just how slow is it around here, anyway?

[wildhorses]

[NewWaveChick1981]

1. Other: Like watching paint dry.

:rofl: :hi: We need to liven this joint up!

[wildhorses]

4. fire when ready

i got your back :hi:

[Radio_Lady]

37. "Ready when you are, C.B.!"

Um, this is an old joke about the movie industry. The C.B. is Cecil B. De Mille. For more information, you can check your local joke registry.

(On edit: You want ME to find it? OK, I'll try. Sheesh, you guys expect me to do EVERYTHING, don't you?)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Old Show Biz Jokes

Do you know these old jokes? They are a couple of my favorites; they just seem to hit the nail on the head, sometimes. . .

Ready when you are, C.B.!

The story is told that Cecil B. deMille, director of great epics, was preparing to shoot a massive battle scene. Multiple cameras had been placed to capture the expensive sequence. It could only be done once, and they wanted to capture every conceivable angle for safety. On the yell of "ACTION!", all hell broke loose! Troops stormed across the field, guns blazing! Horses tripped and lost their riders as explosions went off around them! Thousands of blanks and pyrotechnic charges blew up! Towers toppled! Men fell dead! It was an amazing, ferocious battle! The biggest one ever shot!

"CUT!", yelled C.B., when he was satisfied. The smoke began to clear. "How did it look? Camera One?"

"Uh, we didn't get the shot, sir. The film broke."

"WHAT! The film broke, oh Jesus! Well, then, how about you, Camera Two?"

"Well, sir, a dirt clod got kicked into the lens by a horse's hoof and... we didn't get anything good, sir...."

"Christ! What a nightmare!" cried C.B. "Camera Three, did you get anything?....Well, did you?"

"Sorry to report, C.B., but one of the towers fell on our camera. It is kaput!"

"This can't be happening!" wailed C.B. "Camera Four! Camera Four! How are you?...Camera four?"

The operator at Camera Four popped his head up from his camera, smiled broadly, gave the "thumbs up" sign, and said:

"Ready when you are, C.B.!"

[wildhorses]

43. that would be me--camera 4 ready and waiting---

:patriot::rofl:



that is classic R_L, thanks:)

[Radio_Lady]

44. "Camera 4, we're counting on you. Camera 4? WTF, are you sleeping?"

[wildhorses]

51. well, that dang skinner is snoring

and my 'pooter is trying to download some kinda update...

[plcdude]

2. don't rush me

I'm thinking about this.

[wildhorses]

6. you have all the time you need

threads will still be here---same time same place---next year :hi:

[gemma]

3. what happened? ....

[plcdude]

5. are you

that new?

[wildhorses]

7. am i the first to

welcome you to the LOUNGE? :hi:

[gemma]

10. thanks

[wildhorses]

12. your welcome

and excuse me while i duck :hide:

























sorry plcdude

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

8. ha-ha, you're new.

just kidding...welcome aboard!!!
:toast:

[gemma]

9. is the boat too full now? ...

[wildhorses]

11. always room for one more

just sit right back and you'll hear a tale...

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

14. you're sitting on my foot

[wildhorses]

16. oh excuse me--here have a beer

:beer:

[cwydro]

63. Let me also welcome you!

Sorry, didn't notice your post earlier, was still kakking over WH's poll...

Welcome to DU!:hi:

[gemma]

65. thank you

[Connonym]

13. For your entertainment -- order early to avoid disappointment

Fur jockstrap for men.
Available in rabbit or tibetan lamb.

If desired, we can add a tail of fox, mink, wolverine, coyote, or lynx. Use the Contact Us link to request a quote.

http://arcticbluegifts.com/ABG/catalog/product_304_Mens_fur_jockstrap.html

[wildhorses]

17. hubba hubba

:woohoo:











you should post this in lionesspriyanka's HOT picture thread!!!

[azmouse]

21. whoa!

For some reason I find that very... disturbing! :yoiks:

[MrCoffee]

28. the fur rubs right off that thing. trust me.

[wildhorses]

31. i have this strange desire to pet the kitty

how very odd :evilgrin:

[MrCoffee]

33. touch my monkey! touch him! love him!

[BarenakedLady]

38. Oh don't make me take out my monkey again

:rofl:

[wildhorses]

45. shit, now i want to spank the monkey

good lord, i knew i shouldn't have dumped TheSmoker...he did have one thing going for himself:evilgrin:

[BarenakedLady]

46. This should cure you

Go ahead and spank it.

