Oh, fuck me. Another day and night of chaos.

[Redstone]

My older son brought his cat home when he moved back from his college apartment in May.

The Little Guy kid of adopted the cat (my older son works all the time), and would constantly be carrying the cat around like he was a briefcase. Mrs R, though she's not a "cat person" got to like the cat as well.

Today, I got worried, because I hadn't seen the cat since yesterday morning when he went out. Sure enough, I walked up and around the corner, and there was Sneets, in a small field of grass, dead as a doorknob.

I wrapped him in a towel and brought him home; we'll bury him tomorrow. But the Little Guy is crying on and off even though I told him that playing with his new puppy will help him feel better, and Mrs R is in utter meltdown mode.

Christ, I feel bad about the cat being dead, too, but...I don't know what to say, because tension and tears and such eruptions trigger the nerve pain in my shoulder, not to mention the Monster...I'm not asking for any sympathy, but God, I need to be able to do some work (if I don't work, I don't get paid), and it's damn hard for me to get into the office with everyone weeping and carrying on.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Redstone

[graywarrior]

1. Kitty deaths....horrendous. Better plan on being the shoulder to cry on for awhile.

They should be ok in a few days(or weeks).

[Redstone]

11. But I don't HAVE a few days (or weeks). I need to get this project done! Fuck me, I'm going to have

to get ugly with them tomorrow. They'll just HAVE to take their grief out of the house, or at least at then end of the house away from my office.

I hate to have to be like that, but I have no choice.

Redstone

[graywarrior]

19. Have them arrested for disturbing your peace.

[Redstone]

21. I'll pretend I didn't hear that, because I know you didn't mean it that way.

Redstone

[graywarrior]

38. Of course I didn't mean it that way.

Yikes.

[Redstone]

49. I know. It's OK.

Redstone

[CharmCity]

53. Get an office elsewhere

Aside from the cat (very sorry)... I had a home office for many years, until my husband started working from home. I couldn't get anything done. Requests, errands, chats, breaks, etc.... When he announced he was getting a dog, I decided to get an office outside the house. Was an excellent move. That won't solve your problem right this minute, but I'm telling you, if your income is tied to your productivity or creativity, GET OUT. I found an awesome office and sublease. They provide the phone, furniture and internet connection. And They Leave Me Alone.

[Name removed]

57. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Redstone]

58. How very polite of you to point that out to me. Thank you so much.

Redstone

[Midlodemocrat]

2. I'm sorry, Redstone.

The death of a pet is terribly traumatic.

:hug:

[lumberingbear]

3. Sorry thr Redstone family is sad.

RIP Sneets

[WindRavenX]

4. Hang in there

:hug:

Hope things will calm down.

[MichiganVote]

5. Get em' another one.

[BarenakedLady]

6. I'm sorry

that things are tough today. Poor little kitty, your poor boy, poor Redstone. :hug:

[malta blue]

7. Sorry Redstone

It sounds like Sneets will be very missed.:cry:

[Ptah]

8. Geez, bro.

:hug: for you and yours.

Ptah

[flvegan]

9. You can choose the oar.

It seems that today/tonight, we're in the same shitty boat, friend. The very same boat.

[Redstone]

12. Who did you lose? Talk to me.

Redstone

[flvegan]

25. .

I can't talk about it.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

29. Hey man...

:hug:

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

30. Oh no

Not that sweet girl, I hope. Please no...

:hug:

[flvegan]

35. No, she's thriving. I couldn't beg for better for her.

Not lost, not in the least.

Thank you though, for thinking of her.

[Redstone]

32. When you can or want to, I'll be here.

Redstone

[flvegan]

37. Check your PM.

And, natch...thanks.

[Redstone]

44. I did. Check yours.

Redstone

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. aww redstone. so sorry,

how did the cat die? natural causes?

very sorry regardless :hug:

[Redstone]

14. He was near the Ford dealer at the corner of our street; I suspect he drank

some antifreeze, which is deadly to animals, but they drink it because it tastes sweet.

There wasn't a mark on him, so I don't think he got hit by a car. Or he may have eaten a diseased dead animal.

It wasn't old age; he was only a year an a half old.

