Describe childhood impressions of Christmas to Christmas now (if you celebrated it)

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I've always liked Christmas. Not about what its based on (except for santa, of course ;) ), but for what it seems, well, seemed to be to me, for a while, anyway. Fun, everybody happy and having fun - taking a break from all the daily bs and just smiling and partying, excited, colored lights everywhere, everything shiny. Almost magical.

But it doesn't seem that way anymore. I come in contact with a variety of people throughout the day, and and most people seem in a daze. I get the occasional "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" (I'm getting "happy holidays" quite a bit, btw*), but nobody really seems enthused, or happy, or excited. So I'm thinking its not just me.

Is it just because I'm getting older, and the "magic" has worn thin from my perspective? Am I just looking back on childhood memories, remembering the excitement of childhood? Or has Christmas really become some crass retail-sponsored monster, and more a headache for many, spending money they can't afford to spend just because everybody else is doing it?

hmmm.....

anyway, assuming its a holiday you celebrated/celebrate, think back to the time you were a child, and describe what it meant to you then, how you felt, and what it is to you now?


*I got a gift card to Wal Mart, couldn't afford not to use it, and every employee I came in contact with, four I think, said "Merry Christmas" to me. It was like they made it a point to say it. The war on "happy holidays" continues...

[havocmom]

1. Used to be very tense - lots of family problems in personal life

Family feuds at Christmas are some of my earliest memories. I didn't know what all was going on, but felt the anger and resented it. There were some really sad years too, like the first couple Christmas seasons after my folks split up. Mom would get a Christmas corsage at work and always put on sparkly earrings and looked a little more 'jazzy'. She worked hard at smiling and keeping us busy/excited. We knew not to ask for much at all but we still felt it was a very special time. Lots of activities.

I remember hearing my Mom cry sometimes when she thought I was asleep.

We managed the ingredients for cookies to send to my brother in the service. We always managed to make some cookies for one or two people Mom knew were alone and even more strapped than we were. I remember getting up in the middle of the night just to look at my reflection in a glass ornament on the tree. My nose looked funny and I always felt homely after that.

But the trappings were great. Little parade was a HUGE excitement. Window shopping (in a REAL down town area) was more fun than actually going into stores. Music, the Salvation Bell Ringers... Mom always had coins for us to drop into the kettle, even if it meant no lunch for her that week. Lights. I remember how the lights pleased me.

Now? Culturally: We are WAY too jaded. Too much QUANTITY and damned little quality.

Back then, simple things were important. Now, seems like most people feel pressure to go way beyond rational. So many kids have completely unrealistic expectations. So many grown ups have so many unresolved issues which seem to make them nuts during holidays. Too much effort to be/do what we think is expected. Too much letting others define us and letting that lead us to go overboard.

Personally, Christmas is a time of peaceful reflection now. I do only what feels comfy to me. I make the goodies havocdad likes and we relax. I pretty much stay way from the social scene. People are too high strung. I do love all the trappings, music, decorations, but don't feel ANY obligation to do what I don't want to do.

Peaceful now that I step aside and let the parade pass by.

I miss my mom, though. But the lights still tickle me to no end. And, though it is not really my style, I try to put some sparkle on, hearing her voice remind me "a little sparkle now and then does a girl good".

Merry Christmas, Mom. I'm doing OK.