'Cause I'm a Blonde

[NewWaveChick1981]

:rofl: Damn, I love music with a sense of humor! And I love Julie Brown's songs...:rofl:

Because I'm blonde, I don't have to think
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks
Don't have to worry about gettin' a man
If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I see people workin', it just makes me giggle
'Cause I don't have to work, I just have to jiggle

'Cause I'm blonde
B-L-O-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde
Don't you wish you were me?

I never learned to read and I never learned to cook
Why should I bother when I look like I look?
I know lots of people are smarter than me
But I have this philosophy:
"So what?"

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I see girls without dates and I feel so sorry for 'em
'Cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em

'Cause I'm blonde
Nyah, nyah, nyah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Nyah, nyah, nyah

They say to make it you need talent and ambition
Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:

Um, okay. what was it, okay, um,
don't tell me, oh yeah, okay...
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I took an IQ test, and I flunked it, of course
I can't spell VW, but I got a Porsche

'Cause I'm a blonde
B-L-A-N-D
'Cause I'm a blonde
Don't you wish you were me?

I just want to say that being chosen as
this month's Miss August is like a compliment
I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm
a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal
is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children.

'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause we're a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true
With my hair and body, you would be too

'Cause I'm a blonde
B-L-... I don't know!
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause I'm a blonde
Yeah, yeah, yeah!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s70o8HCRGV4

[billyskank]

1. You got into Harvard?

"What, like it's hard?" :hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

2. LOL!

:hi: I love Reese Witherspoon in that movie! :P

[kwassa]

3. What did the blonde say when I blew in her ear?

"Thanks for the refill!"

[NewWaveChick1981]

4. ROFL!

:rofl: :hi:

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. It was homecoming night at my high school

Everyone was there, it was totally cool
I was real excited, I almost wet my jeans
'Cause my best friend Debbie was homecoming queen

She looked so pretty in pink chiffon
Riding the float with her tiara on
Holding this humongous bouquet in her hand
She looked straight out of Disneyland
You know, like the Cinderella ride, I mean definitely an E ticket
The crowd was cheering, everyone was stoked
I mean it was like the whole school was totally coked or something
The band was playing "Evergreen"
And all of a sudden somebody screamed
"Look out! The homecoming queen's got a gun!"

Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun!
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun!

Debbie's smiling and waving her gun
Picking off cheerleaders one by one
Oh, Buffie's pom-pom just blew to bits
Oh no, Mitzi's head just did the splits
God, my best friend's on a shooting spree
Stop it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me!
How could you do what you just did?
Are you having a really bad period?

Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun!
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun!

Stop Debbie, you're making a mess
Powder burns all over your dress

An hour later the cops arrived
By then the entire glee club had died, no big loss
You wouldn't believe what they brought to stop her
Tear gas, machine guns, even a chopper
"Throw down your gun and tiara and come out of the float!"
Debbie didn't listen to what the cop said
She aimed and fired and now the math teacher's dead
Oh it's really sad but kind of a relief
I mean, we had this big test coming up next week

Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun!
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a gun!

Debbie's really having a blast
She's wasting half of the class

The cops fired a warning shot that blew her off the float
I tried to scream "duck" but it stuck in my throat
She hit the ground and did a flip, it was real acrobatic
But I was crying so hard I couldn't work my Instamatic
I ran down to Debbie, I had to find out
What made her do it, why'd she freak out
I saw the bullet had got her right in the ear
I knew then the end was near

So I ran down and I said, in her good ear
"Debbie, why'd you do it?"
She raised her head, smiled, and said "I... I did it for Johnny."
Johnny? Well like who's Johnny?
Answer me, Debbie, who's Johnny?
Does anybody here know Johnny? Are you Johnny?
There was one guy named Johnny but he was a total geek, he always had food in his braces.
Answer me, Debbie, who's Johnny?
Oh God this is like that movie "Citizen Kane," you know where you later find out Rosebud was a sled? But we'll never know who Johnny was because like she's dead

Everybody run, the homecoming queen's got a gun!
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a
Everybody run
Everybody run, the homecoming queen has got a
Everybody run



Edit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrsxpgRooU4&mode=related&search=

[NewWaveChick1981]

6. Another one of my favorites!!!

:rofl: Damn, I love her songs... :thumbsup:

[Oeditpus Rex]

7. I've had a thing for her since the '80s

Just Say Julie (wah wah wah wahhhh)!

:loveya:

[NewWaveChick1981]

8. You do realize my real name is Julie, don't you?

:rofl: :hi: But my last name's not Brown...

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. I was not aware of this

Wah wah wah wahhhh! :rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

10. ...

:rofl: :hi: "If you wanna be a femme fatale, you can't rest on your L'Oréals!"

