"If you need money, feel free to ask."

[Writer]

Mr. Writer's brother told him this yesterday. Now, I'm sure my BIL's heart was in the right place, but something about it made me cringe. I mean, we have investments and other things we can tap into - if it really gets that bad - following Mr. Writer's layoff, but overall we're doing quite well despite the circumstances.

I felt a little insulted, maybe. So I'll willingly subject myself to the DU Peanut Gallery for a little theorizing as to why an offer like that seems... a bit condescending? :shrug:

[wildhorses]

1. because if he really CARED he wouldn't subject you to the

humility of having to ask--he would just GIVE it to you

[SPKrazy]

2. It Seems Condescending To You

because it probably is

in the context of the situation it probably seems to him like he is saying something to help

but in the context of your reality it is as if he's looking down at you.

Also Wildhorses has a good point

why not just give it instead of saying "just ask"

:shrug:

[AlwaysQuestion]

3. Louse!

I think his statement lacks sensitivity. No, I think his statement is crassly rhetorical. I'd have obliged and simply given him a cold stare. Ask, indeed!!

If he was the kind of BIL I'd like, he'd take me aside and say something like, "You know, Writer, I think I know what you're going through right now. Happened to me three Christmases ago. I sure felt lousy; in fact, I wasn't even able to pay several of my bills. But damned if my best friend, Jack, didn't come over one night with an envelope containing 20, 100 dollar bills together with a note that said simply, "Use this as needed and pay me back when you're on sure footing again. You're tough, so I know you're going to get through this. Jack"

Well, Writers, Jack taught me a good lesson about friendship, so let me be your friend................. (hands me envelope with cash).

[jpgray]

4. But between brothers, that should be all that needs to be said

If my brother ever got into -any- kind of trouble I would let him know he could count on me to do anything for him. I wouldn't play any sort of rhetorical "ooh in what flowery phrase shall I couch this" sort of game. But everyone's different.