I require shitty, inauthentic Mexican recipes.

[Rabrrrrrr]

Because when I go out for ethnic food, I want something safe and genuine - so when I want Mexican, I go to a NICE Mexican place: Chi Chis.

Just like when I want Italian, I go to Olive Garden, not one of those creepy places with weird food run by Italians.

I want my Mexican and my Italian cooked by white guys, served by white women, in safe, pleasing restaurants, because I want the *REAL* thing, not some individual Mexican's or Italian's idea of what "homestyle" is.

[Gormy Cuss]

1. Shitty Salsa

1 bottle catsup
1 pkg. Lipton Onion Soup Mix.

Stir together, refrigerate for one day. Serve with Saltines.

[Writer]

2. Like, chili con queso, 'k?

Like get some Velveeta, and, um, some Rotel and like ... oh I think the directions are on the box or something. And it is, like, SOOO GOOOOOD!

k?

[AlCzervik]

3. i like rotel, i discovered them when i lived in texas. yummy.

[Writer]

4. I, like, make it all the time when I'm out with my friends...

k?

[crispini]

7. actually, velveeta and rotel is pretty damn good.

nasty, but good. :rofl:

[Writer]

8. My theory on Velveeta...

a processed, phony cheese product for a processed, phony world of processed, phony Americans.

(Oooh. I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for that! Add Velveeta cheese lovers to particular ethnic groups, public breast feeding women, and women of a particular pants size. :evilgrin:)

[crispini]

11. LOL! but you know, somethines processed nas ty is GOOD.

I mean, I'm all down with a suitably moldy, raunchy foot smelly cheese, French or goat, or any one of numerous kinds of English, such as stilton perhaps, but when one wants the creamy plastic goodness of the velveeta (WITH rotel, please) well, there isn't quite anything that cooks down nearly so well! :rofl:

[Writer]

12. Actually it works best as caulking.

... if you have a bath with yellow tile, that is. :P

[crispini]

14. LOL!

Okay, ick. :rofl:

[Writer]

17. And, yes...

there is a taste to the caulk. :evilgrin:

[RevolutionaryActs]

5. I am blessed to live where there are THREE small, family owned

Mexican restaurants. And damn they make good stuff. :9

[Deja Q]

6. Just drink the water.

:P

:hurts:

:rofl:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. I am more partial to shitty, inauthentic Chinese recipes.

Like chow mein with a lot of mushy celery, topped with soggy fried noodles. Mmmmm!

[tinfoil tiaras]

10. And Japanese and Chinese made by a bunch of white people

--so authentic! :sarcasm:

The best Mexican resteraunts are the small local-owned authentic places. I prefer them over On the Border anytime... :9

[Catshrink]

15. You mean Panda Express isn't real Chinese food?

At the nearby PE, the entire staff speaks Spanish and not much English. So it's Chinese food cooked by immigrants from Mexico. Hmmmmm. Guess it's a comfusion of ethnicities, but then it's all by rote anyway.

[tinfoil tiaras]

16. Haha, that's wierd.

It reminds me of Manchu Wok at the mall kinda. Or On The Border, where all the "fexican" (fake Mexican) is served by white people... :rofl:

[InternalDialogue]

19. Oddly, last time I went out for real Mexican food

I was with a friend whose buddy from the Czech Republic was visiting. After dinner, as my American friend and I paid the bill, the Czech guy talked in fluent Spanish with the restaurant staff. I felt totally out of the loop.

Czech guy, meet Mexican guy, discuss. I'll be over here.

:dunce:

[Wonk]

13. Start with one inauthentic Mexican. Chop into bite sized pieces, grill

for twenty minutes, add peppers and shit, stir, and serve hot on lightly toasted wonder bread.

[TheBaldyMan]

18. Haggis tortillas

Fly to Prestwick airport in Scotland.
Drive to Glasgow city centre.
Go to "El Pendejo Escocia" Mexican Restaurant
Ask the waiter for a Haggis Tortilla
Eat when served.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

20. Please tell me you're making this up.

That's the weirdest food I've ever heard of.

[Kali]

21. "El Pendejo Escocia"

:spray: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :woohoo:

[Porcupine]

23. Imagine the signs on the restroom doors.......

El Cabrones y las Putas.

I've got the hiccups now. I hope you're happy.

Oh look: http://www.jamillan.com/insultos/index.htm

ok I'll stop.

[Writer]

22. LOLOLOLOL

:rofl: