My husband's family says the weirdest stuff.

[NewWaveChick1981]

:yoiks: We had to drop by the in-laws' house to deposit Christmas presents for that side of the family since MIL and FIL are leaving for hubby's sisters' houses in a couple of days. During the time we were there, I heard the following words and/or phrases:

"Raise down the window" - Translation: "Put the window down". This phrase was uttered by his aunt, who was visiting.

"Wow, that's hot heat!" - Translation: "Wow, it's hot!"

FIL asked Hubby about moving something and knew it would be heavy. FIL said, "Could you bring the hand trucks over before we leave?" Problem is, we only have one hand truck, and that is what he was referring to. For some reason, it's gotta be plural every time he says it. :yoiks: I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking (in a very smartass way), "You mean both of them?" :P I've heard him say it before, and it PISSES me off every time. His mother says it, and Hubby used to say it but has corrected himself.

"Tuck" - Translation: "Tux", which is short for "Tuxedo". The subject of Bridezilla niece's wedding came up, and FIL referred to his tux as a "tuck". The entire family says this, including Hubby, and it's entirely irritating.

His family is pretty much nuts anyway, and I don't have to be around them all the time, so I tolerate it without making a fuss. But it still irritates the piss out of me. :rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

1. I once had a garage sale

And this lady came by And asked about this old computer I had for sale.
She said "I got two applebee computers at home" then she asked how much
So I told her and she said "I got to go to the AMT right quick" (ATM)
eeeeek!
A friend once told me he heard a lady ask about IB-bufferen (Ibuprofen)

[NewWaveChick1981]

2. OMG!

:rofl: :rofl: I heard someone ask for WD-40 oil once when getting an oil change. And my sister used to work for Record Bar in the 80s, and some guy wanted to know where the "castinet tapes" were. :rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

3. oh man

It would be hilarious if these people weren't serious.
:hi: btw nwc :hug: and good morning

[NewWaveChick1981]

6. Exactly. My husband's family are all educated, some of them very well-educated.

:yoiks:

Good morning to you too, gopsux! :loveya:

[eppur_se_muova]

32. What's so funny about flamenco dancing?

It's hard to practice with castinet tapes, dammit!

[lumberingbear]

4. My sister's partner's mother has a few good ones.

She shops at WalmarK. On her lab results she has " 'lectric lights " for electrolytes. There are more but I can't think of them now.

But as for your husband's family, I'd check the carbon dioxide level in the house if I were you!!!

[NewWaveChick1981]

7. I've heard "Walmark" before, but it's been years.

:yoiks: Haven't heard "'lectric lights", though... :P

I think I'll get them a carbon monoxide detector for Christmas... :rofl:

[goddess40]

10. my relatives used to say K-Mark nt

[Chorophyll]

5. My MIL has oodles of them

She once referred to someone who was unhealthily thin as being "emancipated."

[NewWaveChick1981]

8. ROFL!

:rofl: I'll bet she things "mastication" will grow hair on your palms too....

[Chorophyll]

9. Sadly, she probably does. :) n/t

[billyskank]

11. Everybody's family is wierd

Wierd is what families do. :hi:

[Kajsa]

12. Hi Billy!

G'morning to you!

You know, there is something reassuring about
knowing you're not the only one with weird relatives.

One of mine is well known by the Stockholm PD for
her frantic 911 ( or the Swedish equivalent) calls when
she thinks there's an "emergency".
The problem is, when there is a real emergency,
they won't believe her. It's a classic case of 'the boy who
cried 'Wolf'.'

Thanks for the great, one line summary
of weird families!

:hi: :hug:

[billyskank]

13. Good morning to you too!

:hug:

:hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

33. That's true...

:hug: :hi:

[baldguy]

14. In my family, whenever we can't think of a word we say "the thing".

So, "Could you go get the thing for the thing in the thing thing", is a perfectly reasonable sentence. What's amazing is that more often than not, the recipient of such a request understands it completely.

[treestar]

20. LOL

My sister is really good at coming up with synonyms for "whatchamacallit" - she will just naturally roll out a word that seems to approximate the "thing." Say there is a funny looking toy and she will say, "Hand me that scrimbrigger," or whatever set of syllables would seem to best describe it.

[LynzM]

23. That's really funny!

:rofl: What a quirky talent!

[QMPMom]

21. Are you related to my husband? HIs mother used to say, "Go

get the thing on the thing." And her family knew what she wanted!

[libnnc]

27. We do that too. We have built in cabinets

in the living room. The man who built the house eons ago had this big hutch type cabinet built into the wall in the living room. We never know what to call it so we just say the "thing".

"Last time I saw your keys they were on the thing in the thing near the thing..." :silly:

[deadparrot]

29. My grandma does that, too.

"Go get the thing on the thing...with the...the thing."

"Yes, grandma."

:)

[NewWaveChick1981]

34. LOL....

:hi: :rofl:

[Mad_Dem_X]

15. My dad has TONS of odd sayings

My sister and I once made up a list of "Dad-isms." Here are just a couple:

"Guatamala" and "Glock-a-moray" instead of guacamole;
"Gentiles" instead of genitals (He once said, "The dog is licking his Gentiles." Sis and I almost died laughing.)

He also frequently mangles song lyrics. One of my favorites is his version of Jim Croce's "Time In A Bottle":
"If I could save time in a bottle...what a wonderful world it would be!"


:rofl: I love my crazy dad.

[Chorophyll]

18. Gentiles!

:rofl:

[Kajsa]

19. Have you seen the Cingular commercial

where the two guys butcher the lyrics
from 'Rock the Casbah' by The Clash?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOLPrdd8JvU


Your post just reminded me of it.

:hi::7

[dropkickpa]

25. While watching my brothers play Guitar Hero

My daughter has apparently decided that the Motley Crue song "Shout at the Devil" is actually "shout to the middle!".

She also went through a 2 year long phase where it was "You can't not always get what you want" by the Rolling Stones. Which is funny, because she has run around singing this song since she was about 2 thanks to Grampa loving the Stones and playing it for her all the time.

[NewWaveChick1981]

35. ...

:spray: :rofl: That's funny! :) Glad your dad's so fun!!!

[Drum]

16. While housepainting one summer,

I encountered a big nest of these:

and while I was trying to "relocate" the nest with long sticks and some spray stuff, this fellow comes strolling up on the sidewalk and observes

"Boy, you got a big mess o' those waltzes there, don't ya?"

I wasn't sure I'd heard him right, so I say

"Wha?"

and he repeats...

"Waltzes."

I didn't let on, but I thought it was so funny that I kept him talking for another few minutes just so I could hear it again a few more times.
:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

36. That's hysterical!

:rofl: I'm gonna have to remember that one...

[SPKrazy]

17. ROFL

That's a gas NWC

in laws, they are always insane aren't they?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

37. Yep, especially THESE in-laws...

:yoiks: :rofl: My MIL's certifiable...

[SPKrazy]

46. Mine Is Actually Pretty Nice

just a Bush loving neocon!

wife's uncle is certifiable!

:rofl: :rofl: :hug:

[Archae]

22. You'd love my parents.

Old German-Russian and Dutch-Danish-Swedish-Irish.

My Dad says while counting out loud, "One, two, tree..."

And my Mom says "Toc" for "Thanks" pretty often.

And you haven't LIVED until you've heard how "us Cheeseheads" "mangle da English." :-)

"Ya hey, wanna go down by da Lake and fry up some brats?" :rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

38. ...

:rofl: :hi:

[Arugula Latte]

24. My Grandma could never remember the word for "gazebo."

She called it the "gazoomba." :rofl:

[Archae]

26. Of course, I'm always mispronouncing "pistachio."

:-)

[NewWaveChick1981]

39. OMG, I've heard locals here say "jezzbo" and "GAZE bow"

for "gazebo". :rofl: I'm gonna add "gazoomba" to the list.... :P

[1gobluedem]

28. I have friends who say knickabrac

A hybrid of bric-a-brac and knicknack. But I don't think they know it.

A college roommate and her family referred to everything as 'what-do-you-call-it.' I couldn't ever follow their conversations.

[NewWaveChick1981]

40. ...

:rofl: :hi:

[Road Scholar]

30. Hi good lookin'....

I've thought about writing a book on that subject. Ever heard zink for sink? Let's write one together.:hide: :rofl: :hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

41. Hiya, sweetie!

:* :loveya: Count me in for the book! I've heard some really strange sayings, especially from relatives. :P

It's been a while, but I have indeed heard "zink".... :yoiks:

[TheCentepedeShoes]

31. Hubby and I were having a conversation

with a new acquaintance when he (the new acquaintance) described a certain situation that that happened to someone he knew. So I turn to hubby and say "You remember that guy that did that thing that time?" Neither of us could recall the details (like the guy's name or exactly what happened) but we each knew what I meant.

[NewWaveChick1981]

42. That's wild!

:rofl: :hi:

[Phillycat]

43. At a restaurant...

A lady at the next table asked for a menu - only she pronounced it "may-noo". And then she ordered fajitas - only, you guessed it, she pronounced it "fah-jie-tas" (long "i"). My best friend and I still call them "may-noos" to this day. :D

[coffeenap]

44. "There's a bathroom on the right" (there's a bad moon on the rise)

per my (truly) smart kids until ages 11 and 15.

[azmouse]

45. My mom has a friend who mangles the language too.

She says 'Starvation Army' for Salvation Army, calls a crocheted afghan an 'african',
and it's her 'Discovery' card instead of Discover Card. That's just a few.

[formerrepuke]

47. .."should I mash the button now?"...."No!..just press it down gently"..

.."Ok- I mashed it down.. now, what's the next step?"... "Well, it's probably broken now." Etc, etc. This conversation went on a while before I realized that this young lady (from Georgia, I think) was following my directions exactly.

[skygazer]

48. Well, there's a commercial at my store that drives me nuts

In which the woman refers to a digestive tract as a "digestive track."

One of my friends from childhood always used the phrase "take and.." as in "I'm going to take and do the laundry" or "I'm going to take and get something to eat." Her whole family did it - I always wanted to ask "Take what?" The best was when they'd say they were going to take and take something somewhere. :rofl:

My FIL used whichamacallit and thingamabob constantly. "Honey, where's the whichamacallit?" and his wife would tell him, "It's in the basement where you left it." Since he was always referring to something different, I don't know how she was always right about what he meant but she was.

[begin_within]

49. We were playing the card game "Pit" a few weeks ago, where

the cards are all commodities, such as wheat, corn, rye, oats, soybeans, flax, rice, etc. One of the middle-aged men kept saying "soilbeans" and every time he would say something like "You were collecting rice and I was collecting soilbeans," we would all snicker to each other, but nobody corrected him.