as much as try to honor the memory of their life and the friendship we shared, and to cherish the time we had together as friends. That helps me deal.

My condolences man.

[flvegan]

54. Me neither.

I think that's part of what makes this as tough as it is. It's easier to accept that everyone dies, but suicide is different. At least to me. I'm trying to get past the "why" but my mind is stuck on it right now.

Thanks.

[BarenakedLady]

30. I'm so very sorry

:hug:

[flvegan]

55. Thank you.

It certainly is "the morning after"

[Coventina]

35. Hugs flvegan.

:hug:

What a terrible thing for his family and friends.

I have no words.

[flvegan]

56. I don't have them either.

I've been staring at his mom's message for a couple hours now, trying to find the right thing to say.

Thank you.

[Lady Freedom]

36. My sympathies flvegan.

[flvegan]

57. Thank you.

I appreciate the thoughts.

[Kerrytravelers]

39. I'm so sorry.

I've been there. In school, over the four years in high school, eight classmates (illness, accidents, suicide and murder.) Since graduation, several more have died (illness, accidents, suicide and murder.)

It's tough. Hang in there. Here's a hug from me. :hug:

[flvegan]

58. Thanks.

As with all things, I'm trying to find something positive here. This one isn't easy.

[ThomCat]

60. I'm sorry about your friend.

:hug:

I hope his family is coming together and helping each other. I hope you and his other friends can do the same.

[flvegan]

63. My biggest concern

is his mom. That's all the "family" there is. No dad, siblings...mom is by herself, trying to pull this together.

Thanks, buddy.

[Left Is Write]

62. I'm sorry.

:(

[flvegan]

64. Thank you.

My friends here are the greatest.