A Year in the Life: Where the Bush Administration will be in 12/07

[jmowreader]

George W. Bush: No one seems to know where he is, although Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore and the entire population of Iraq seem to be looking for him.

Dick Cheney: Trading the bare bulbs in his undisclosed location for the bright lights of Hollywood, Cheney abandons the vice-presidency for a role as "The Old Man" in Robocop 4. Says Roger Ebert, "if it was anyone else, his portrayal of a heartless, absolutely corrupt corporate executive would be seen as brilliant...but when you really are heartless and absolutely corrupt, the standards change."

Nancy Pelosi: Even though the Constitution sets the speaker of the house as third in the line of succession to the presidency, Nancy Pelosi remains speaker on the theory that the Republicans can clean up their own mess. Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid chose the least corrupt Republican in America and elevated him to the presidency.

Fred Grandy: Declared the least corrupt Republican in America and dragged, kicking and screaming, into the White House, Grandy has proven to be a surprisingly effective president. His first official act was to fly to Paris and address the National Assembly. Fluent in French (this is true--he really is), his first sentence was "He's gone; can we be friends again?"

Saddam Hussein: Released from prison, Saddam wasted no time in flying back to Baghdad and trying to get his old job back. Running a campaign in which he repudiated pretty much his entire leadership style, Saddam won election by a mere 26 million votes.

Condi Rice: Head shoe buyer for Wal-Mart.

Donald Rumsfeld: On March 1, was invited to become CEO of three companies: Henry Corporation, Martex and Shenandoah Wood Preservers. On March 2, discovered the hard way that not only are those three companies run by Democrats, they're respectively the nation's largest manufacturers of tar, feathers and rails.