:rofl:

[wildhorses]

52. now that i want to slap!!!

slap the chimp...oh that i could!!! :patriot:

[SPKrazy]

66. Ahhhhhhhhhh!

That's enough to make me :puke: :puke: :puke:

no spanking for me either

[cwydro]

15. I picked the turtle option

because I like turtles. Have you seen that commercial for high speed internet with the turtle couple? I love that!

[wildhorses]

18. don't think so--don't watch much TV--sounds like a good premise

though --- did you get a new avatar? :hi:

[cwydro]

19. Well, I had the donkey to celebrate the election

but I'm training for the Seven Mile Bridge Race in April, so this one seemed appropriate. I really want to upload my own, but I seem incapable of such advanced activities for some reason.:shrug:

[wildhorses]

22. don't you just copy and paste the url

the same place where you had the donkey?


says the one who has NO avatar :rofl:

[cwydro]

24. Yep, I have tried that...

I must be doing something wrong...need to PM the magical Elad I suppose...

Yeah woman, what's up wif dat? How come you got no avatar?

[wildhorses]

25. i am a commitment phobe

phober, phobiatic, phobemeister, phobster...you get the picture :shrug:

[cwydro]

59. Yes, I think that is me also

I change avatars frequently:rofl:

[MrCoffee]

20. as slow as the service in the smoking section of Olive Garden

[wildhorses]

23. especially when accompanied by breast feeding mothers

and cellphone users :hi:

[BarenakedLady]

27. There is no smoking section

at the Olive Garden, silly.

Oh wait, I guess that's not true everywhere..........yet.

[MrCoffee]

29. is that why people were hurling breadsticks at me?

i thought they were mad at my kids.

[BarenakedLady]

30. It could be that too

I bet it would be fun to hurl breadsticks at you. :D

[BarenakedLady]

26. I'm sorry...

I had to go to a parent/teacher conference and pick up some kids and drive one to horseback riding. But I'm back and ready to post!

What should I post? hmmmmmm:shrug:

[wildhorses]

32. hell, post anything

you know like that movie--say anything





or like the nike commercial--just do it












good to see you :hi:

[BarenakedLady]

36. I got nothin'

That isn't overtly raunchy. I'm trying to behave.

Good to see you too. :hi:

[billyskank]

34. God, you should have seen it this morning (from my perspective)

:boring:

[wildhorses]

40. it was bad last night too...

i tried to crank it up but, it is a different crowd around here at night :wtf:

[billyskank]

41. I'm really glad you're around though

I had been missing you lately. :hug:

:yourock:

[wildhorses]

49. ahh-- billyskank, thanks for that

it is good to know :hug:


i owe you guys a thread about my trip to the mtns and the jewelry show...

the pics are NOT cooperating...you know what a technonard i am...

and i used disposable cameras and they messed up the disks when the developed them and now i have to scan them and guess what...















i have never used my scanner:blush:






i told MissHoneybutt that i would scan them today but did i???




well....did i???

























no, i didn't















:yoiks:

[billyskank]

50. LOL

We forgive you :hug:

[Radio_Lady]

35. Wild horses couldn't get me to vote in that poll...

No, these kind...

[wildhorses]

39. aren't they gorgeous creatures?

and things are starting to pick up ...finally!!!


thanks for posting :hi:

[BarenakedLady]

42. Damn

It is slow. I may have to actually go do something constructive if this keeps up. :(

[billyskank]

47. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

:scared:

:cry:


:hug: ;)

[BarenakedLady]

48. Oh....

You are back....hmmmm....well, that changes things entirely. :evilgrin:

[billyskank]

53. Heh heh

;)

[BarenakedLady]

54. Oh it's ok

I'm folding laundry. It's all good. }(

[billyskank]

55. Is that a euphemism?

:D

[BarenakedLady]

58. Yup

....for folding laundry...blech x(

[sarge43]

56. A though crossing Bush's mind

A customer service assistant will be with you momentarily.

Your traffic lane (the other one is zipping right along)

The first cup of coffee in the morning brewing

Your dog finding a suitable place to pee

Your spouse or SO getting around to that chore

And (drum roll) the classic - the check's in the mail

[wildhorses]

60. oh THOSE are very good!!

:applause: :hi:

[sarge43]

62. Thank you, thank you. n/t

[graywarrior]

57. REV's not here to stir things up.

[wildhorses]

61. she does seem to stir quite nicely

i notice she seems to keep you all stirred up or perhaps steamed up or rather....










have you noticed
























how HOT it gets when she is in here:P


where do YOU ALL get those pictures *my oh my*

[graywarrior]

64. You mean these?

[wildhorses]

67. Yeah--

those would be the ones :woohoo: