DU I need your help! FLVEGAN DO NOT OPEN THIS THREAD!

[LeftyMom]

Okay, since I'm sure that will keep him out, :rofl: what do I get flvegan for Christmas?

I've got him convinced that he's getting cookies and probably some pictures, but little does he know...

So the real potential presents are:

1. The Phillips Electric Nut Shaver



Upsides:
It's a lounge instant classic.
Nut jokes are easy and fun to make.
Especially when you are drinking.
Only $30.

Downsides:
Not needed.
Like that ever stopped me from giving a good gag gift- my Dad has more nose hair trimmers than nostrils thanks to me.

2. Turducken



Upsides:
Erm.... it's high in protein?

Downsides:
Corpses nested like Russian dolls could, based on conservative nitpicky interpretations, be considered non-vegan.

3. Gift certificates. Not for Target or something though. I'm a much cooler girlfriend than that. :D I'm thinking (NOT WORK SAFE) https://vegsexshop.com/ or http://www.veganerotica.com/store/

Downside:
Ever give a gift that's really more for you?

Upside:
Somehow I doubt the downside would be an issue. ;)

4. Carrots


Upsides:
They're good for you.

Downsides:
I think he'd rather eat the Turducken.
No, I do not understand this either.

Okay, let's just set those aside for the bunny. They can split some salad greens.

5. A scarf


Upsides:
I'm not saying the scarf is girly, just that he'd get so in touch with his feminine side they'd need a few minutes of privacy.

Downside:
He lives in jebbieland. It's not so cold there.

Okay, I really just wanted to post that in order to wonder why Amazon has those in men's apparel. :wtf:

6. Some book about hunting
http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/0865731209.01._PIsitb-st-arrow,TopLeft,-1,-14_OU01_SCTHUMBZZZ_V56245282_.jpg

Upside:
Could possibly contain stories of hunting accidents. :D

Downsides:
Probably not though.
Do we really want to set off the "It's not hunting. It's shooting and killing. Call it what it is." rant again? No, I thought not.

Slots 7-10 reserved for your suggestions!

[Broken_Hero]

1. Gift Certifercate seems good to me

and perhaps, a sac kings shirt/hat? I never noticed him wearing hats in any of his pics though...a gift thats region specific to you, so when he wears it, he thinks of you....:)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear LeftyMom!

I suspect the best thing you could give him for Christmas.......

Would be YOU!

Just sayin'.........:hi:

[ghostsofgiants]

3. Turducken.

"Corpses nested like Russian dolls could, based on conservative nitpicky interpretations, be considered non-vegan."

Jesus, you vegans are so picky! :P

The scarf would be hot too.

[crim son]

4. I voted for the Star Trek DVDs because I'm not sure if

HypnoToad is going to be dropping by this evening. Best post of the day, LeftyMom! :rofl:

[chknltl]

5. My imagination can not possibly top those you suggest here.

So after I stopped laughing I checked other. Flvegan is a very lucky guy indeed.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

6. You constantly educate me.

I wasn't aware of vegsexshop.com before.

Thank you.

[Kali]

7. You forgot the Olive Garden gift card.

[Ellen Forradalom]

8. How about a Tofurken?

You know, tofu stuffed inside of tofu stuffed inside of tofu.

[Robeson]

9. Star Trek DVD's, hands down....

...as long as they're TNG! :P

[Q3JR4]

10. Yay fuzzy scarfs!

:hide:

[slj0101]

11. Are you vegan or something?

I voted turducken. Dead animal flesh=yummy! :9

[Robeson]

12. To help educate you, LeftyMom, flvegan - and yours truly - do not....

...partake of animal flesh, so I'm sure the turducken was just a jest on her part...;-)

[slj0101]

13. They don't?

Shucks...

[deucemagnet]

14. Extra optical inch.

'nuff said. :evilgrin:

[Nicole]

15. Turducken

Only because this might be the only time I ever have a reason to type Turducken. :rofl:

[seemunkee]

16. Vegan Gift basket

I send these to my son on occasion. They can put together a basket with whatever you want
http://www.veganstore.com/gift-baskets.html

Looking at the vegan sex sites I got to admit nothing says Happy Holidays like a vegan butt plug.

[BarenakedLady]

17. Thanks for the links....

:evilgrin: Looks like I'm going to need to stock up on batteries. Especially since billyskank STOLE mine and won't give them back!...:grr:

[MrCoffee]

18. the sack shaver...definately

there's really no other option. every man should have a ball shaver. it's all about the optical inch.

[Little Wing]

19. Omaha steaks

[flvegan]

20. You can lead a man to Star Trek, but you can't make him watch.

Let's be honest...will watching them really make your jokes funny?

I'm intrigued by this "optical inch" mentioned above, though.

[LeftyMom]

22. You trying to impress somebody else with that thing?

I have no complaints.

But maybe you should give up soy. It'll shrink your dick and make you gay. WingNutDaily said it, so it must be true.

[JVS]

21. TURDUCKEN!

[Whoa_Nelly]

23. Try this site! Used it and found great gifts for my hard-to-buy-for son

ts.com

[xchrom]

24. nut shaver.

because it's polite.

[Gormy Cuss]

25. A book on hunting turducken, a ten pound bag of carrots

(to strap to his body in lieu of a hunter's orange vest) and one of those lovely scarves just because flvegan has the flair to carry it off. If you have enough $$$ left over, throw in the nut shaver --- who wouldn't love one of those?;)

[TOhioLiberal]

26. Oh hell...

...Go with the ball shaver :rofl:...although Star Trek DVD's come in a close second.

[LynneSin]

27. How about a Freeper Pajama Patrol Badge (this is not a joke)

[LeftyMom]

28. day shift kick

:kick: