Why do girls think making past sexual experience sound bad

[HEyHEY]

Somehow makes the guy they're with feel good?
My buddy and I were talking about this last night. He was saying how so many women will only talk about negative experiences when talking to a S/O about their past. We were just saying that most women don't seem to know that it doesn't make us feel like we're so great, it makes us feel sad and disturb for you.
We both agreed that there is like no problems at all with hearing about good experiences... because you know your girlfriend was respected and comfortable. But the opposite really sucks... so don't do it, please.

[Deja Q]

1. Most humans are vindictive creatures.

That's all I know.

[philosophie_en_rose]

2. Maybe some men are insecure?

I don't think all men are insecure, but it could be that some women downplay the past to make some guys feel better about themselves.

[HEyHEY]

3. Yeah, but I think the thought of your GF feeling ashamed about

SOmething is worse than thinking you're a lousy fuck

[philosophie_en_rose]

6. That's true.

You're clearly an enlightened person, HEyHEY. But not all men are like you.

And, I suppose it might not even be about the man at all. Women and girls are trained to downplay their strengths and intelligence.

If you look at fundy websites the people sometimes post here, women are supposed to make men feel like superheroic dictators. {Oh thank you from rescuing me from bad sex. You're so cool.}

[HEyHEY]

8. I always just ASSUME I'm rescuing them from bad sex

So maybe that's where I get my views. ;-)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

4. I don't think that way and neither have most of the people I've been with.

Maybe lesbians are different though.

[HEyHEY]

5. Perhaps

But yeah, we just noticed how so often stories will end with, "I didn't really wanna and I feel bad about it now."

What would REALLY make me feel better is hearing, "Oh it was AWESOME. A great fuck, I'd totally do it again."

[skygazer]

7. Not everyone is like you

Quite honestly, I don't tend to talk much about past sexual experiences with guys I date because so many of them seem to see them as a threat. Or a comparison. Maybe that's why some women choose to only talk about negative experiences - I don't know. And then there are the people who get obsessed by numbers - I've seen that right here on DU when people ask how many sexual partners a person has had or ask if a particular number is "too many." I've always wondered how you figure out the cutoff - 8 is okay but 9 is too many? Or whatever.

I'm fortunate to be with a guy now who isn't insecure about his partner's past. But there are a lot of people out there who are, that's for sure. And I suppose there are plenty of people who are insecure about their own past.

[Nikia]

9. Because bad experiences might be more common than good

They stopped seeing/didn't see again all those other guys they had sexual experience with. If they were having a really good experience with that person, they probably would be still seeing them. Yeah, sometimes they might have had a good one night stand that they intended only to be a one night stand or a good break up where they both respected one another, but from my point of view as a woman and many women that I know, that is less common than the bad and talking about it with an SO makes the man in question be perceived as a potential threat.