I'm almost at the end of my rope...

[Samurai_Writer]

In the last few weeks, my life has gone from happy and secure to a source of emotional terror, physical pain, and financial ruin. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

I work as a contractor. That means I don't get paid for holidays, vacation, sick days, snow days, etc. We've had a lot of snow recently, and I was not able to make it into work a few days last month. Also, I have had to take off to go to the dentist, as I have a gum infection and tooth that needs a root canal. Two dentists visits later, and I still don't have my tooth fixed. Then I had to take off work when my 22 year old Bronco's clutch died. I had no way to get to work for 2 days, because there was no bus service where I was at. The clutch cost $600 to replace. I also just got back from visiting family in Houston, and bought christmas presents for my mom and boyfriend before all this happened.

To make matters worse, I have a wage assignment that is going to be coming out of my next paycheck, which will leave me with zero dollars for about a month. So right now I have -250 in my checking account (had to pay for the clutch), and with absolutely no money until at least January 12th. I wasn't able to pay my rent, either.

I am faced with the fact that I'm going to be homeless in January. I have no money at all for food, or to do laundry. I have $23 in cash I'm saving for gas for my car, so I can get to work. I am trying to sell everything I have in the next few weeks to raise some money, and am going to the organizations around town that offer free meals and food pantries. But I have no idea where I will be able to live come January, except in my car. In winter. In Colorado.

Oh, did I mention tomorrow is my birthday, and I have no money to buy my nieces or sons Christmas presents? That's really minor at this point, but it still bothers me. I'm 46 years old and have worked hard all my life. A bad tooth and a bad clutch, and a couple of short paychecks, and I'm out on the streets, still in pain from the tooth and stressed so much I'm on the verge of crying every minute of every day. I really don't know what I'm going to do.

[auntAgonist]

1. I don't know what to say ...

I'm sorry, seems so lame, and how can I help is so empty... because .. I truly don't think I can help. cyber hugs aren't a cure for anything but I offer them anyway. :hug:

I'm truly at a loss for words. . . I do wish you lived closer ... I would try to do something for you.

this is so sad.

I hope for better things for you ..

aA
kesha
:grouphug:

[EnviroBat]

2. I'm sorry that you are going through all of that...

Can you get any sort of temporary public assistance? I don't know what things are like in Colorado, but here in Ohio I was able to get some money for rent when I was in a hole. I work as a contractor myself, and I'm out of a gig at the end of this month. I will never take an hourly gig again. I've lost hundreds of dollars because of billable hours. You will be in my toughts and prayers.

[LaraMN]

3. Oh, honey. You have good vibes from me!

There are so many of us that live our lives- or at least periods of them- a paycheck away from disaster. It's not fair. I know. Big hugs to you that something happens in the meantime to help your situation.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[BarenakedLady]

4. I'm so sorry

I don't know what to say.

Can't you stay with your boyfriend or family or friends?

:hug:

[Samurai_Writer]

8. I've asked my one friend here...

I haven't heard back from her yet. I don't want to ask my boyfriend -- we've only been dating for three months and we both have said we don't want to live with each other for a long while yet. I would hate to force the issue just because of finances. I really don't want to ask my sister -- she has a husband and two kids in a small house already, and it would just make me feel that much worse if she even knew what was going on.

[amitten]

10. You should rely on the kindness of family/friends if possible.

Pride and all that B.S. doesn't matter when you're facing homelessness. If I had a boyfriend or a family member in your situation, I wouldn't hesitate to offer them a place to stay.

People understand if you've had multiple unforeseen problems that rob you of all your savings. It's a streak of bad luck and if you allow yourself to accept help from others, you'll pull through.

[Samurai_Writer]

15. Well my boyfriend is not answering his cell phone

I think he's turned it off so he doesn't have to talk me right now. I'm hoping my one friend will come through, or that my landlord will help me out.

[Samurai_Writer]

33. Update: My boyfriend called me

But I couldn't talk because I was at work. He said he would call me back later when he got off work.

[Midlodemocrat]

5. Can you explain things to your landlord and ask for an extension?

Ask that you will make up the late rent over a period of time?

I'm so sorry for you that you are doing through this.

[Samurai_Writer]

7. I am going to talk to my landlord tonight

She's also my housemate. I live in an apartment in her house, way up in the mountains. She would have a hard time renting this apartment at this time of year. So I'm hoping we can work something out, but I have to make plans in case we can't.

[miss_american_pie]

6. I'm sorry

:hug:

[ismnotwasm]

9. I'm so sorry

I wish I could help in some way.