[Oeditpus Rex]

11. One more in the genre (sorta)

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I've got what boys like

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I see them looking

I make them want me
I like to tease them
They want to touch me
I never let them

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
Boys like
Boys like me

But you you're special (I might let you)
You're so much different (I might let you)
Ooohh would you like that? (I might let you)

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I know what's on their minds

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
They talk about me

I got my cat moves
That so upsets them
Zippers and buttons
Fun to frustrate them
They get so angry
Like pouty children
Denied their candy
I laugh right at them

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
Boys like
Boys like me

Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah

I see you're sad now (I will let you)
Sorry I teased you (I will let you)
This time I mean it (I will let you)
Anything you want (You can trust me)
I really want to (You can trust me)
How would you like it? (You can trust me)

SUCKER! Hmhmhm!

I know what boys like
I got what guys want
I know what boys like
Boys like
Boys like me

Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpLCt1otLCI

[NewWaveChick1981]

12. That was my theme song in college...

:rofl: :hi: I love the Waitresses too!!! :loveya:

While we're on the subject of hilarious 80s songs, I love Josie Cotten too...especially Johnny, Are You Queer? :rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

13. That came out when I was kinda...

...well, not in a good place re women. So I was like, "Fuck you, bitch" about it.



But I'm much better now. :silly:

[NewWaveChick1981]

14. Well, I'm glad you resolved your issues...

:rofl: :hi: And now you can appreciate good music once again. :patriot:

More fun songs:

"Are You Ready For the Sex Girls?" by The Gleaming Spires
"88 Lines about 44 Women" by The Nails

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. I don't know why I thought of this one, but...

My car broke down in Alabam'
and it left me in one awful jam
and I got out on the highway to thumb a ride
All of a sudden, it was just my luck
I heard the air brakes of a big ol' truck
That driver pulled over and I ran up and I jumped inside

Brother, I know I'll never forget that night
when my eyes beheld the un-earthly sight
of the alien critter scrunched down behind the wheel
It had one big eye and skin like clay
and five tentacles that waved when it said "Hey"
And I had no clue as to the gender
Had a voice just like the farmer's daughter,
a purple flattop like Sergeant Carter
It was a big and scary, interplanetary, truck-drivin' lesbian by the name of Brenda

It smiled and said, "I'm willin' to bet
of all the places you been, this ain't happened yet"
And I said, "Well, you got that right, but it ain't no big thang"
She said, "Lemme get this straight between us
I'm a big mother trucker from the planet Venus
and I'm down here on earth to get some tapes of k.d. lang"
I smiled and thought, "What a relief"
'cause I'd already gotten in touch with my grief
at the thought of bein' a slave on a non-male-oriented planet

She was sayin', "k.d.'s our favorite singer"
when this jerk cut us off and he gave her the finger
and she reached out a tentacle and popped off his back fender
That little redneck jerk who'd been tryin' to tease us
right there on the spot gave up his life for Jesus
when he got an eyeball of my big and scary, interplanetary, truck-drivin' lesbian buddy named Brenda

She "huh'd" and said, "I didn't mean to be rude
and let's go get a little Earthling food"
and we pulled off on the exit at a place called Darlene's Truck Stop (huh-huh)
I thought to myself when we went in the door
"I wonder if any Venusians have been in here before"
But I forgot all about it when I saw k.d.'s tapes in the gift shop

We sat down in the nearest booth
and I'm feelin' a little nervous, to tell you the truth
'cause Brenda kept readin' the menu upside down
She said, "Gimme a bowl of raw bacon fat"
But then the waitress smirked, "Y'want grits with that?"
And the whole place laughed, and I said, "I'm gonna have to defend her"
This fat guy yells, "I ain't never seen the like!"
Then a scrawny one hollers, "It's a Star Trek dyke!"
at my big and scary, interplanetary, about-to-be-severely-pissed-off buddy named Brenda

This guy named Duane cut loose with a whistle
and nailed Brenda in the head with a Hush Puppy missile
and I stood up and said, "Y'all are some real ignorant sons of bitches"
Brenda jumped up 'bout the speed of warp 10
said, "Y'wanna play games, little Earthling men?"
and proceeded to push the Sinead O'Connor death-ray belt buckle around her britches

The fat guy disintegrated and she started gigglin'
and the scrawny one levitated and hung there wigglin'
and Duane's hot dog was reduced to a little bitty cinder
And I grabbed those tapes of k.d. lang
as she leveled that salad bar with a big BANG
My big and scary, interplanetary, I'm-not-a-bit-good-buddy named Brenda

We got back to the truck, and just in case
put an energy force field around the place
and nobody would be stoppin' at Darlene's anymore
Just for a little bitty joke between us
she teleported them rednecks to the planet Venus
to force them to work as clerks in the alternative book store

She looked at me and with a tear in her eye
said, "My mission is up, little Earthling guy
but if you get up to Venus, stop in and see me and visit"
I got all choked up and I said, "Ten-four"
and I jumped out and slammed that semi door
and I could hear her singin' four bars of "Return To Sender"

Y'know, brother, every now and then I look up in the sky
and think of them tentacles and that one big eye
and wonder about them rednecks up there workin' in that book store, probably just wish to hell Duane hadn't thrown that Hush Puppy at my big and scary, interplanetary, truck-drivin' lesbian buddy named Brenda