My boss gave me a block of wood for Xmas

[soleft]

Should I hit him with it?

I've worked for this guy since 1987.

He never really gave me anything at year end, but during the year he's always been amazingly generous and flexible in terms of time, and letting me do my own stuff when all my work was done. So I never made a big thing out of it.

Then over the last couple of years he and a few other attorneys I do work for would give me a group gift, a $50.00 barnses and noble card or something like that.

Then last year - kind of out of the blue I get $100 Amex gift card from him and his wife. I was thrilled.

So I made the mistake of having some raised expectations this year - it's always those expectations that get you in the end.

He just gave my Xmas present - and it's a plank of old wood with the words "Complaint Free Zone" painted on it - and a book marker.

My coworkers and my gf are in disbelief on my behalf - and we had some laughs over it. But they're all encouraging me to say something to him about it. I dont' know if I can do that, but i know it would be the healthiest thing to do.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

1. Hopefully it's just his idea of a joke ...

... and you'll get the real bonus next week.

Otherwise, just shit-can the thing and forget it. Once in a while, bosses can be assholes.

[soleft]

3. Unfortunately, no

You know, if it hadn't been for last year I would have been fine. Cause I just always figured, well, that's the way he was. And like I said, he really gives me a lot in other ways. He even supports me in my real "career" which is writing - and he's a major lefty so we can always talk about politics and stuff.

Part of me feels guilty, like I'm being ungrateful for what I have. And I have a lot.

But even the attorney in the office who hates his secretary gave her some nice soap. Soap is nice.

[peekaloo]

2. Do you tend to air your grievances with him?

it could be the start of his war on Festivus!

Maybe he's taking a woodworking class? :dunce:

Unless he has a very dry sense of humor that is a weird gift.

[soleft]

4. I think it's suppose to a spiritual nick nack

Maybe the wood is from something really cool, like a piece of the barn from the farm where Woodstock took place or something.

[texas1928]

5. If you question it you may hurt his feelings.

Just think of it as the thought that counts. At least he tries to do something for you. My boss, hell he has not given us three in the department the time of day in the last two months.

[soleft]

6. the thing is I don't think he put any thought into it

his wife picked the gifts. I wonder if I did something to piss her off this year?

[Connonym]

7. Circumstances change

It may be nothing to do with you at all. Perhaps there is something significant going on in his life that makes him unable to afford something more or he's distracted from being more thoughtful. I stopped sending xmas cards several years ago. I didn't make an announcement to everyone that I was stopping. I just made a personal decision that it was something that wasn't worth the effort. I've also cut back drastically on the gifts I give. Part of it was financial but part of it was the emotional toll it all took became too much.

So I guess what I'm saying is, I understand you're disappointed but is it really worth a confrontation?

[soleft]

8. No, I'm letting it go

If there was something going on in his life, believe me, I would know about it. I schedule his medical appointments for him, etc. This is just something he's not very good at. It's just that everything I've ever heard and learned about emotional health leans toward expressing your feelings and not keeping stuff in, it's all in how you express it so that the person can hear you. I know it would a mature and healthy thing to say it in a way that he knows I feel disappointed. I know from a lifetime of experience that holding things in is toxic.

I do think it's ironic that the words on the plank are "No Complaint Zone" - kind of like giving someone a book that says "How not to complain when someone gives you a book"

[Connonym]

14. Very ironic, indeed

I agree with you that holding things in can be a bad thing. In this case though I think that letting it go is the best thing. I'm glad you feel like you can.

[soleft]

15. what's your icon?

[Connonym]

16. A rendition of myself

At the Milwaukee DU meetup a few weeks ago the first thing Jimbo S said to me was "you look just like your icon"

[soleft]

17. Did you create or did you see it somewhere and say

that looks like me. Either way, very cool. Actually, cooler if you created it.

[Connonym]

18. I didn't write the programming or anything

But it was a site where you pick from a menu of face shapes, mouths, noses, etc. I just assembled the parts and this is what I got.

[Richardo]

9. Maybe it's because you call it 'Xmas'

:D

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. It's a gift. No, you can't say anything about it.

Is it more than you had ten seconds before he gave it to you? Yes, it is.

Accept it graciously, then take it home and toss it or whatever.

But no, don't say anything. He's not required to give you a gift, so questioning it is the height of rude tackiness.

[soleft]

12. One might reason that this experience in itself is a gift

An opportunity to be more tolerant and understanding and work thru my own issues.

[Whoa_Nelly]

11. Be sure to write a thank-you note

to him and his wife. Mention that you have no idea YET just where you'll hang the new shingle...

[soleft]

13. maybe in my new cubicle at my new job!