[belladonna]

11. I feel so bad for you right now

It sounds like you're having the kind of year I had, sweetie. The only good thing I can tell you is that, finally, things are starting to get better around here. Still keeping my fingers crossed that the next disaster is a long way down the road and that we'll be in a position to handle it when it rolls around. It's such a bad feeling knowing how close most of us are to the edge most of the time, especially sinct that asshole took office in 2000.

Talk to your landlord and just take it a day at a time, sweetie. My advice sounds so trite, I know. But that's the only way we were able to get through this year... getting up every day and putting one foot in front of the other and trying our damnedest to get through the mire. Extra hugs for you today :hug: :hug: :hug:

[graywarrior]

12. Man, I've been there myself a few times.

Wish the hell I could help you out somehow. I know in some state, if you go to the town or city office, they can give you one month's emergency rent money paid directly to your landlord.

There are so many of us who live on the edge, paychecks never enough to handle emergency situations. I really hope this crunch passes for you. And I doubt you boyfriend will let you become homeless.

[wildhorses]

13. i am sorry to read this. i hope that something or someone

comes through for you :hug:

[xiamiam]

14. came from the photography group to post something to you...

i just want you to have faith in yourself...sometimes when we are sick we lose our natural balance...you wouldnt be here( at du) if you didnt care about others...and while i dont know you, i surmise that...which pretty much makes you a good person..i've been recovering from a difficult physical problem, and i learned along the way...that i didnt want to give strength to the situation i was in..so i refused to answer the phone and talk about the present..i just kept trying to remember the me that was inside responding to the present, trying to find her again...and believe me, she was one scared cookie...and a little voice kept telling me to love and like myself..and KNOW, that like all the other situations in my life...there would be a way...thats one thing about aging and maturing, you just know that there will be supply because that is ultimately your intention...and sometimes things seem to maneuver us away from our intention, but if we just step out of the way..and believe in the grace of our own higher good, that too will come to pass...i know it sounds like cosmic mumbo jumbo and please forgive, if it appears i'm not expressing the compassion and concern for your present situation..i get it..but i also get that you are transitioning thru a time which will pass...
bless you and i hope you are bombarded with miracles of your highest and greatest good...

[plcdude]

16. Hold on

I am sending you some Christmas magic keep your eyes open for this.

[Samurai_Writer]

17. Thanks for the good thoughts...

I'm not a Christian, though.

[Connonym]

18. Words aren't adequate

This is awful. I'm so sorry.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

19. Oh, yes, I've been there

It is truly scary. One month about twelve years ago, I was so poor (having lost a major customer) that I couldn't even buy stamps to send out invoices, and I was living off the cans of soup in the cupboard. (Since then, I have always kept eight or ten cans of soup on hand.)

Did you know that I found a book of stamps on the sidewalk? It's never happened before or since. I used one to send an invoice to a client who always paid promptly (and who required paper invoices with an original signature), and I ended up with just enough to cover my rent.

May you have similar good luck out of nowhere.

[superconnected]

20. How much do you need for rent radfem?

[Samurai_Writer]

21. $885

That's $800 for rent and $85 for utilities. I pay it altogether, because my housemate just splits the utility bills among the five of us living here.

[superconnected]

25. Well. I also am living pay check to pay check but I think I can swing it.

My only issue is I also don't work the week of christmas or get paid for it since I'm a contractor and that week my work is closed.

Can anybody else help too? I can do it all if I have to.

Haven't bought presents yet but I think helping someone pay rent is more important. :)

[Samurai_Writer]

29. Not getting paid for Christmas -- I hear that

I am not getting paid for Christmas or New Years either -- and they require we take 4 days off. Please don't think you need to give me the entire amount. Any little bit would help. I really do appreciate it, and the others who have offered to help. Even though it's killing my pride to accept it, I am realistic enough to not refuse it.

[superconnected]

27. Okay radfem, for now I'll commit to if. If anyone else can help

you can volenteer through email.

Radfem, we can handle this through email, I can paypal it to you by jan 1.

I'm cool with doing this instead of giving presents this year.

best,

Kelly

[Lisa0825]

35. I can help some when I get my Dec 31st paycheck...

I had some financial struggles myself recently, but expect to be all caught up the end of this month. Helping a kitty stay with his mom is such a good cause that I couldn't pass it up :hug:

[superconnected]

72. That's how I feel. It's a very good cause.

So far $350 has been donated for this and I can make up the difference.

Let's all not forget Octoberains little boy either!

Kelly

[SPKrazy]

38. Is There A PayPal Account?

If there is a link

:hi:

[Samurai_Writer]

39. I don't have a paypal account

You'd have to mail me a check. That's asking a lot, I know. IM me for the name and address if you want.

[Hosnon]

47. My fiance has been asking me what I want for XMas...set this up and I'll funnel the money.

It may not be much but I'll do what I can.

[Midlodemocrat]

62. I'll help. Let me know.

This is really shitty. I'm sorry.

[LibraLiz1973]

77. I can help, just tell me how Super

(Paypal I hope, since it is so easy for me to do)

[mdmc]

22. happy birthday ... courage

I went through the same thing back in 2001. Well, not the same thing; I was able to rely on my family. Without my family, I would not have been able to do it.

Courage.

I would go to my church and ask for help - not sure if that is an option for you.

Ask for help. Have faith. There are millions of people that are doing as well or worse then you are. Far worse, in fact.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and low stress,

mdmc

[superconnected]

23. You guys there are options in cases like this

I've been so close that I know what you mean radfem. I'm a contractor too. It only takes a few normal incidents to happen - snow etc. - and then there is not enough money.

btw, I've never knocked on church doors but my brother has when he ran out of gas in another state when he was younger. They gave him the money. Even if you're not Christian, they do tend to help people. That's the 3rd place I think I would go. 1st family, 2nd my landlord and explain the circumstance, 3rd walk up to church after church and I wouldn't stop until I've walked up to at least 10 if I coudln't get money from 9.

Anyway, I bet some of us on DU can help you out. I hope you will let us.

Nearly all of us here, I'm sure, have been there, close to there, or are there right now.

[BlueIris]

24. Dear Lord. I'm really, really sorry.

I don't know what to say other than, "Go to anyone and everyone you can think of for help," and that I would help if I could.

[Dora]

26. go to Modest Needs to ask for assistance

http://www.modestneeds.org/

[Samurai_Writer]

40. Thanks for the link

I applied with them. Hope to hear from them in the next few days.

[Lyric]

28. I feel your pain, and I'm so sorry. :(

We're in a similar situation here. My partner lost her job last summer. She found another one (at Olive Garden, ack) but not before we wound up 2 months behind on bills. We have this budget-plan thing for our utilities, and the moment we missed a payment, the whole balance came due. Nevermind that we'd been reliable and on-time with every payment for several years.

It's hard for us. Due to some pretty severe health issues, I can't work right now, and my partner is a college student who can only work 4 days a week while school is in session. We are now 2 months behind on the rent--we got a letter from the landlord about it today. We're begging him to refrain from tossing us out, because she'll get her student loan disbursement for Spring in early January, so we're giving him $100 a week to try and hold off eviction until we get the cash to catch everything up. Thank goodness our rent is cheap--even 2 months behind is only about $400.

But the most dire thing is the heat. We haven't been able to pay a penny on the natural gas bill in 2 months. We haven't gotten the termination notice yet, but it's only a matter of time. It'll likely come early next week. We've been spending every penny on keeping the rent from getting too far behind, the electricity on, the car insurance paid, gas in the tank, and food on the table (I get Food Stamps, but not enough to last the whole month).

And we haven't bought a single thing for our 6 year old little boy for Christmas. We signed him up for the Salvation Army's Angel Tree back in November, because we were afraid that we'd be broke come Christmas and have no cash for presents. We only just managed to get our Christmas tree out of storage today, because the owner of the mini-storage unit felt sorry for us--even though we're months behind on that, he unlocked it long enough for us to get our artificial tree and ornaments out. And he's being kind enough to refrain from throwing away our stored stuff until we can catch him up in January.

I feel like an utter failure at the moment. I don't talk about this stuff here much, because it's humiliating. I just keep telling myself, hold on until January. But it's hard. Especially when Christmas is coming in a couple of weeks, knowing we have to find a way to get the kidlet something. We've sold nearly everything we own of value, except a painting that we can't find a buyer for. I hope to God somebody is kind enough to pick his name from that Angel Tree. *sigh*

Anybody interested in buying a James O'Barr (artist and creator of "The Crow") original painting? It's titled "Nevermore". We bought it 2 years ago for $250. I'll sell it for less, if I have to.

[grasswire]

30. a six year old boy with no Christmas?

Come on, DU. Surely we can help with this.

[lildreamer316]

36. I've put out some feelers...

I'll keep you posted.
I myself am not quite in a position to help,but will be glad to organize some toys being sent, or whatever we can come up with.
Let's brainstorm.....

