Mr. Writer says that I can't be too sexy in the lounge.

[Writer]

After the infamous pasty pic thread incident, the air has calmed up here in the Writer Compound. Mr. Writer and I agreed that I can post, post away, as long as the pictures are not too alluring. :P

Mr. Writer isn't a member of DU, but he does lurk now and then. In my mind a sexy picture of one's wife would make a husband proud. Not for him. He admitted to me last night that he's a very jealous man and doesn't wish to share me with anyone. Mr. Writer also doesn't want his own picture shown on DU.

I used to be a fidgety about posting my own picture, but since I have done so, have reaped heaps of enjoyment from doing so. How can I convince Mr. Writer that I have the right to be sexy, damn it! :P

[flvegan]

1. Pasty pic thread incident?

What did I miss, and how did I miss it?

[Writer]

2. Here you go:

Here's the original thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5928440

And here's the fallout of that thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=5931178

[flvegan]

8. Aha. For some reason, when you mentioned

"pasty" I thought of another type of pasty. I'm glad I was wrong (not really) as I easily would've sided with Mr. Writer.

I can see this both ways. It's like going to a bar with Mr. Writer. You're going to look ravishing, and every guy there is going to be looking you up and down. He probably doesn't want to actually see it done, though. I'm pretty jealous myself, so I can see what he's saying.

[Writer]

10. I do think he is a bit possessive...

but I do respect his wishes. He now takes pictures of me that I can post :P

[flvegan]

12. Can we, as a group, make suggestions?

I'd like to nominate "bikini"

JUST kidding (not really).

[Writer]

13. LOL

Let's wait until the summer for that one... :P

[flvegan]

20. Something a little more seasonal?

Voila! It's all about the boots...

[Writer]

25. I just posted a boots pic, actually

[flvegan]

27. Ummm...

hmmmm. I wonder if I can blow that up to poster-size...

And NO, I'm not staring. Okay, that's not true. At all.

[Writer]

29. Geesh, I really need to find a picture of my Halloween costume from a few years ago...

I was Cruella the Dominatrix Bunny. Bunny bustier with bunny tail, bunny ears, fish net hose, and a whip. :P It looked pretty darned good, from what he told me.

[flvegan]

33. I couldn't agree more.

Please find...and share.

[bicentennial_baby]

21. Are you serious?

"He now takes pictures of me that I can post "

[Writer]

24. No I'm NOT kidding!

:eyes:

[bicentennial_baby]

31. I'm sorry....

That really stinks. I'm sorry that he feels the need to have so much control over you... :hug:

[bicentennial_baby]

3. I would tell him to get therapy...

Jealousy and possessiveness doesn't do anyone any good, imho, and it's very destructive over the long term if not dealt with. Sounds like he's insecure... :shrug:

[Lochloosa]

4. The stomach pic was my favorite....

but the pasty pic is nice too....:evilgrin:

[Lochloosa]

5. Dupe

[Guava Jelly]

6. can you be really sexy in general discussion?

or through pm's :evilgrin:

[Writer]

7. Maybe not so much the former...

but most certainly the latter :evilgrin:

[Guava Jelly]

9. woo hooo!!!!

(taps foot and checks pm's ever 3 seconds) :rofl:

[flvegan]

14. *ahem*

Name your price...

[Guava Jelly]

15. free for you stud

:rofl:

[Guava Jelly]

16. that was a very texy pm!

:rofl: i am a punny guy!

[Writer]

Texy is as texy does, m'dear...

glad you liked it! :hi:

[Guava Jelly]

37. but of course i did

;)

[NewWaveChick1981]

11. You DO have the right to be sexy!!!

:D Just because he's insecure doesn't mean you have to be demure. He'll just have to trust you to know your limits----which aren't necessarily HIS limits. ;)

I speak as someone who has a very insecure husband too, and although I respect his feelings, I also respect my own. He may not like me getting attention, but that's his problem. :)

[billyskank]

17. He lurks?

Yikes! :yoiks:

By the way, I have no idea how you should convince him. All I know is you have the right to do as you damn well please. :shrug:

[ghostsofgiants]

18. It's a picture on a message board. I fail to see the problem at all.

[Writer]

19. Yes, but another man might get aroused...

oh no! :P

[RetroLounge]

22. Eh. Most Men are going to get aroused anyhow...

It's what we do...

:rofl:

RL

[ghostsofgiants]

23. Oh noes!

Perhaps you should avoid the beach as well, lord knows what's going throught he mind of anyone who sees you in a bathin suit. :P

[billyskank]

28. Um

shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted? :P

[Writer]

30. That's a good metaphor...

:blush:

[billyskank]

32. I'm sorry

I didn't want to embarrass you.

[NewWaveChick1981]

36. Imagine that...

:evilgrin: :rofl: :hi: I'm of the opinion that looking is not a crime. If you post your picture and guys just HAPPEN to get turned on by it, it's not a crime.

[leftofthedial]

26. You can do pasty

as long as it ain't nasty

[jobycom]

34. Hate to say it, but it's your relationship, you have to decide how much

to make him happy or uncomfortable in it. I wouldn't let him get away with pushing you around for no good reason, or just to flex his figurative muscles, but I wouldn't flaunt my disagreements with him just to get a rise out of a bunch of us virtual-folk.

As an untrained, pop-psychologist, I might conclude that his real problem isn't you being sexy, but the fact that you are changing from what he knew you as, and he's worried about the full implications of that. He may be worried that you are enjoying the attention or the flirting too much, and that the pictures are a symptom of that. If you were once fidgety, and now enjoy it, maybe he sees that as you changing, maybe away from him. Maybe he's more jealous of you seeking approval from others--it may weaken his feelings of security that you seek approval mainly from him.

Or he may be a controlling jerk! No idea, that's up to you to decide. Just throwing in what may be motivating him. It might not even be something he can fully understand, much less explain. Maybe figuring it out together with him will reassure him.

I'm not siding with him or saying you should do what he says, just theorizing on something I know nothing about. As usual.

[rug]

35. How did he feel about flvegan's Monster Balls thread?

[skygazer]

38. Wow. Isn't it nice to have trust?

Sorry, it's your relationship but I find it creepy when people think posting a perfectly innocent photo on a message board is somehow "sharing" their wife.