Help--the cats are driving me insane!

[hyphenate]

It hasn't been more than a couple of weeks, but these cats are suddenly driving me nuts. Not all of them, but the youngest (4) and the only female. Getting underfoot ALL the time for one thing. Being in another room and yowling like crazy for attention. Needing to be either on my lap or using me for a springboard to get onto the desk. Constantly fighting--they used to fight, but they had at some point made a truce--now it's all out war again. I've banned them from the kitchen because they are between my legs all the time or trying to get me to pick them up. I've almost been tripped a couple of times as it is, and believe me, if I go down, I won't be getting up too easily.

I can't work or stay at the computer for very long without them bugging me. I'm ready to kill them! (Not really, but I am getting desperate!)

They're indoor cats, so it's not likely cabin fever, but I'm getting rather piqued at them.

Anyone else having problems with their "loved ones?" Or am I the only one with whacko furkids for the holiday?

[ganeshji]

1. My momma cat bit my toe while I was asleep today.

My little cat has been following me from room to room howling at me. The outside stray cat is at my window howling. Again. They have all been acting weird the last few days.
Maybe they are plotting to take over the world or something?

[Bridget Burke]

3. Take over the world?

(Check out the 5th image down...)

www.worth1000.com/cache/contest/contestcache.asp?contest_id=7104

Also--the DVD's of the Canadian series "Twitch City" finally came out. "Planet of the Cats" is one episode's title--but it's a different vision of world conquest. "Twitch City" is a different sort of TV show.

[atomic-fly]

2. but they're so enriching...

welcome to my crazy cat life. They can be a handful at times. We have three of them
and they are all your bud when it's cold or hungry, but at 3am and they claw at shit and wake you up.
I love em, but they get kicked outside every now and then.

[hyphenate]

12. Once in a while

They hold war games on the bed, jumping about, climbing over me, hissing and spitting, and in general, raising holy hell. I'm glad I have a bed big enough to accommodate them, but when a near 25 lb. bubba cat jumps onto you, it's not exactly welcomed. (He's a Maine Coon lookalike)

[poiuytsister]

19. I can identify

When a friend asked (begged) me to take her 3rd cat off her hands I thought "no big, I have 2, what's one more?" HAH! Now it's like living in the middle of a herd. But they're so damn cute.

[radfringe]

4. you mean like this?

[hyphenate]

11. Sometimes!

It's true--if they're not rampaging, they're knocking things over and putting their faces inside cups (to drink the single drop of milk remaining). I always dread getting up in the morning after hearing some noise during the night. I know they are deliberately baiting me.

[LynneSin]

5. Perhaps it's just you driving your cats insane

Have you thought of it that way

:shrug:

[hyphenate]

10. lol!

Yes, I have. (Thought about it) And yes, you could be right. :rofl:

[DixieBlue]

6. I think my cats may be getting high off our pine

Christmas tree. They've been totally unleashed the last few weeks and I'm just about to boot them outdoors. (They're indoor kitties.)

[hyphenate]

9. I recall one of my older cats

back some years loving the tree. I don't really decorate anymore, though, and I don't have a tree. They're lucky if I open a bad of catnip, though, and I am stinking up my desk by keeping some valerian root in the bottom drawer. I don't know if you've ever smelled it, but it's got agag inspiring stench to it.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

7. It's the cooler weather.

A big cat handler I know talked about how cats -- all of them, even domestics -- come alive during the cooler months. They are able to play and create mayhem much easier than in warner months when they tend to lounge a lot. I heard this years ago and have noted it to be very true in my own household of felines.

In the past month everyone wants to play incessently (especially at 4:00am), are knocking thinks over, fighting to get out the front door -- essentially making a big pain in the ass of themselves.

[hyphenate]

8. Yep

Some of the same things here. That's interesting about the cold weather--I'll have to pay attention for awhile to see if it's true for mine. I do think I give in to them too easily. Maybe I'll learn more in the future--probably not, though. :)

[carly denise pt deux]

13. My cat completely destroyed my christmas tree

He tackled the tree, it fell, now the top portion snapped and will not go into the trunk base (it's an artificial tree)......so now I have 1/2 a decorated tree in my living room...it looks like a xmas shrub. I refuse to go buy another tree until they go on 1/2 price tuesday.

My other cat is having an obsession wiht the grass outside. She rushes the front door, runs out and eats as much as she can before I grab her up and put her back inside (they are both indoor cats)..the tree terminator cat doesnt seem to care about the grass, but she is obsessed with it.

And.....the tree terminator has been sharpening his claws on my door trim. I have brand new cabinets in the kitchen, and while sitting watching me prepare food, he puts his paws on the new cabinets, as if he is about to sharpen his claws on them. I tell him nooooooo, he sweetly looks at me and softly makes the sharpening motion minus the claws out. Cats are truly human-like sometimes.

Carly

[hyphenate]

14. Similar experiences

with one of my earlier cats led me to the realization I could never own any glass ornaments and put them on a tree. And the silver tinsel.....well, let's just say that what goes in, must come out.......tinsel is forbidden as a result.

[carly denise pt deux]

15. LOL omg

I have never even attempted to put tinsel on our tree. I cannot put lights on the tree, because for some reason he chews up the wires. learned that lesson last year.

[Maine-ah]

16. fat bastard kept jumping into new baby's crib

which hasn't been used yet. He's a dirty cat. Terrible w/ the personal hygene. So I had to fill crib w/toys. Now he keeps trying to sleep in her basinet, so when it's not in use, I have to put stuff in it to keep him out. Luckily, he's deathly afraid of the baby (you'd think she was the vacuum cleaner it's that bad)so he'll never climb in with her.

I still love him though, no matter how often I threaten to put him out.

[InvisibleTouch]

17. At least they're not 60-lb dogs!

I've still got 4 big pups rampaging through the house, plus the adults - of whom one is silent and serene, and the other is a holy terror. Though I can put them in their crates when I'm really about to lose my mind, which is a little more difficult with cats, I'll grant you. Try getting them some new toys, perhaps, to keep them occupied?

[anti-everything]

18. Our older cat

is calm (she's six), but the younger one (he's two) is a nut-case. He knocks everything over, attacks his sister, opens doors (yes, he opens doors, no room in the house is safe), steals food left unattended, drinks my beer, decides the middle of the night is a good time to run around the bedroom and jump on us, will lay on our laps nicely until his cat switch flips and we're pulling teeth and claws out of our arms and legs, and tries to get on top of anything in the house. But I wouldn't trade him, he's more entertaining than anything.

[Arugula Latte]

21. Drinks beer?!

:rofl:

[anti-everything]

22. Yeah, he likes beer. I can't leave any beer unattended or

he'll knock it over and drink it. Ridiculous.

[Jamastiene]

20. Well, there is a cat diary around here on my computer somewhere

that describes life from a cat's eyes. I'll go look for it for you. In the meantime, here is a gem of a cat story for you to read to take your mind off your cats destroying your house and making it look like mine. My cats have had the run of the place for years now. I don't always understand what they meant when they used the flick of their tail to spill my Dr Pepper or they ran across the softest parts of my stomach just to get on the back of the couch or why they insist on waiting until I go to bed to lick their ass for an hour, but I still love them. It takes patience.... No... It takes all the patience in the world to live with cats.

Enjoy:
Headache

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard mywife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"

There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.

No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling
objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.

Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter.... .and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew!


******************************************************************************
Found it:
(to give perspective on how cats think)

Subject: Dog and Cat's diaries

As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan... There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

[hyphenate]

23. lol!

Funny stories. I have pretty much been owned by cats for about 40 years. Most of the earlier instances were single animals--I was probably about 15 when the thought occurred to have more than one. Of course, my Dad was the major one to object, but the rest of us outvoted him.

Quite some time ago, I found this entry on Snopes of a real life incident that involved a cat, some cops, a plumber and yes, the kitchen sink. It's hilarious.

http://www.snopes.com/critters/disposal/catchday.htm

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

24. I, for one, welcome our feline overlords.

And yes, they are trying to take over the world.