Unrequited Love

[Haole Girl]

This one goes out to all the broken hearts out there...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bK5ySGgyjiU

[billyskank]

1. I am intimately familiar with that one

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

2. Thanks

I take it you gathered I needed a hug. Thanks... :hug:

[Madrone]

3. Unrequited love sucks no matter which side of it you're on.

In fact, I'm not sure which side is worse.

[Haole Girl]

4. True

I've been on both sides. The receiving end, while awkward, is no where near as painful.

[lizziegrace]

6. I agree

But, I'd rather be on the giving end. At least I'm feeling something for someone.

[Madrone]

9. My most recent experiences have been on the receiving end.

So that's what's most fresh in my mind - and the most most recent one ended up going psycho and stalking me. Bad scene all the way around. The other side hasn't happened for me in a long time - but I can be a tough nut to crack when it comes to opening myself up enough for it to be a possibility. That's not always the best way to be either.

I wish I had some advice to offer you, but all I've got is - :hug:.

[lizziegrace]

10. After 3 years

(since my divorce), I allowed myself to care about someone. It didn't work but it was nice to know I was able to open my heart, just a bit. I just wish it hadn't crashed and burned. :(

The stalking stuff is scary. :hug:

[Madrone]

12. I'm sorry it worked out so badly for you.

:hug:

I've learned to be happy by myself - I LOVE being by myself actually. I've also learned to sometimes just let things happen - just relax and let "the universe" guide me. It's amazing what can happen when you're already content but open to other possibilities.

I'm also getting more and more picky as I get older - it's got to be 100% right, there has to be no question or I'm not interested in investing too much of my time and/or energy in something that I have to settle for. I've always figured that this utopian relationship I'm (not really) looking for was possible in theory but I wasn't convinced it would ever be anything I'd find personally. But now I think ... maybe. :) Maybe it's really not out of reach. :shrug:

One thing the assholes and men that didn't work out in my past has done is to teach me what I want. That's the largest part of the puzzle right there.

[lizziegrace]

13. It's okay

I've been divorced 5 years now and I'd rather be alone than unhappy with someone else. I was treated like a whole lotta nothing special for 18 years when I was married, so my self-confidence and self-esteem are a bit on the low side at times.

But I wouldn't miss this ride for anything. You never know what life will bring.

:hug:

[Madrone]

14. You got it!

"You never know what life will bring."

Exactly. And you are spot on, alone is far better than miserable with someone else. It's so sad that you're marriage has placed a hit on your self-esteem, but it's definitely not uncommon. You need to get YOU back - start trusting in yourself again. It's not that easy but it can be done. I only know you from some of your posts here on DU and I already know enough to see how much you have to offer. The great part will be when you also know, fully, what you have to give ... because then you'll not be so quick to offer your kind heart to those who would not treat it with care.

[lizziegrace]

16. Thank you

You may never know what your words have meant to me. Amazing how you get exactly what you need to hear.

:hug:

[SPKrazy]

29. Thanks For That

I know it wasn't directed to me

but it is just what I need to hear right now.

I think that what you said "I'd rather be alone than unhappy with someone else"

Where I'm at right now, after 17 years of marriage and seeing that falling off the tracks, is good to hear.

I would imagine that you are a whole lot of good something, and the person who treated you like nothing was foolish.

This is a great ride, even with the damned bumps!

:hug:

[billyskank]

11. Okay, the 'lover going psycho and stalking me' situation is not usual

I can tell you that the more usual situation - person X loves me but I don't feel the same for her - is far easier to deal with than the reverse.

[Madrone]

15. True - Not usual is probably an understatement.

:)

[billyskank]

5. It is worse for the lover

than for the beloved. There is no doubt in my mind.

[lizziegrace]

7. Yep

:hug:

[billyskank]

8. .

:hug:

[Haole Girl]

17. Before this thread drops like a rock, I'd like to say one more thing

Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish every little post wouldn't turn into an argument.

Note the OP-- it was a dedication to "all the broken hearts".

It was *not* a dedication to psycho stalkers.

It wasn't supposed to turn into something ugly.

But, such is life....I suppose...
and, in a way, this is truly poetic justice... for how I'm feeling right now.

Whatever.

[Bassic]

18. I hear ya

Not every post is supposed to be flamebait. Although it does seem that this thread managed to sidestep that perticular pitfall relatively nicely, so there is still hope. :)

[Madrone]

23. I'm sorry -

I wasn't flaming you at ALL and I am so sorry you saw it that way. I don't know what you read into what I was saying ... I didn't see any argument... I don't know what else to say I guess, other than I am truly sorry I offended you and I feel truly HORRIBLE that you are. :(

[lizziegrace]

24. Same here

since I was an active participant in the thread.

:(

[reyd reid reed]

19. I know this one...

it's tough. Thank you for posting this.

:hug:

[crim son]

20. I'm sorry, KC2.

:hug: :pals: :hug: :loveya:

It's a tough place to be, but it'll get better, and eventually it just... fades away.

[Dangerously Amused]

21. Thanks, doll.

My last few attempts at loving someone have not ended well. Due in large part, I suspect, to my own naivity.


:cry:


Thank god for kitties who do love unconditoinally, and people like you who empathize and offer such kindness.



:hug:

[buddhamama]

25. D_A,

i am by no means intending to make light of the pain you have felt,
but i must say it is their loss. You're D_A, the best of the best!

I am sorry. The universe is nothing if not mysterious and one never knows what it'll bring us. :hug:

[Dangerously Amused]

26. Oh my goodness, thank you for the very kind compliment!

:blush:


Yeah, I'm not entirely sure why those relationships went so badly. I'm still trying to figure out whether it's Karmic payback for something awful I've done (apparently I was Hitler in a former life, ha ha), or what lessons I'm supposed to be learning from all this, or what.

But anyway, it helps tremendously having the support of your wise and wonderful self. I respect you highly, and your words mean the world to me.


Thank you!


:hug:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

31. Come here.

:hug:

[Dangerously Amused]

33. Awww, thanks sweetie.

:hug:

[idgiehkt]

22. this is one of my favorite songs by her.

thank the gods for youtube, best thing since sliced bread.

I used to sing this at the top of my lungs when I was an adolescent, getting all caught up in the angst of it over my love for Shaun Cassidy, Leif Garrett, and Scott Baio.

:rofl:

[u4ic]

27. I'm sorry, KC2

It's something I'm far too familiar with, too...:(


:hug:

[Mojambo]

28. It's the only kind I've ever known. n/t

[Deja Q]

32. Same here

[SPKrazy]

30. Thanks

I think I'll cry myself to sleep now.

:hug: