Two Peanuts Are Walking Down The Street, One Was Assaulted

[THUNDER HANDS]

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[LanternWaste]

1. Didja hear about the

Didja hear about the baby seal that walked into a club...?

[MrCoffee]

2. was it Club Daseal?

[El Fuego]

3. No, I'm a FRAYED KNOT.

[lildreamer316]

8. I LOVE that joke!

How about the bear-walked-into-a-bar one?

Bear walked into a bar.
Asked for a beer.
Bartender says "Sorry,but we don't serve bears here."
The bear says "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to walk to the end of the bar and EAT that woman sitting there!"
The bartender says" Well, do what you gotta do; we don't serve bears here!"
So, the bear walked over to the woman at the end of the bar and promptly ate her.
He goes back to the bartender, and says "NOW will you give me a beer?"
The bartender says "No, sorry. We don't serve drug users here either."
The bear is puzzled. "Waddaya mean, drug users? I'm not a drug user!"
The bartender says "Oh yes you are!.................
























...that was a bar bitch you ate!"



:hide:

[Richardo]

4. ...the other one was shelled. The crowd blanched in horror.

:)

[Book Lover]

5. Oh, Jesus. I want you to know it took me a full two minutes to get this joke

I hate you }(

[Oeditpus Rex]

6. 'But by December, their joke was ready

and Hitler gave the order for the German V-Joke to be broadcast in English."

Cut to 1940s radio set with British couple anxiously listening to it.

"Der ver zwei peanuts valking down der strasse, und vun vas assaulted... peanut. Ho-ho-ho-ho."




Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

:rofl:

[Book Lover]

12. Oh, Jesus again!

You mean that the punchline wasn't "salted peanut"? And it wasn't funny because it wasn't funny, but because it was an awful pun?

I first saw that skit more than 20 years ago, and only today have I gotten it. I am pathetic!

[Oeditpus Rex]

13. LOL!

Don't you remember the British couple totally not getting it? :rofl:

[Book Lover]

14. I thought that was because it didn't have a punchline

You know, stoic, unfunny Germans and all...? Too funny....:rofl:

[Oeditpus Rex]

15. Whaya mean, 'stoic, unfunny'?

"My dog's got no nose!"

"How does he smell?"

"Awful!"

:rofl:

[Book Lover]

16. Well, this one didn;t go over too well...

Die ist ein Kinnerhunder und zwei Mackel über und der bitte schön ist den Wunderhaus sprechensie. 'Nein' sprecht der Herren 'Ist aufern borger mit zveitingen'.

He finishes and looks hopeful.

"We let you know."

BANG!

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. I love the way Idle reads that

In that sing-song voice like he just knows it's gonna be funny.

ANOTHER GESTAPO AGENT

[lildreamer316]

7. What did the fish say when it hit the wall?

Damn.





















:hide:

[jpgray]

9. A husk falls over the crowd

:puke:

[azmouse]

10. Have you ever met Pierre the dehydrated Frenchman?

:P

[otherlander]

11. ....