Redstone

[crim son]

13. Your feelings are perfectly normal

just like your wife's and your son's are perfectly natural. Give everybody a hug and go do your work. If you get any criticism, repeat lovingly to your detractor what you've posted here. :hug: I'm sorry Redstone.

[Redstone]

15. Thank you.

Redstone

[SeattleGirl]

16. So sorry to hear about the cat, Redstone.

As someone else said, it's perfectly normal, the reactions all of you are having. I know you want to soothe your son and MrsR, but I know you also need to work. Can MrsR and your son maybe cry together (sometimes that is actualy very comforting), while you go do some work, and check on them now and then? I hope you all get to feeling better very soon.

:hug:

[QMPMom]

17. I'm so sorry, Redstone. Good thoughts and vibes coming towards you and yours.

[Redstone]

24. Thank you. I guess we got the puppy at just the right time. It would have been worse

without that consolation for the Little Guy and Mrs R.

Redstone

[SPKrazy]

18. Oh Man, I Hate It When Pets Die

and kids have to be explained to on top of that.

We had to euthanize our dog last year. It was not pleasant for any of us. Finding a dead pet is a terrible feeling too.

Sorry Redstone

:pals:

[Redstone]

20. But at least I found him and brought him home. That's something.

A pet deserves to be buried at home.

Redstone

[SPKrazy]

22. Yes That Is Something

Pets do deserve to be buried at home

I'm sorry for you and your little guy, he's a good looking kid.

SPK

[uppityperson]

56. sorry for Sneets and the Redstones, losing a pet can be hard

I am glad that you found the body and know for sure, even though that is also difficult. Hope you can figure out a way to get the work done and not stress out. My best to you and yours.

[Haole Girl]

23. I'm sorry

Could you tell them that you feel really badly too, and it's also hard for you to concentrate (because you feel badly etc.)....so, you'll be off in another part of the home....or something like that? Maybe honest communication could help in this scenario? I'm no expert, though. Good luck. Try to keep your cats inside...the outdoor ones always get killed far too early in their little lives (though, I know, this is easier said than done). Hugs... :hug: :hug:


edit: typo

[Redstone]

28. Excellent advice, KC. I've done that, and told them it's OK to be sad. I don't think

we'll be having any more cats. Mrs R explained it beautifully to the Little Guy; she said that if we went out and got another cat right away, it would be like cats were replaceable...that we had to honor Sneets by letting his spirit live as the "cat of the house" for a while.

This may not work well as written, but it was great when she spoke it.

Redstone

[Haole Girl]

39. Aww

..no, it sounds perfect in its written form. too. She sounds wise. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[idgiehkt]

36. it might even be a good idea to have a small funeral

kids need to process grief about this stuff. I was thinking yesterday about a kitten I had when I was eight. My father left the garage door open (that was where she stayed at night) and she got out. I remember the way we knew was she had stepped in some paint and there were little lavender kitten footprints all the way down the driveway. We couldn't find her and later on that day it started to rain really hard. We were inside and my grandfather was babysitting us, and then our golden retriever appeared out of the woods carrying something black in his mouth. It was my kitten, and she was probably dead at that point, although I will never know for sure because my grandfather wouldn't let us kids go outside to find out because it was raining so hard. We erupted into tears, all four of us kids, just wailing as my golden retreiver walked up to the patio and gently laid her limp body down on the concrete. I guess he had followed her scent until he found her, that was an amazing dog; he would never have harmed her either...she must have been killed by another animal or hit by a car or something. My parents put her body in the burn tin with the rest of the trash. I'll never forget walking by that trash pile a few weeks later and finding a tiny black paw lying there. I just picked it up and held it in my hand for the longest time.

[Redstone]

51. That was a good dog you had. We'll not make a big deal out of it, but you

may be right about a small ceremony. We've already decided to bury him next to the dog we lost three years ago.

And I thank you for the thoughtful post.

Redstone

[wildhorses]

26. sorry redstone--and sorry about the copycat

let me just find a hole and crawl in it

[Redstone]

33. I told you you're forgiven. Maybe you can get the mods to delete it.

Redstone

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

27. Oh man, Redstone. That sucks.

I had a pet cat poisoned (purposely) when I was about 8 or 9. I've lost a few pets in my life. It's always really hard.

:hug:

[bullwinkle428]

31. Redstone, maybe this site will help you and your family deal with this -

http://www.pet-loss.net/

I lost a cat to illness last year on Christmas night, and was completely torn up inside over it, so I know exactly what they're going through. It sounds hard now, but things will start to feel better with time... :hug:

[Redstone]

34. That's an excellent web page, and I feel good that I told my son all those things already.

Redstone

[reyd reid reed]

40. Oh, geeeeze....

I'm sorry, Redstone. I'm sorry for what you and your family are going through and it must have been horrible to find the poor kitty but better you than Redstone, Jr. or Mrs. R. Does that sound callous? I hope not.

It's hard to be the constantly strong, ever-ready shoulder to cry on when the shit flies. Makes it hard to concentrate on anything and...

I wish there was something I could do. I do know how you feel, though.

I'm sorry.

:hug::hug::hug:

[Redstone]

47. No, it's not callous at all. You're right; better me than either of them. I can handle it.

Thank you yet again, m'dear.

Redstone

[cwydro]

41. oh damn, sorry to hear that

Condolences. I love all my furfaces so much.:hug:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

42. My dear Redstone.........

My deepest condolences to all of you.........How dreadful......:grouphug:

[kedrys]

43. Awwww Redstone

I'm so very sorry... :cry: :hug:

[Generic Brad]

45. Get him another cat as soon as possible

Sure, it will not be the same. But it may take some of the sting out for them. So sorry to hear this happened and your family is taking it so hard.

[merh]

46. ((( Redstone Family )))

So sorry, my friend.

Hugs for you and yours :grouphug:




RIP Sneets :(

[Redstone]

48. His official name was Willis, but as soon as my sonbrought him home, I renamed him

(as I tend to do with pets), and within a month he was "Sneets" to everyone. Including him. It just fit.

Reply or PM with an update on how you're making out these days, would you please? Any progress on the dome?

Redstone

[merh]

54. I like Sneets better than Willis :)

Give yourself and your boy and MrsR time, it will get better and I do like what MrsR told your son about the cat's spirit. :)

Keep your fingers crossed on the dome, it's so close, so very close. I may know more tomorrow evening or by this weekend.

I haven't given up yet, it very well could happen. :bounce:

Thanks for asking and as soon as I know more, I'll let you know. :hug:

[Gormy Cuss]

50. Hugs all around

The Little Guy being upset is hard on both you and Mrs. R, but remember that it's good for him to mourn the loss of his buddy this way. He's a child with a big heart.

[Redstone]

52. Yes, this cat was his first animal pal. He was only six when our last dog died, so he

hadn't really bonded with her.

I'll be paying close attention to him over the next few days, you can bet on that. And making sure he spends lots of time with the puppy. You know, he was really good about continuing to pay attention to the cat so the cat didn't feel "replaced" by the puppy. This is a big loss for him.

Thank you for your words.

Redstone

[Flaxbee]

55. Poor little Sneets. I'm sorry about the chaos.

Perhaps a burial ceremony (as suggested by the poster who had what sounded like a wonderful golden retriever) will help - you can plan it, and then say you're avaible to talk about it later that night (or the next day, or whatever) and you want to talk to your son(s) about it, etc., but later, after everyone has had time to think about it (and after you've gotten your work done). Now that your son is a little older, it might not hurt for him to think about what death is (at least for pets) - it's going to happen with pets all throughout his life and maybe now if he can decide in his mind where they go, etc., he'll be able to cope with it better.

Or, postpone the burial until Saturday and tell your youngest son to draw a picture for Sneets or something to go into the box/grave/whatever.

I feel like I'm just talking outta my ass - I've never been in the situation you're in right now. Just trying to think of things to keep everyone else busy and comforted while you work. Good luck with everything. It doesn't sound like the next 24-48 hours will be easy.

[Redstone]

59. You are absolutely NOT "talking out of your ass." Excellent suggestons.

Thank you.

Redstone

[NewWaveChick1981]

60. OMG, that's heartbreaking.

:hug: :hug: I'm so sorry, Redstone. :pals: I hope it gets better soon. The death of a beloved pet is hard to take, and I know the stress is awful for you.