[Lyric]

37. Anybody who wants to send my little boy things for Christmas

will have my willing participation and eternal gratitude. I hate it that this job-loss and the aftermath has been so damned hard on him.

If anyone has any decent outgrown boy's clothes (size 7-8, or child's medium) those would also be appreciated. We can wrap them up as gifts, so he has more to open on Christmas morning.

PM me if you want/need more information.

And thank you. Truly.

[Midlodemocrat]

63. Check your PM.

:hug:

[Lyric]

66. I just replied. Thank you....

:hug:

[Why Syzygy]

48. some one will

choose his name. You're on your own, but the child will have Christmas. Step back.

[Lyric]

69. I've been looking at your comment and trying to decide

how to interpret it.

Are you being critical? What should I "step back" from? I'm a little hurt and a lot confused, and I'd very much appreciate an explanation of what you meant.

[hedgehog]

80. I think he means step back so you don't get buried by the response.

I can't help right now, but I'm sure some people here are going to be able to.

[Lyric]

83. Ooooh, okay. *blush*

I thought he was criticizing me for mentioning our situation on someone else's "help" thread. My deepest apologies if I misread that.

[qanda]

52. What does your little boy want or like?

Perhaps some on DU can help make his Christmas very happy.

[Darth_Kitten]

68. You are not a failure.......

bad things happen to good people. Nobody should feel ashamed because they are vulnerable. We ALL are to some extent.

:hug:

P.S. maybe call the gas company and see if you can make an arrangement, ANY arrangement. Good luck.

[Lyric]

71. We are trying. Thank you for being concerned. *hugs*

We hope they will agree to take small "good faith" amounts until January, especially considering that we heat and cook with natural gas, and have a small child in the home.

[LibraLiz1973]

78. PM me with your childs sizes oktoberain

as well as some toys he might like & I will be more than happy to send you something. Dont forget to include the address.

Happy Holidays!!

[coffeenap]

86. Hi--please check your pm. Best wishes, c.

[grasswire]

31. did you try the Salvation Army?

They often can help out with rent and utilities.

[Fla Dem]

32. Sorry for your troubles. Can you turn to family or boyfriend

Not sure of your personal situation regarding your relationship with your family. But you did mention just visiting them in Houston and buying a gift for your Mom. So it would at least seem as if you have a reasonably good relationship with her. Could you stay with her for a while, just until you get back on your feet? Or what about the boyfriend you mentioned? Are you close enough to stay with him? Seems as if either of these options are better than being out on the street.

[Samurai_Writer]

34. I have a job here in Boulder

So I can't just up and move to Houston to live with my mom. I've been searching for a job in Houston in my field for the past five years, and have yet to find one that isn't a 3 month contract job. The job I have here is long-term (12 month renewable contract) and pays pretty good. I just have had a few setbacks. Normally I would be OK.

I really don't want to ask my boyfriend about moving in because we almost broke up last weekend. We talked it through and seem to be OK, but I don't want to pressure him into a living arrangement because of a financial situation. I want to live with him when we are both ready for a commitment. Neither of us has said "I love you" to each other yet.

My best bet is to talk to over with my housemate, and if that doesn't work, to see if my friend will let me stay at her place for a while.

[grasswire]

41. I agree that making a relationship decision based on financial need...

....is very unwise for a woman. Too many women in history have had to choose unsafe or unstable situations because they had nowhere to go. Let's hope for something better.

[Haole Girl]

42. ...

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

Will you please keep us posted?

[SeattleGirl]

43. I wish so much that I could help you right now.

All I have to offer are positive thoughts and light to you, as my financial situation isn't a lot better than yours. But I will definitely send the positive thoughts and light your way, and hope that you get through this period without losing your home or anything else.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Beaverhausen]

44. I'm kicking this for others to see

and so I can find it tomorrow and see how I can help out. :hug:

[u4ic]

45. I'm so sorry, RadFemFL

As I'm not in your country, I have no idea what resources could be available to you.

All I can do is offer my sincere hope that things will work out for you. :hug:

[Codeblue]

46. Sorry

Makes the problems I've been facing seem rather minor in comparison. I can't imagine being homeless. Especially here in the winter. I always feel so bad for those people caught out in the street when the temps hit below zero numbers. Sorry I can't offer anything substantial besides my sincere hope that things get better for you and my good wishes.

[question everything]

49. I am so sorry to hear this. Can you ask for help from family?

You say that you have nieces, can their parents help you?

Don't worry about Christmas presents now, as much as it saddens you. Please, please ask for a loan from the parents of these nieces and perhaps they can get something small for them on your behalf.

You need all the courage to pull yourself out of this misery and this is what family is for. If you love your nieces so much, their parents should appreciate you and should be able to loan you the money until you can be back on the saddle.

[auntAgonist]

50. kick

[leftofthedial]

51. I'm so sorry.

I know what you're going through.

Do you have family or friends who can help?

[Samurai_Writer]

53. For those who have generously offered to help

I can't use paypal, because my checking account is overdrawn, and if you send money, it will just go towards that balance, and I won't be able to give my landlord anything. So if you can, just send me a check, which I can sign over either to my landlord directly, or I'll sign it over to my friend and she will give me the cash for it. Thanks. PM me if you want my address.

[philosophie_en_rose]

54. Get emergency funds from public assistance office.

1. Research the social services in your town. There are people that help in these situations.
2. Ask family and friends for loans.
3. Call local charities, churches, civic groups, community centers.
4. Ask a bank for a microloan. (a bank - not one of those Dollar Tree places)
5. Sign up for a present tree. That way, your sons have a little extra

[Samurai_Writer]

56. Thanks for your suggestions

1. Research the social services in your town. There are people that help in these situations.

I'm doing that right now.

2. Ask family and friends for loans.

I've asked my friends, but they can't help me. My mom can't help me. If there's no alternative, I'll ask my sister. But I really don't want to do that, as it will cause problems between her and her husband.

3. Call local charities, churches, civic groups, community centers.

I'm going to food banks and places offering free meals. I will start calling today to see what other help is available. I can't just drive around to these places, I have to save my gas for work.

4. Ask a bank for a microloan. (a bank - not one of those Dollar Tree places)

My credit isn't good enough for this option.

5. Sign up for a present tree. That way, your sons have a little extra

My sons are grown, so they will understand if I can't get them anything. It just sucks that I can't.

[anarch]

55. I can only give you sympathy and good luck wishes

because I'm kind of constantly in a similar situation. As others have said, it's just not right that so many of us live like this, with no safety net if just one or two little things go wrong. Anyway, I know there are good people here and probably elsewhere in your life who will help, and I wish you the best of luck.

[xultar]

57. I love you. Some one out there loves you. PM me.

[Samurai_Writer]

58. UPDATE: Talked to my landlord

She is going to let me stay. I told her that I had some friends that were sending some money so I could pay her something, and she was really nice about it. She gave me some food, too, so I wouldn't have to spend gas to go down to the food pantry today. Wanted to let everyone know at least I will be able to stay here and won't have to put Sterling up for adoption.

[Beaverhausen]

59. Great news! Your landlord is a good person

please PM me your address- I want to help. I'm so glad you get to keep Sterling. :hug:

[Lisa0825]

60. GREAT NEWS!!!!

I'm so happy she is giving you some time!

[u4ic]

61. Super!

:toast:

[booksenkatz]

64. (Jumping for joy) This is great news! But I'm still sending...

some cat food for Sterling -- since my kitty had to be put to sleep last month, I have all of this great food that Sterling will love! I'll throw in a few things for you, too. When you're in a bad place, every little bit helps. I've been there. I'm not in a great place right now, but it's better than some. Expect a box from Michigan, will send it priority on Monday.:)

I'm just so happy to read this good news... hang in there, it will get better!

[SeattleGirl]

65. That is great news, Rad

I'm happy that your landlord is understanding of your situation, and is willing to let you stay in your home.

[lildreamer316]

67. THIS is GREAT!!!

I'm so glad for you!!!:hug:

[Blue-Jay]

70. Good news, and best wishes.

I hope everything turns out better than you dare hope for.

:pals:

[superconnected]

73. Wonderful news. Absolutely wonderful.

See this is coming together!

Kelly

[superconnected]

Wonderful news. Absolutely wonderful.

See this is coming together!

Kelly

[superconnected]

74. my internet must be very slow for me to have clicked it 3 times.

Wow, 3 dupes.

[NewWaveChick1981]

75. I'm so sorry for your troubles, but that is great news!

:hi: :hug: I really hope it gets better soon. :pals:

[SPKrazy]

79. Good Deal

glad to hear it!

:hi:

[Maestro]

82. That is great news.

It's nice to see that some landlords have a heart. I hope this gives you some breathing room to work things out.

[lumberingbear]

76. Sorry for this bad news

:hug:

[nam78_two]

81. kick.nt

[LibraLiz1973]

84. Kicking

[coffeenap]

85. Check your PM, please. Best wishes. nt