Parenting is interesting, that's for sure.

[Midlodemocrat]

My eldest is a really good kid. Well behaved, once in a while I get the eyeroll/headtoss combo, but in general she's a good kid. She's kind to those less fortunate, she's an *A* student, she's on student government, she sings in the Chorus...you get the drift.

Your basic decent high school kid.

My middle child is a boy. He's *reasonably* well behaved for a teenaged boy in that he hasn't started any major fires or anything, but he does take a little too much glee in making his little sister jump when he leaps out at her. He's not such a good student. I have to ride him constantly about doing his work. Hates to do his homework, gets distracted...you get the idea.

Your basic high school freshman boy.

So, I get a call today from the high school that eldest has gotten a detention for not being in the right space at the right time yesterday. She was late to French and stopped to talk to a friend who was eating lunch and one of the administrators *caught* her. :eyes: To me, it's a big nothing, but to them, well you would have thought she opened fire in the cafeteria with the amount of phone calls and emails I got this morning.

So, I defended her completely. Told them that they were blowing this WAY out of proportion and that there were really bigger fish to fry than my child.

Now, here's the part which is funny. If it had been my son, I would have totally landed on the school's side because he's mischievous and often not where he should be. In middle school, I don't think he ever ate in the cafeteria, he always had lunch detention.

So, I think it's kind of funny. Two kids. Same parents. Totally different people. I guess that's a good thing.

And, I know people will flame me as being one of those parents who think their kid is always in the right...yada...yada...yada.

I don't care.

[AllegroRondo]

1. Every case must be decided on its own merits

so I completely agree with your handling of the situation differently for both kids.

any suggestions on how to get a 13 year old daughter to clean her room?

[AlCzervik]

2. my daughter and i did her room over in July and ever since then she's kept it

really neat much to my surprise and all on her own. Her room looks very hip, all modern and clean lines and she's told me she really, really loves it, "Best room in the house Mom". We did it for about $600.

[reyd reid reed]

10. I'd like to know, too

I swear, my boys keep their room cleaner than my daughter does.

:scared:

[underpants]

3. OH! ONE OF THOSE HUH?

Not MY BABY!!!!

Oh great that's just what we need!!!

:bounce:

I do think it is funny how good kids don't get to build up any browniepoints but if a derelict does it it is just another day. Adults seem to think that this A student's one mistep will send her cascading over the edge and she will end up on skid row or something.

Oh boy are they going to have a time once my girl gets in school. Wait until Josie spouts off the "other history" her dad told her. My wife is already scringing in expectation.

[mopinko]

4. fortunately, my 2 teens are in the reverse order.

13 yo girl, perfect kid. good grades, drama club, band.
15 yo boy, charming, lovable, funny, smart, but will not follow orders of any kind, including clean your room or sleep with the fishes.
teahers love him, even though he drives them batty. homework? there is a hole in his brain where the homework thing is supposed to be.
i would have done it the exact same way.
so lucky for him that he doesn't have to follow in the footsteps of the princess.

[Midlodemocrat]

8. I have resorted to threatening to throw the PS2 out the third floor

window to try to get him to clean his room. :rofl:

Kids are funny. So different.

[CC]

12. Don't throw it out

the window. All you need to do is lock the power cord in the trunk of your car until the room is clean. Just be sure to lock any power cord that will work with it in there too. Works really well and much less of a hassle to do than take all the game units and find a place to put them. added benefit they can see it sitting there, powerless.

[Midlodemocrat]

13. Ooh, what a good idea! Thanks.

[CC]

14. You can tell I

have been there done that. It was the computer that taught me the power cord thing though. The kid rightly thought and made the mistake of saying that there was no way I would want to lug the whole computer off somewhere to take it away from him. Light bulb moment POWER CORD. He was floored when he came home from school and his computer wouldn't turn on.:rofl: Our battle was homework, it got done pretty fast after that.

[mopinko]

16. i have done it both ways.

i did lug 2 computers to our public storage once. they stayed there for a while, too.
this kid is pretty hard. there is not much you can do to make him cry uncle. if you are lucky, you get a reaction after about a week.

[Kali]

17. ha like taking the distributor wire....

I like your thinking :evilgrin:

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

15. Heh, your son sounds like one of my friends at school

Kid has not so good grades, but everybody loves him, including teachers. He seems like the kind of person who just doesn't do thinkgs like cleaning or homework, but somehow manages to wiggle out of it all by being the personable guy he is.

[Kali]

18. future politician?

[seaglass]

5. Well, I have learned that schools do not look at the individual

student when they decide to mete out punishment - it's one size fits all - no context.

To be honest, I don't think schools necessarily like behaving in this way, I just think they get so much grief when kids aren't treated equally or aren't harshly punished that they buckle under.

[reyd reid reed]

6. Every case should be decided individually

and I really have problems with schools and their blanket policies.

Every child is different. Sure, there are similarities between my five, but they're all very different people and behave in very different ways. You can't make generalizations and I get really annoyed when the schools do.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. According to her English teacher, she was doing the teacher a favor.

You know what they say...no good deed goes unpunished. :eyes:

Next time someone up there wants her to do them a favor, in this case type a 28 page review sheet for another class, I'll tell her to tell them to stuff it.

[reyd reid reed]

9. But she won't...

if she's like #2 son, she'll smile and say, "Sure." She's just that kind of kid.

[Midlodemocrat]

11. You're dead right. Plus, she really, really likes this teacher.

*I* can't get her to put her clothes away, but this teacher gets her to give up her lunch and be late to French to type a paper. Go figure.