mom's new rule- cellphones

[mopinko]

if i, your mom, provide you with a cell phone, and pay your cellphone bills, you better have a brief, polite, non-smartass message for your voicemail. nothing worse than a long winded piece of adolescent humor when i am calling to find out where the fuck you are and what the fuck you think you are doing.
:nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Welcome to my world.

The first time I heard it, my blood pressure went up 200 points.

[matcom]

8. "so like, uhhhh, this is like teenMidlo and like, uhhhh, i'm not available right now.....

and like uhhhh, if you want to leave a message, uhhhhh, like, you can do so after the beep, uhhhhhhh, like its so cool that I have a cell, uhhhhhh, and like its totally RAD and, uhhhhhh, like if you are one of my COOL friends, uhhhhhh, you can text me and uhhhhhh, like i'll call you back and we can like, uhhhhhhhh talk and if your mom lets you we can uhhhhhhh talk real late and......."


:rofl:

[mopinko]

9. yes, that's the one

my baby. formerly perfect child, now 13. only she sounds like she is talking in her sleep or something.
the boy, 15, has- i can't come to the phone because THERE ARE SNAKES ON THIS PLANE!!!!!!!!! AAAAAGGHGHGH!!!! on and on.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

20. Oh Shit! I am SO doing that!

[Midlodemocrat]

18. No. It goes like this.

Hello?......Oh, hey? How are you?

Yada yada. Oh. I'm not HERE right now so leave a message.

[matcom]

21. i know

last time I called her I talked for 5 minutes before I found out it was her voice mail :cry:

[tigereye]

2. ah, so this is what I have to look forward to....

[mopinko]

29. and so much more!

actually, the funny thing is, i love other people's teenagers. i had a job for a while in a neighborhood arts center, and we had kids who came in to work on drama projects. i loved them. but then, i was in no way to blame for any teenage b.s. that they pulled, so.......

[QMPMom]

3. I feel your pain. Kids are so much fun, ain't they?

[Kali]

4. Or you better answer the damn thing so I don't hear said

longwinded piece of rude, adolescent humor.


Can I have the number? I want to hear it. Maybe he should post it in the lounge :rofl:

[mopinko]

5. i have 2, one he, one she

he has a long, screaming snakes on a plane "joke". the baby, 13, has a rambling, sleepy sounding, i can't come to the phone, i have my reasons, lallalalalala. oy.

[necso]

6. My feeling is that if you're going to

be a wise ass, you should become wise first.

The same holds true for smart ass, although with "smart" meaning knowledgable (about important things) and having understanding (including understanding of what matters -- and what is childish bs), not intelligence, which is different.

[mopinko]

10. mr snakes on a plane was born wise ass.

he is his father's son. and his grandfather's grandkid. it is hopeless. mostly i am amused. he is funny. but when you are pissed, and they are not answering, argh.
at least i survived their sister. 19 and in college, settled down, good kid. she was the queen of cellphone abuse.

[necso]

12. Genetics are incredibly important.

For example, I come from a line of fathers (my father, his father -- and one imagines that it goes even further back) who liked strong women.

[seemunkee]

7. Thanks for reminding me

She has conveniently forgotten how to change the message

[Lex]

11. I called a teenager's cell phone to offer an after-school job

and then decided to make the offer to another teenager after I heard the totally bizarro, smart-ass rude message on my first choice's cellphone.

Then I felt really old for a while, but got over it.

[petronius]

13. E-mail addresses get me the same way

I usually have a talk with my students at the beginning of the quarter, along the lines of "look, if your e-mail address is [e-mail], you should not expect professors and employers to take you seriously..."

[WritingIsMyReligion]

15. LOL again.

:rofl::rofl:

[mopinko]

16. i have a colleague

whose email is onewetdog. it is who she is. not sure she is going to get that college teaching job she is after, tho.

