If someone asks you if you would

[HCE SuiGeneris]

like your change back -- when paying your bill in a restaurant -- should you ask them if they understand the concept of tipping? Or -- am I just egnrant? :shrug:

[buddhamama]

1. it is polite to ask, not to assume.

:)

[KitchenWitch]

2. They are being courteous

perhaps the change back is more than one wanted to tip!

[Quantess]

16. exactly.

It happens more than you might think. Say you only had $100 bill and the check total was $20. Most people would say yes, I would like my change back, please.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

20. That is

asinine. Of course you want your change. Just bring it, no need to beg or ask for the change.

[Maine-ah]

27. which is why proper waitstaff

etiquette is to just return the change, no questions. From a former restaurant manager here.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

29. Ding Ding Ding

'zactly!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

37. We always said...

"I'll be right back with your change." Then they would either say nothing or say not to worry about it.
I hate servers who ask if we want our change back. We always say yes and tip them less than we would have. We rarely pay with cash, however, so this is usually a moot point.
Duckie

[HCE SuiGeneris]

3. No.. wrong

It should be returned with whatever the change is unless otherwise specified by the patron

[HCE SuiGeneris]

5. What is not understood is that it is a

gratuity. Not a right.

[WindRavenX]

4. it's common courtesy

Although they're right to assume a tip (unless they've really sucked), it's just being extra polite :)

[HCE SuiGeneris]

8. The assumption is that there will be a tip -- I agree

what I take issue with is that far too many times you have to hunt down your server after the bill is paid to actually settle up.

[WindRavenX]

10. you mean actually *hand* her tip physically?

Don't you just leave the tip on the table? I do that all the time for east coast diner's and coffee shops.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

12. No -- to receive my change as many times

I do not have the correct tip already available.

[Common Sense Party]

11. I ate out a lot in my previous traveling job. I never had to hunt

down a server to get my change back. And this is in dining out perhaps 200 times a year. Not once did that happen.

You have an isolated incident.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

13. OK-- I'm ranting because I was given the old

stink eye because I didn't volunteer a 34% tip. :rant: It ruined my afternoon.

[Common Sense Party]

14. And it probably would ruin mine, too. But that's not a widespread

phenomenon.

Many servers are overworked, overstressed, and some are ill-treated.

Some are ill-mannered or immature.

The world ain't perfect.

[SKKY]

6. I just avoid the uncomfortable situation all together and, if paying in cash, say...

..."There's no change. Thanks."

[HCE SuiGeneris]

9. Re: my response #3

[SacredCow]

30. That's how I handle it...

Or, if they say, "I'll be right back with your change," I'll say something to the effect of, "No need- It's all yours." I've never had an awkward moment about that.

[Nickster]

7. I guess it would depend on the tone of the server when they said that.

Assuming everything was normal, then no I wouldn't be offended by them asking.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

15. My whole point is that

persons within the service industry seem to take for granted how hard others might work to allow the privilege to eat out at a restaurant. I hate the feeling that I am being judged before my meal is done. BTW... I was a chef for 15 years.

[S n o w b a l l]

17. I agree...

It's rude and putting you on the spot. You may want your 4.60 back to leave them a 20. It's stupid and inconsiderate of the server.

[AlwaysQuestion]

18. Give me my change, damn it!!

I have a thing about money. When I go to a restaurant, I want my change, no questions asked. Give me my damn change!! And no, you can't have it. Nor should you ask.

I will leave the customary tip, but first, I want my change back! I've had a lovely lunch, you've been swell with the service, and by the time I walk out that door, you'll know that this customer has played fair with you. Try in the meantime not to get under my skin.

I do the same myself. If a neighbour or a friend asks me to pick something up at the store for them and they give me, say, a twenty, and the change is two cents. I give them back the item plus the bill plus the two cents or 10 cents or whatever it may be. But I have people while kind enough to pick up an item for me will not bother to return the change if it's under a dollar or so. I find that exceedingly odd--and annoying. Do I say anything? No. But it irks me. I want my change back, damn it. It's all a matter of principle. But dems that give me my change, I bake some cookies for which I deliver out the blue within a week or so. I like to recognize people who have gone out of their way for me. However, dems that don't give me my two cents back.....well they are SOL.......they have my change after all. :)

I like to think of myself as quite reasonable--hell, I'm near purrfect (oh, I'm just kidding.....kind've........ ;rofl:). I can only recall twice when I didn't leave a tip at a restaurant--and then I did advise management what my complaints were. And trust me, you have to be pretty snarky or lazy not to get a tip from me. I'm never extravagant and tip only the usual 15 percent--which ain't bad for a Canuck. Apparently we are notorious for not tipping or tipping very litt.e I dunno, but that's what I've heard.

Yes BushDespiser (lovely handle by the way--little wonder I agree with you on this one!), no you ain't bein' egnerent!! That change is YOURS and damn, insist on getting it back, no questions asked! And that's the truth!

[HCE SuiGeneris]

19. ...

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

Thank you... I really needed to hear that. Both from you and from Engi :grouphug:

[AlwaysQuestion]

21. Yeah!!!

Well, BD,Engi and AQ are a formidable trio standing up for what is only right. Continue to stay your ground. We must prevail on this one.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

22. We are...

strong in the face of blind, unwarranted greed and rudeness. :hide: :popcorn:

[hijinx87]

23. you just politely say, "no. and thank you". n/t

[AlwaysQuestion]

24. But that was not the question

BushHater never said anything that would suggest that she HAD BEEN rude. Her question was suppositional and her question, rhetorical. She was merely suggesting that in her opinion any waitress who asks if a customer wants their change back is being ignorant. And I would give a resounding, "Yes!" I'm quite certain BH is as principled as most and would not stoop to the waiter/ress level by being rude but would, indeed, use the words, "no. and thank you".

[hijinx87]

26. no implication of impoliteness intended.

that was just my initial (and admittedly raw) reaction to the OP.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

25. I'm guessing

this is flame bait...

[hijinx87]

28. no, no, no!

I have stumbled into an awkward situation. but at least I recognize it.

I meant nothing negative whatsoever. I was just being playful/sarcastic/stupid.

sorry, guys. no hidden meanings, no flames, no nothing.

(complicated place, this lounge thingy. I usually only hang out in
GD: Politics, but I thought I would play around one night)


edit to correct unintentional smiley

[AlwaysQuestion]

31. Weelllllll, this may require a meeting, but in the meantime,

I think we can let you off the hook. C'mon guys, can we make this unanimous? I for one can always appreciate an apology. But, I'll tell you hijinx, should I ever mistakingly get under your skin, remember, you owe me one!!

[hijinx87]

33. (I suddenly sense that I am in WAAY over my head)

but, what the hell. why should this be any different? :silly:

[AlwaysQuestion]

35. Gee, communications are a bitch, no?

And here I thought I was being funny. Best check my humour meter. And no, you're not over your head--at least no more than I am (if that is any comfort).

[hijinx87]

38. sometimes I think that the internet is the worst thing . . .

to human communication since, say, the tower of babel.

[AlwaysQuestion]

40. Perhaps, but what an opportunity to................

brush up on our communication skills. What I really liked about this go around is that we each took time to followup and check out what the other person really meant. I dunno about you, but I thought it was worth the effort. You showed me for instance, that I had best hone my attempts at humour, cuz I obviously missed the mark. We can all learn. And besides, we have each been quite civilized to the other--yes, and no one of us held sway over the other. Yep, I think we've all behaved admirably. And that's how I sees it! Gawd, we're good!

[HCE SuiGeneris]

32. No worries...

I was probably guilty of initiating a flame thread. The onus is upon me. My question in the OP was very loaded. Your response is and was completely valid. Very nice to have "met" you... and please don't refrain from posting here at any time. Peace. O8)

[Ms_Dem_Meanor]

34. Well...

if they don't want the tip, then yeah I want my change back!!! :eyes:

[AlwaysQuestion]

36. Good one!!!

eom

[Ms_Dem_Meanor]

39. Think about it. Wouldn't you do the same thing?

:shrug: