Just throwing this out there hoping for some feedback

[AlwaysQuestion]

Out of necessity our "Christmas" family get-together will take place on the 11th of January. I have all my Christmas decorations up all ready where they will remain until the 12th. My relatively new daughter-in-law is Jewish and as I undertstand it, celebrates Hannekuh much like we celebrate Christmas--in a secular way.

Still, I don't want to submerse her in all this Christmas stuff without including some items connected with Hannekuh. The only item I was able to come up with is the obvious Minorah.

If there are any Jewish people on board here, I'd love to have your suggestions.

Funnily enough I have met my son's wife on four occasions when they have visited here from over 2000 miles away, but I'm convinced she finds me only mildly tolerable. I never get that same feeling with my son-in-law who I joke with whenever I telephone my daughter. My DIL and I have never exchanged a bad word much less had an argument, but I can tell you, I find her strangely aloof. She's sweet enough to e-mail me photos of my grandson but when I respond with thanks and some general chit-chat about the little guy, I get nothing back......ever! If in my e-mail I ask a question about anything at all, I never get any kind of response. So, now I never include any questions in my e-mails. I've met her mom who shows great warmth, as does her brother. Anyway, I'm going to keep trying to break the ice because I would love nothing better than to be able to embrace her as a daughter and get the same feeling back. My son loves her to pieces so I have not made any waves by broaching the subject with him. Maybe there is no solution. Maybe I should just learn to accept it. There are worse things after all. Still, I'm not ready to let it go........just yet. If you've had a similar experience with a SIL or DIL, how did you deal with it?

[WindRavenX]

1. well, my SO and I kinda celebrate the holidays just as "the holidays".

I'm not religious at all, and neither is he, and we both see the Christmas time as a time for family and relaxation and reflecting on the year and being grateful-- is there any way this might be possible?

Good luck!

[AlwaysQuestion]

3. You mean.....

without any Christmas decorations? Nah, I gotta have them cuz there will be more family there than my son and DIL. And, I'm not about to dispense with tradition for just one person, nor would I expect them to dispense with their traditions for just me. But, if it was just son and DIL coming then, yeah, I would accept your solution as a good one--and act upon it. Thanks.

[skygazer]

2. Why not ask your son?

She might feel as awkward about having her not-really-observant Judaism displayed by a not-really-observant christian family as I would in the opposite situation. I once dated a not-really-observant jewish guy and we just exchanged generic gifts with each other. His family did Hannukah while mine did Christmas and we simply had a nice time with each family, enjoying the family traditions.

As for your other issue, she may just be shy. I'd continue being welcoming and friendly and let her come around.