My ex-husband passed away today, December 1, 2006 (MEMORIAL PHOTOS).

[Radio_Lady]

Both of my children had kept up the vigil until last week, but then returned to their homes. Now, my daughter and son will have to return to Vermont for the funeral.

To all of those who responded to my previous posts, I thank you for your guidance and help.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4936808

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5872404

Here's a photo collage of his early days; my husband put it together a few years ago:



In peace,

Radio_Lady

[Madrone]

1. I'm so sorry for your families....

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

3. Thank you, Madrone. I appreciate your message.

[WildEyedLiberal]

2. My condolences R_L

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

5. WildEyedLiberal, I give you my heart-felt thanks.

[NewWaveChick1981]

4. I'm sorry, Radio Lady..

:hug: My sympathies go out to you and your children. :pals:

[Radio_Lady]

11. New Wave Chick 1981, life's like that, I guess.

This has been a very hard day for my daughter and her husband.

[Book Lover]

6. :hug:

I hope this was the best end one could hope for, and that all goes well with you and yours. Peace.

[Radio_Lady]

12. Book Lover, hello to you. Neither of my children were there at the end,

but apparently it wasn't as easy as it might have been. He had wasted away to skin and bones. Their stepmother has had the worst time of it.

I feel terribly sorry for all of them.

Thanks for your condolences.

In peace,

Radio_Lady

[graywarrior]

7. Very sorry for your kids, Radio.

It always hurts to lose someone you knew in the past, even if things did not work out the way you wanted.

[Radio_Lady]

14. Thanks very much, Gray Warrior.

Yes, I have not been able to take out the love letters and photos from our wedding -- he has been terminally ill since March 2006.

Maybe I'll do that sometime in the future.

[ikojo]

8. Radio Lady, I am so sorry for your

family's loss.

May his memory be for a blessing.


:grouphug:

[Radio_Lady]

15. Ikojo, I will try to remember the good times, the birth of each of our

children and the happiness we shared for much of the eleven years we knew and loved each other.

Life is such a brief candle; this can only ignite my feeling that each one of us must "seize the day" and enjoy each day to its fullest.

[speedoo]

9. I'm very sorry.

My condolences to you and your kids. But you must also feel some relief that his ordeal has ended.:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

17. I am somewhat relieved; however the funeral arrangements are all

based on the current family's needs -- my children have to scramble to get back to Vermont and there are ticket and weather considerations.

I am praying for internal peace tonight.

[Ptah]

10. . .

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

18. Hi Ptah -- hugs are appreciated.

[Radio_Lady]

19. Duplicate -- deleted by Radio_Lady

[WhollyHeretic]

13. I am so sorry for your family's loss

[Radio_Lady]

24. Thanks so much, GreenJ. Your message helps to console me.

(GREAT PIRATE FLAG .GIF, by the way!!!)

[Redstone]

16. My condolences to your kids and any other family of his.

Redstone

[Radio_Lady]

27. The famiily ties are pretty intricate; he remarried two weeks after we

divorced in the 1970s. He has two stepchildren who are closer to him than his own biological children.

I wish our lives had not been so complicated, but there were no other choices.

[Redstone]

32. Sometimes we don't get to make choices. Life chooses for us.

Redstone

[Radio_Lady]

34. Very well put, Redstone. "Life chooses for us."

[Redstone]

41. It's the truth, and an original thought. Just hope I'll remember it tomorrow.

But what's important is that YOU remember it.

redstone

[Left Is Write]

20. I'm sorry, Radio_Lady.

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

29. Good evening, Left Is Write. Thanks you so much for listening and

writing...

[rockymountaindem]

21. My condolences n/t

[Radio_Lady]

30. Warmly appreciative, Rocky Mountain Dem.

R.I.P. Peter R. Born 03/23/36 -- Died 12/01/06 Age 70 from complications from lung cancer.

[rockymountaindem]

52. Oh God, he was younger than my dad.

And I'm just 20. All my best to all of you.

[Radio_Lady]

58. I just hope and pray that your father is not a smoker. Truly. It is a terrible killer.

It takes people without mercy -- young and old.

When cancer hits your family, or you yourself... there is usually no time left for recriminations.

[rockymountaindem]

66. Never a day in his life

Both of my grandparents on his side were though, and I never got to meet them, so I know what you mean.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

22. Radio_Lady

:hug: I'm so sorry for your loss...

[Radio_Lady]

31. Hi Goddess. You may have noticed that my ex died on my grandson's

birthday, Dec. 1, 2006.

What is really odd is -- my present husband's father died on December 1, 1970. I've lit a candle of joy for the little grandson, and two candles of sadness for the two grandfathers who are no longer here.

(YOU HAVE A GREAT BIRTHDAY ON WEDNESDAY... PROMISE?)

[GoddessOfGuinness]

45. Happy birthday to your grandson!

How old is he?
:hug: ...for him... :hug:

By the way, my birthday was this past Wednesday. My son and I went to see Happy Feet, and I loved it!

[Radio_Lady]

47. Oh, sorry -- I've lost a few days and didn't realize it.

Solomon turned six years old, and he thanks you for the hugs!

Glad you enjoyed "Happy Feet"!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

57. My older boy was 6 when his granddad died...

I hope Solomon has many many happy years ahead of him. :)

[Radio_Lady]

59. Thank you so much. His step-Grandpa and I are doing our best to stay

happy and healthy. I'd love to dance with Solomon at his wedding! Can I dare hope for that???

[GoddessOfGuinness]

60. Sure!

Go for it! :)

[Radio_Lady]

62. Let's see. Maybe he'll knock someone up at age 16 and have to marry her?

OK. That means it'll be just ten years from today! I'll be a young 77!

I'm holdin' on............... :sarcasm:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

63. You'll still be able to dance when you're 87...

I remember reading about these twins about 10 years ago, who had just turned one hundred something. One had been a doctor, and the other a dentist. Their parents were born into slavery.

Anyway, these women took up aerobics in their 80s...

Reading about them really gave me a perspective of what's possible!

[SeattleGirl]

23. My condolences to you and all who loved and cared about him.

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

33. You've said it so beautifully, Seattle Girl.

Maybe during the holiday season, I'll break out the beautiful pictures we have of our wedding and all the love letters he wrote to me before that.

Just can't handle it right now... I'm pretty broke up.

[SeattleGirl]

40. When you are ready....

:hug:

[Lex]

25. I'm sorry for your family's loss, Radio_Lady.

THE LOST JEWEL

I held a jewel in my fingers
And went to sleep.
The day was warm, and winds were prosy;
I said: "T'will keep."

I woke and chid my honest fingers,
The gem was gone;
And now an amethyst remembrance
Is all I own.


--Emily Dickinson

[Radio_Lady]

35. No amethysts, but two small Tiffany charms on a golden bracelet.

He was a good man in many ways and he and I were blessed with two wonderful children. He loved another woman for more than thirty years and she is the one who has to take the brunt of this death.

I just wish he had taken better care of himself. I just couldn't get him to stop smoking even though I nagged and nagged.

[u4ic]

26. Heartfelt condolences to you

and your family, Radio_Lady. :hug:

[Radio_Lady]

38. u4ic, your thoughts mean a great deal to me tonight.

Hold those you love dearly -- this life comes to an end all too soon, and we make too much of it while we live it.

Have a wonderful holiday season!

[u4ic]

55. Thank you, Radio_Lady

and as difficult as it may be, I hope you have a wonderful holiday season yourself. Perhaps a bit more reflective than previous years, but you stated it perfectly above - hold those you love dearly.

[benny05]

28. May there be some peace for your family

In a time of shadows. Nice thing to do.

I'm still close to my first spouse. He's coming to our home at Xmas as now he hasn't any parents or siblings, and we consider him family.

[Radio_Lady]

43. Benny05, that is such a beautiful and touching gesture. You are to be commended.

I wish I could have done better with my ex-spouse. I remarried just 1 1/2 years after our divorce, when my children were so small, they didn't even remember living with anyone else except their current stepfather.

There was so much competition between the families, and in-fighting and court cases, and all that stuff. At least I know that I did my best to try and consider his situation and his feelings through the years. Ultimately he did live with his own children for almost eight years due to a medical problem I had. I turned over custody to him in 1980 and paid him child support until 1988, when the younger child graduated high school.

[benny05]

54. Thanks, but I think the commendation should be for You

We didn't have children, but I did wait for a long time to make the decision, and were separated a long time. We had opportunities to re-unite and almost did, but in the long run, it was not best for me, and I think he understands, not for him either. This past summer, I took a week off to be a caregiver for him when he had outpatient surgery that kicked his rear end, and knew that it might. I had to take some extra time, but it was worth it, despite my wanting to get back home. My spouse was totally cool about it as well. Since we don't have kids and know when we get older with no family to help us either, we kinda "get it".

[Irishonly]

36. I am so sorry

to hear of your loss. Your family and friends are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can find peace while reflecting and remembering.

[Radio_Lady]

46. Luckily, my grandson turned six tonight and we had a small birthday party for him.

I've had some sangria and some pizza and some ice cream. Just consoling myself with all the DUers who have been kind enough to post here tonight.

It's just hard to think that a man I loved so much is now gone. This is the second person to pass away this year; the other was a former mentor and lover who died in January.

[fizzgig]

37. peace to you and your family

:hug:

[Radio_Lady]

49. Kagehime, your words means so much to me at this time.

R.I.P. Peter -- Born in the Free State of Danzig March 23, 1938 Died in Vermont December 1, 2006

[GoneOffShore]

39. May he be remembered

[Radio_Lady]

50. Gone Off Shor, to be sure, he will be remembered by his two children.

I dream of him periodically, also. I've known him since 1959 -- a very long time.

[crim son]

42. The pictures are wonderful.

I'm very sorry for your loss. :hug:

[Radio_Lady]

51. Thank you, Crim Son. I don't know what else to say, but thank you.

[Gormy Cuss]

44. Peace to your children and you, Radio_Lady n/t.

[Blue_In_AK]

48. I'm sorry, RadioLady. My condolences.

Even when it's an ex, it hits hard. I've been there.

[Radio_Lady]

61. Hello Blue_In_AK. Your thoughts mean so much to me. It's been a very hard evening.

Found some recent pictures of him on the Internet and have had condolence emails from those I notified today.

One of my friends from years ago told me she has metastisized breast cancer which is now manifesting itself as bone cancer. God... I just can't feel any more...

[bullwinkle428]

53. My condolences to you and your family, RL - I think it's very touching that

you continued to care for his well-being, long after the two of you had parted ways.

[Radio_Lady]

56. As many of you know, when you have children with someone, you never quite get

away from dealing with them. In our cases, we both married again and have been with those two other people for decades.

Many of our transactions were difficult, but we were always in touch over the common bond we had together -- Linda and David.

Thank you for your comments.

[DainBramaged]

64. I hate it so that we have to always say we're sorry and that

life is so short. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. :hug: :cry: :cry: :hug:

[devilgrrl]

65. My condolences Radio Lady

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[Blue Diadem]

67. I'm so sorry Radio Lady,

My condolences to your children, to you and to his other family members and friends. :hug:

[Hugin]

68. You have my greatest sympathy Radio_Lady...

Thank you for the pictures.

:hug:

[Fla Dem]

69. Very sorry for your loss...especially during the holidays. n/t

[YDogg]

70. Best wishes, Radio_Lady.

Peace.

[buddhamama]

71. My heartfelt condolences, Radio_Lady

to you and your family. May he be at Peace. :hug:

[blondeatlast]

72. Sending a prayer to you and yours. Very admirable how much you

still cared for him. Take care, RL. :hug:

[RetroLounge]

73. Hugs to you and your extended family

:hug:

RL

[Radio_Lady]

74. Saturday: All my thanks to everyone who responded. We're back to taking

family members to the PDX airport and watching the grandkids.

Sorry I'm not able to thank everyone individually. Hope this will suffice.

See you around the corner on another happier topic!

In peace,

Radio_Lady

[QMPMom]

75. I am so sorry, RadioLady. I will keep you, your children and

grandchildren in my thoughts and prayers. Peace be with you.

[SoCalDem]

76. Hugs to you and your family.

It's always hard to lose people we love (loved), but as long some someone remembers them, they are still here, in a way.
:hug: