Suprise drug test tomorrow -- I'm studying tonight

[KurtNYC]

My new employer wants me to pee. They had me make the appointment so I chose tomorrow at 2pm (not exactly a "surprise" test) which should give me plenty of time to tank up on water. Smoked 2 days ago so they are likely to detect a small amount. I'm just trying to get under the limit for a positive.

I have heard aspirin is a helpful mask also.

Any experiences/stories? Advice?

[MrCoffee]

1. pickle juice

i...um...heard about it from a friend. yeah. a friend.

[Taverner]

2. Are there any big head shops in your town?

I know there are numerous products you can take the night before, or even up to 1 hour before. Go online and see the best reviews out there, and then buy the product at the head shop. Some work, some don't.

Oh and if you're up for it...you can dose up on Niacin the night before and the morning of...and I have heard of mixed sucess. Basically take 5-6 pills every hour or two hours....until the test.

[Xipe Totec]

3. You seriously need to think about trading up on employers

That's all I can think to suggest.

I'm clean, drug-wise, but I would not tolerate this kind of treatment.

But that's just me.

[KurtNYC]

5. My last employer, who shall remain nameless, was the #1 donor to Bush 2004

and it was totally worth it to them because they got a lot of laws passed that force people to use their services. My ex-boss had a picture on his desk of him standing next to B*sh 1.

I was happy to be out of there... now this.

And I have another job lined up to start in January so it won't suck too bad if I fail this thing.

[Xipe Totec]

6. I hit the poppy seed bagels heavily,

just in the hopes of throwing a false positive someday,

so I can sue their asses.

[Lisa0825]

26. That's not always economically a viable choice. nt

[Maine-ah]

4. I wish I could remember the tea I drank

and passed my test, smoking the night before. All I remember is that the box was pink, and I had to drink a whole gallon a couple of hours before the test.

[KurtNYC]

7. The research I did said most of those products are diuretics

Goldenseal used to be the big one but some labs test for THAT now. According to what I read, the huge amount of water is what gets the "pass" because the concentration of metabolites in your urine has to be above a certain ratio. More water = lower ratio.

[SammyWinstonJack]

11. GNC sells that tea and it's nasty tasting plus you have to drink a gallon of it

the morning of the test. :puke: It works though. :evilgrin:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

8. Maybe not smoking would have been a good idea?

:shrug:

[MrCoffee]

9. that's water under the bong...it's gut check time now!

[Book Lover]

12. Maybe employers ceasing their immoral and unethical nosing into

things that are none of their business would be better. :shrug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. How the hell is it immoral and unethical to want drug-free employees?!

That is just ridiculous.
Duckie

[WhollyHeretic]

15. Is it OK for your employer to search your house then as well?

[KurtNYC]

16. If they had reasonable suspicion ... but they don't they just blanket test

everyone who comes near them. I'm not even their employee. If they aren't happy with my performance, they could ding me for that. If my performance is not an issue then it shouldn't matter too much what I did last weekend.

And just look at this dusty old document:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

[SammyWinstonJack]

19. My husband's employer random tests monthly.

Which is why he doesn't partake anymore. It isn't worth his job. You could refuse the test and then they could refuse to continue your employment with them. That old dusty document is just a GD piece of paper! doncha know that? :sarcasm:

[WindRavenX]

27. if they test for pot, hell yeah its unethical

It's ridiculous good hard working people are denied a job just because they enjoy the good bud.

[Book Lover]

31. It is not my employer's business what I do when I'm not at work. Ever.

[KurtNYC]

14. I'm there as a consultant

not even trying to get on their payroll so really didn't expect this. Not that worried about them tossing me. More worried about my agency if this becomes an issue.

[Little Wing]

10. smoke crack, shoot herion, and drop 2 tablets of E

sprinkle some opium on your weed. totally blow the test out to something incredible.

[KurtNYC]

18. or just drop some of those directly into the sample

it would be like the Rodney Dangerfield joke:

"I drank so many martinis there was an olive in my urine."

[SPKrazy]

17. The Thing Is That Pot Smoked 2 Days Ago Will Be In Your System

but there is no evidence that I'm aware of that it has any affect on a person's performance of tasks after 2 days.

My opinion: pot should be legal, and we need a test for the presence of recently ingested THC, and not metabolites of cannabis that remain bonded to fatty tissue for weeks

[Little Wing]

20. 2 scenarios

System Administrator for small company. He/She's the only one. On call not 24/7 but "when it's really urgent"

SysAdmin gets a call from the way higher up one Friday night, a server's crashed, and it can be fixed remotely

Would you rather have:

A) A sysadmin who had smoked a couple blunts with friends

or

B) A sysadmin who had put away a sixpack of beer?

I'll go with A

[SPKrazy]

22. Yes, A

or B

but my point is that what someone does 2 days ago shouldn't be a factor in their job today at all.

[Little Wing]

23. Agree, absolutely

What they do after hours shouldn't affect it either, but A is far less likely to affect, and would be EVEN LESS likely to affect it if these stupid drug laws were changed. A sysadmin in jail for possession is unfortunately less effective than the alcoholic who still straggles into work 4 times a week.

[JVS]

38. I'll go with: "If you're only hiring one admin and your shit goes bad when..

the admin is getting a bit tipsy or high, that's too bad and you can either hire more people or let your employee have a life and wait until he/she is clear of head again"

[SammyWinstonJack]

28. It depends on what amount they test for. It will show up but the level might be below

what his employer test for.

[Dastard Stepchild]

21. All you ever wanted to know about drug tests...

http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing_info1.shtml
http://www.alwaystestclean.com/drug_test_myths.htm

Perhaps make a case for this should you test positive:
The widespread availability of hemp-containing products, including everything from hemp-seed oil nutritional supplements to hemp-seed candy, cookies, cheese, bread, cooking oil, and general seasoning, means that ingesting ANY of these products could potentially cause a false positive result on a test for marijuana.

[KurtNYC]

24. Thanks

erowid is where I did my research. They seem to say that water (dilution) is the best shot when you don't have time for abstinence to clean you out. I don't know if their stuff about aspirin is outdated now but some aspirin and cranberry juice will be part of breakfast tomorrow. I'm also encouraged by a poster above who says they drank a gallon of liquids and beat the test.

[conscious evolution]

25. couple of tips

1Dont pee for first time that day for test.Make sure you urinate a couple of times before going to take test.More metabolytes are in morning pee.Drink lots of water.
2Dont pee in cup for a second or two.start using toilet then go in cup.Also let last bit go in toilet.'midstream' pee will also have fewer metabolytes.

These tips worked for me when hit with a surprise test one day.

[seemunkee]

29. You need some uppers to keep you up while studying?

[BrotherBuzz]

30. Lay off the poppy seed bagels until after the test

[hedgehog]

32. I can't figure out why you need a drug test to work as a check-out clerk .

My theory is that if you can't pass a standard reflex or competency test, then the employer has a case, otherwise, forget it. The one time I saw someone get hurt on a machine at work because they were buzzed, it was a woman who had been given tranquilizers by her doctor!

For what it's worth, I don't drink, never smoked tobacco or anything else and don't even like to stay up too late because it ruins the next day. That said, I'm sick to death of what the drug control laws are doing to this country.

[kedrys]

33. For next time...

http://www.passyourdrugtest.com

Even after smoking kind of heavily, taking their "cleaning" kits and/or their crisis tabs has worked for me so far.

It's a cool site, though, and their online "counselors" actually answer their chats/emails and have good advice.

:hi:

[KurtNYC]

34. Kind of hoping there is no "next time"

I drank nearly a gallon of liquids. My urine was so pale by noon that I took a vitamin pill just to get some color back in it for the test. Did 3 aspirins also. Went for the test at 2pm.

Female doctor about 60YO with her hair slicked into a mini mohawk greets me at the desk. Looks at my signature and says I could have been a doctor with an illegible signature like that. Leads me to an exam room. About that time I am thinking maybe they are going to do a cheek swab. She tells me I can put any of my valuables into the cabinet (?!) so then I'm thinking they are going to take my clothes or something. Then she gives me a small plastic vial with an attached lid. Tells me to fill it at least to a certain line. Then points me into a small bathroom.

I go in. One entire wall is a mirror which is freaky as hell because it could easily be one-way. I got mugged while peeing in a bathroom (in LA; not NY) so I usually have trouble peeing with anyone watching or standing behind me. But this is just the possibility that they are watching or videotaping or something and my bladder is busting so I pee into the toilet first then fill the vial half full then back to the toilet. Assuming it was not a one way mirror, I could have easily substituted a friend's urine for mine in there. It would just need to be warm enough to not raise suspicion.

There is a sink with the hot water shut off. I wash my hands, exit and hand Cindy Lauper's mother the vial. She looks at it quite approvingly. Says I will hear from the lab in 2 to 3 days.

I will post the results here when I get them.

A horrible, humiliating, this-aint-America kind of experience even if I pass. They might as well put a little copy of the Constitution in each of those vials and force us all to piss on that.

[WindRavenX]

35. One day, I hope we look back on these times...

...and realize what a disgrace to the Constitution and spirit of this country these tests are.

[Jamastiene]

36. I have heard cranberry juice works like a charm.

I half thought you were going to say you were smoking now. :evilgrin: I was going to say, "Scoot on over and let me help you 'study'." :D

[KurtNYC]

37. I drank 16 oz of cranberry juice as part of the gallon

but I understand its action is strictly as a diuretic.

Am still abstaining in case they want to re-test since the sample I gave them was extremely thin. I hope I hear one way or the other before the weekend.

[eppur_se_muova]

39. Why not spike it with polonium, for some real excitement ? :D

Antistatic brushes and foils contain small amounts of polonium: http://theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Samples/084.2/index.s12.html

http://www.popsci.com/popsci/periodictable/