Do you care if your SO opens mail addressed to you?

[ohiosmith]

[SeattleGirl]

1. Yes. Not because I have something to hide, but I think it's

disrespectful. I don't open his mail either. We've always been that way.

[AllegroRondo]

2. No. Its probably just bills anyway

or credit card offers.

[BarenakedLady]

3. Let's not talk about that particular issue

I'm still fucking pissed off. :grr:

[ohiosmith]

5. Tell us. Please do.

[billyskank]

7. No. Let's not.

[ohiosmith]

13. It wouldn't have anything to do with some missing batteries would it?

[billyskank]

14. No.

[miss_american_pie]

37. ...

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

41. Thank you sweetie

:hug:

[Zavulon]

4. As long as I know I'm free to open hers, she can open mine. (NT)

[Broken_Hero]

6. Nope it doesn't matter to me

on edit:I usually have to open the mail, and deal with the bills 99.9% of the bills...adn whenever somebody sends us money, or a payment for anything, I usually try and get it in my name, because if its in my wife's name, it will never get cashed, because Bankers Hours suck....

[YellowRubberDuckie]

22. Our bank is open from 8-8 week days...

And Saturdays. Then Sundays are open 12-4. I love my bank.
Duckie

[Broken_Hero]

36. Ours sucks...

open from 8-4:30...my wife doesn't get off work until 5:30, so if we get a check/money order in her name, we have to wait until saturday, when our bank is open from 9-12. Its quite a pain sometimes, because it always seems, that when we need the money the most, we get that check on a monday, and have to go out of our way, to cash it(if its her name that is)...

[Midlodemocrat]

8. Yup. He travels and I pay the bills.

If I didn't open the ones that come in the mail, we'd be in big trouble.

[Xithras]

9. Not a bit.

I personally cannot think of a single legitimate reason to hide things from my wife. She's welcome to read anything that comes in for me.

[MrCoffee]

10. no. i hate opening mail.

it's one of those things that annoys the crap out of me.

[belladonna]

11. If I didn't open his, it'd never get opened

I don't really care one way or another if he opens mine... all I really get is bills anyway :(

[Ariana Celeste]

16. Same here

[bigwillq]

12. Yes. It doesn't have his name on it.

Mind your business.

[retread]

15. No. n/t

[Ariana Celeste]

17. no i don't

[Lyric]

18. I don't mind at all.

All of our mail is "Our Mail", no matter whose name is on the envelope. She also checks my e-mail, and I check hers. 8 years of being happy together tends to bring that level of comfort and closeness. :)

[trof]

19. No, but she doesn't.

[SoyCat]

20. No, I don't mind because he only opens things that are not private correspondence. Letters are

left alone until I pass them to him to read anyway!

He's always wanted me to read his mail.

[6000eliot]

21. Very much so.

He thinks we're joined at the hip as it is. I'd like to maintain some sense of a separate identity.

[China_cat]

23. Yes, after growing up with a grandmother

who never allowed me any privacy and then an abusive ex who did the same, it really upsets me if anyone else opens my mail...even the junk mail. It just turns that feeling on of not being allowed to be anything but a possession.

[montanto]

24. Yes . . .

not because I have any secrets, but she'll open anything that looks like a check and then say "we'll use this for . . ." while her bank accounts are hers. Boils down to hers is hers and mine is hers.

[mondo joe]

25. No - we do it all the time. For household related mail anyway.

I don't think we'd open personal mail to the other. But anything else, yeah.

[RetroLounge]

26. Nope. We open each other's mail

unless we see it's a personal letter or card or something.

never been an issue in 12 years.

RL

(of course, she's not really my SO anymore, so this may change)

[QMPMom]

27. It doesn't bother me at all.

[SPKrazy]

28. YES

my other, is not to open my mail, e-mail, etc.

why?

because she is not so significant now.

even less so.

and it's not hers

[InvisibleTouch]

29. Don't have an SO, but if I did...

...I would be absolutely livid. I'm big on privacy. Which is, come to think of it, why I don't have an SO. :)

[Rhythm]

30. what's this "mine" and "yours" thing...

Anything in the mailbox is "ours", and it doesn't matter who opens it.

[Robeson]

33. I agree. Even more bizzarre....

...we go out with married couples to restaurants, and when the bill comes, the couple is splitting it up between themselves, saying, "I ordered that, and you ordered this" etc., etc.,...and each are paying for what they ordered, and handing us the money. Jesus, these people are married! Don't they have a joint bank account?... :shrug:

[Flaxbee]

31. it depends. Bills are OK or any

other generic correspondence. Mail addressed jointly to us, obviously. But personal correspondence from friends or my family is off-limits until or unless I decide to share. That goes for email, too. But I don't even like to talk to friends or family on the phone if I'm in the same room with anyone else - just intensely private, I guess. Perhaps it comes from living with 5 sisters. But I also respect his privacy and wouldn't open his mail. My friends or sisters might not necessarily want my husband knowing their most intimate worries, boyfriend troubles, spousal spats, whatever. I might eyeball the "in" box to see who email is from - I don't have any problem with that, either - him knowing who I get email from. But the contents of the email, no.

edited for clarity

[reyd reid reed]

32. Yes.

It's not that I'm trying to hide anything...it's just a matter of courtesy and privacy.

I'm the same way when it comes to my dresser drawers and I was the same way about my purse.

[BarenakedLady]

39. Oh the purse!

Yes, I had anyone touching my purse. :mad:

[fizzgig]

34. when i've had an SO

there's been no reason for them to open my mail, so yes i would be a bit perturbed about it.

an ex of mine (with whom i'm no longer in contact) has a girlfriend who reads his e-mail. one night i got a nasty e-mail from her in response to an e-mail i'd sent him (i told him i had fun bowling and we should do it again) and she told me i couldn't hang out with him anymore. i went fucking postal on her and told him what i thought of her. private communication is private communication, bills or personal.

[swag]

35. Sure, of course I do. But not very much. As if she could give a shit.

[S n o w b a l l]

38. Yes....a lot

I can't understand why anyone would want to unless they were just nosy or suspicious about something. Of course if it's a utility bill or something, that's different. If we saw something come in that we were curious about, we'd ask each other.

There are certain liberties you don't take and it has to do with respecting the need to maintain yours & their own identity and independence. Marriage shouldn't be about merging into one....it's 2 people complementing/supporting one another...not taking over their lives. Allowing your spouse some privacy is important. It's the same with credit cards & checking accounts. My marriage lasted 13 yrs this way and when I divorced, at least I came out of it with my own identity and credit.

[Hugin]

40. No.

Really, I have very few secrets from anyone... Especially my SO.

[imperial jedi]

42. not at all.

whoever gets the mail opens it.