Police: Nude man hides awl in buttocks

[Herman Munster]

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/15924617.htm

EL CERRITO, Calif. - A naked man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after telling police he had a screwdriver in his buttocks. The man was lying on a tree stump masturbating beside a nature path near the El Cerrito Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked if he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said.

Officers drew their weapons and firefighters were called to the scene, but Sheehan removed a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape without incident.

[originalpckelly]

1. At first I read the headline as "Nude man hides owl in buttocks"

I then I asked myself, "Do they make metal owls? Why would that be considered a weapon?"

You might say I'm having a hoot over here at my misreading.

:rofl:

[Tinksrival]

28. I thought the same at first!

Then I had to google "awl"........OMG!!! OUCH

[Rick Myers]

2. Awl in a day's work, officer...

Sorry!!!

[musette_sf]

3. another Ted Haggard story?

(rim shot)

but seriously folks, things are getting kind of messed up in El Chorizo, as I like to call it.

[BattyDem]

4. I can't decide what's more amusing

The fact that a man was lying on a tree stump masturbating beside a nature path with an awl in his butt or the fact that he was arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure.

Suspicion?!? He was lying on a tree stump masturbating ... and they needed more proof??? :rofl: :crazy: :rofl:

[oblivious]

19. Not to mention the firefighters and drawn guns.

"Uh-oh, the guys got a screwdriver up his ass, better call the fire dept."

Huh?

[BattyDem]

21. Imagine being in the firehouse that got the call

"Engine 51 ... please respond to El Cerrito. Butt plug extraction in progress."

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[DawgHouse]

23. LOL!

[marzipanni]

35. Involving the fire department was necessary-

they blast the "awl out" signal with the station fire horn.

[kestrel91316]

5. This is very creepy. Exactly what was he planning to do with

that awl??? I think he was planning a murder............lure somebody and then stab him. Was this a place like in Griffith Park where the gays go to troll, hustle, and rendezvous??

Way creepy.

[NOLADEM]

8. Um, it was in his ASS...How was it going to be a weapon on someone else?

He was likely using it as a butt plug.

Whenever I masturbate on a jogging trail, it's what I use.

(do I have to say sarcasm?)

[BattyDem]

17. You just made me spit tea all over my keyboard!

"Whenever I masturbate on a jogging trail, it's what I use."

:rofl: :spray: :rofl: :spray: :rofl:

[DRoseDARs]

9. Two words: Makeshift dildo. n/t

[QuestionAll...]

6. Awls well that ends well. nt

[BattyDem]

7. LOL!

:toast:

[Catherine Vincent]

15. Lmao!

[npincus]

10. great minds think alike

Awl's well that 'ends' well

[Catherine Vincent]

11. How did the officer remove it?

ewwww

[htuttle]

12. (Pop!)

:rofl:

[QuestionAll...]

18. it's a dirty job but someone has to do it. nt

[atommom]

13. Ow. I'm no expert, but that just sounds like a bad idea.

:wtf:

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

14. and now for something completely different,,, a man with an awl

up his buttocks.

[MiniMe]

16. Thanks, I needed that laugh

[Berry Cool]

20. Cue Elvis...

"Uh well uh bless my soul,
What's wrong with me?
I'm boppin' mah baloney on the stump of a tree,
My friends say I'm crazy--what you got up your butt?
I'm in love--
I'm AWL shook up!
Mm mm, mmm mmm, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

[originalpckelly]

22. You owe me a new keyboard...

:spray:

Just kidding, but good joke.

[Lars39]

25. LOL

:rofl:

[QuestionAll...]

33. o lordy that was funny. ahhahaahah!

[QuestionAll...]

34. Awl I want for Christmas is a Phillips. nt

[bullwinkle428]

36. FUNNIEST POST EVER HERE AT DU!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I was going to reply last night, but was still having trouble breathing from laughing too hard!

[ecstatic]

24. evangelical? nt

[Sydnie]

26. suspicion of indecent exposure???

[Moochy]

27. At least it was not one of these...

Endangered Snowy Owl :)

[Berry Cool]

29. Don't even mention it.

It makes me think bad things about Harry Potter.

...hmm...would sort of give new meaning to that title "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."

[flvegan]

30. Where are the copycats? Come ON people!!

this one is just begging for it.

[Momgonepostal]

31. "You can't get much more concealed than that"

:rofl:

[Nevernose]

32. And people wonder why meth is illegal.

This is, hopefully, not the act of a sober man.