To the married women of DU, are you a good wife?

[Arger68]

Check out "The good wife's guide" from 1955. Do you do all of these things?

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

Your goal: To try and make sure your home is a place of peace, order, and tranquillity where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

[MrCoffee]

1. popcorn!!! i need popcorn dammit!

some little lady better fetch me some popcorn

[BarenakedLady]

3. How about a punch in the groin?

Will that do?:evilgrin:

[MrCoffee]

5. if it's done with "sincerity in your desire to please" me, then swing away!

[BarenakedLady]

10. I am totally sincere

in my desire to please you MrCoffee...:evilgrin:

[Arger68]

7. ...

:rofl:

[Cheney Killed Bambi]

29. hahaha

:rofl:

[malta blue]

2. Apparently not since I expect all those things

from him:rofl: well, not the ribbon in his hair...he would look silly.

[BarenakedLady]

4. Whoooo boy.

:rofl:

:rofl:

:rofl:

Thanks I needed a laugh...

[redqueen]

6. No, but I do no my place...

on top!

[Maestro]

26. Good one!

I that place too!

[miss_american_pie]

8. I do a couple of those things

Can I be a partially good wife? :shrug:

[flvegan]

9. Thanks! I'm bookmarking this for future reference.

I think I'll get a little bell that I'll ring from time to time to summon her when I want something.

[LeftyMom]

14. That's it!

Your ball shaver is going straight back to the store, mister!

[gr8dane_daddy]

40. Dude,

you were getting a ball shaver!

[havocmom]

25. Might wanna pick up a hard hat when you get that bell.

Maybe a hockey helmet with a full face guard and some kevlar shirts...

[Radio_Lady]

33. Oh, my goodness! You must mean business!

[havocmom]

39. LOL Respect & consideration gets same. Show a lack and look out!

Trying to be a saint of a wife made me an ex-wife with a former spouse who had the bad taste to call an grumble about the new model! When a whistle blast failed to stop the calls, I finally got the bastard on tape and told him if he called again, the tape went to the new wife.

Yeah, I mean business ;)

Life is better ever since too! :D

[DixieBlue]

11. I am the worst wife ever.

"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him."

Ha!

[Radio_Lady]

34. Doesn't Dr. Laura Schlessinger still advocate most of this stuff?

She's written several books on the subject. Highly successful publications, I've heard. Somebody's reading them!

[lukasahero]

12. You might want to check out Snopes...

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

[bluethruandthru]

13. I'm a great wife!

I don't do all those things..but I don't wear fur, I don't care for jewelry and I'm very low maintenance.

I often have to remind my husband how lucky he is! :rofl:

[redwitch]

15. How can you be a little gay?

Is that like being a little pregnant? :-)

[NewJeffCT]

18. Maybe they mean invite the occasional lesbian over

for a nice hot threesome?

[redwitch]

21. Thast's probably it!

"Don we now our gay apparell, fa la la etc. :-)

[Bum Whisperer]

30. I wouldn't object

:evilgrin:

[RetroLounge]

16. "Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him"

Well, I guess MrsRetro has that one down pat...

RL

[fudge stripe cookays]

20. .

:rofl:

Well actually...that's more interesting to other people?

:hug:

[azmouse]

17. I'm (cough, cough) perfect!

:rofl:

[NewJeffCT]

19. I think my wife is occasionally happy to see me

Other than that, I'm not sure she passes the test - especially since I'm often home before her.

[China_cat]

22. NOT . EVEN . CLOSE

[Bullwinkle925]

23. No - I'm not! But I think I might want one of my own...

where can I place my order????

[philosophie_en_rose]

24. according to this guide, my dogs are perfect wives.

except for the cleaning...

:shrug:

[havocmom]

27. Get a fluffy tailed golden retriever - They dust

:)

[bleedingheart]

28. You know....I actually did the first one today...and then it pissed me off

that he was late for the fucking dinner that I had fucking prepared...so I fucking called him and said..."where the hell are you?"
and he said..."oh..car shopping" ...and I said.."well fuck you...I made dinner and you ain't here"...and he hurried home with wine and is trying to make it up to me...

hee hee...

[Shine]

31. Oh puh-lease.

:popcorn:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

32. No. I'm a goddam jezebel.

:rofl:

[pitohui]

35. take 15 minutes to rest, ha, slackers, i take at least 15 hours to rest

i stand second to no woman in my ability to be well rested, hee tee hee

i should get the congressional medal of honor for well rested wives

[Writer]

36. If I did any of those things, Mr. Writer would leave me...

because he would think I had gone insane.

[bumblebee1]

37. Don't know

Can't do #1- both hubby and I work 2nd shift at the same place. Besides, my husband likes to relax a little bit after work before eating dinner.

Can't do #6- we have no children.

My husband removes his own shoes. He doesn't need me for that.

[gardenista]

38. Yeah, I'll get right on it!

Wow, now that it's laid out in such simple, easy-to-understand terms, I don't know what was taking me so long!

I'll be sure to print this out and hang it in my boudoir right after I finish rinsing out the doilies.