[mopinko]

17. my kids make me feel old every day.

somehow their dad still has that adolescent humor. a guy thing, i guess.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

14. LOL.

:rofl::rofl:

[Conan_The_Barbarian]

19. I know what you mean

A friend of mine has a young teenage brother, I call him up one time and...

Hello? HELLO? I can't hear you, I only have 1 bar. Oh wait I can hear you now ... DAMN I'm losing service again Verizon sucks, hold on let me call you back in a couple minutes *BEEP*

It had me going for about 20 seconds, man did I feel retarded, needless to say I didn't leave the bastard a message.

[ScreamingMeemie]

22. I don't know. I think my daughter's is kind of funny...

Hello, You have reached XXX-XXXX. Please leave a message after you hear the scream... and then she screams.

Before that, she did one with an Australian Accent that had me rolling. I guess I'm a bad mom.

[mopinko]

27. i can tolerate silly, as long as it's brief.

it's the minute and a half of silliness when steam is already coming out of my ears that makes me nuts.
your are a good mom if you can still laugh at a teenager. getting a bipolar kid through those years pretty much used up my lifetime supply of tolerance for teenage humor. it's coming back a little, since said kid is in college, and doing great. and my baby is a really good kid, even as she gets more teenaged every day.
but that boy in between them, mr snakes on a plane, is going to be the death of me, tho.

[MissMillie]

23. nevermind the voicemail

If you're paying for the phone, and you're calling to find out where your kid is (this assumes you know s/he's not in class)... you should never even hear the voicemail. That kid should answer the phone.

I have this discussion w/ my son all the time.

[mopinko]

26. oh, yeah.

as it happens, i was yelling into a phone that was home in her bedroom. even though she was supposed to take it with her. and she didn't need the ride to the orthodontist that i was going out of my way to give her, since it was so cold. she walked, like she usually does.
this kid is a great kid, so it irritates me all the more when she screws up. i count on her to be the good one. i can't take it when she acts up.

[hunter]

24. Agggghhhh! Teenagers!

When they were just small and I could simply pick them up to keep them out of trouble. I always looked forward to the days they could dress themselves, not run into a busy street, or otherwise stay out of trouble. And then for a little while they were like that. But then they turn into teenagers, and almost every bit of common sense you thought they were developing goes right out the window. You can't simply pick them up to keep them out of trouble anymore, instead you have to argue and argue, and repeat yourself and repeat yourself about stupid and obvious things, and sometimes they scream at you, run away, and slam their bedroom doors behind them.

:rant:

[mopinko]

30. mr snakes is a great door slammer

yeah, when they get big enough to do things that could actually ruin their lives, you do long for the days when toilet training was your biggest worry.
it is nice when you actually get some work out of them, tho.

[Zookeeper]

31. That is sooo true!

My third and youngest recently left those blissful 8 to 11 years. :cry:

The good news is that he hasn't entered the wacko teen hormonal stage yet, like his older sibs. And the sixteen year-old seems to be coming out of the worst of it.

I've always heard that teens are going through the same kind of developmental stage as when they were toddlers.

[Godhumor]

25. Back in the day...

Before cellphones were readily available, my college roommate and I used to hold our answering machine up to the TV to record our messages. My favorite came from "Kentucky Fried Movie:

"Hello, this is Dr. Claw. I am not in right now, so please leave a message at the beep. You have our gratitude! <gong>"

We kept it their for a few weeks before we figured out that people weren't leaving messages, because they thought they'd dialed the wrong number.

Thankfully, I made that discovery before job prospects began calling.

[trof]

28. OK, my favorite e-mail address is 'nocnoz@xxxx'

When I first saw it I thought 'knock-nose'?
What the hell is THAT?

I asked the lady.
Simple, really.
"Our name is Shults. Most people would spell it differently.
But our family's spelling has no 'c', and no 'z' "
nocnoz
Aha!

[Deep13]

32. "nothing worse than a long winded piece of adolescent humor "

What about pnuemonic plague?

[mopinko]

33. well, i guess you got me there.

the war in iraq is probably worse, too.