Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

[flvegan]

Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin layed an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel
And the Joker got away - hey!

Now THAT'S a Christmas Carol! I'm feeling festive. Feats of strength, anyone?

[Rosemary2205]

1. We three kings of orient are trying to light a rubber cigar

it was loaded and exploded
blowing us all apart.





Us little hellcats used to that at the top of our lungs in the middle of church -- not even thinking about the violence.



Merry Christmas flvegan

[Gatchaman]

2. another version

Jingle bells
shotgun shells
Santa Claus is dead
Daddy caught him kissing mom
and shot him in the head

Yes, it's a little warped, but hey, it's Christmas!

[Guava Jelly]

3. O holy night

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HgMvvJpM2Ws
:)

[Blue-Jay]

4. Lacy things, the wife is missin'

Didn't ask, her permission
I'm wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

In the store, there's a teddy
Little straps, like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say, "Whoa Man!"
"Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"

Later on, if you wanna
We can dress, like Madonna
Put on some eyeshade
And join the parade
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

Lacy things- missin'
Didn't ask- permission
Wearin' her clothes
Her silk pantyhose
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear

[flvegan]

6. You know, this is the ONE place I wasn't going to go.

I love that you did, though.

Sweet.

[Blue-Jay]

7. I couldn't help it.

Plus, that's my favorite Christmas song parody.

(those frilly underpants feel pretty good also, but you didn't hear that from me, OK?)

[Gormy Cuss]

5. John Denver's country classic

Please daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t want to see my mama cry
Please daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t want to see my mama cry
Just last year when I was only seven
Now I’m almost eight as you can see
You came home a quarter past eleven
And fell down underneath our Christmas tree
Please daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t want to see my mama cry
Please daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t want to see my mama cry
Mama smiled and looked outside the window
She told me son, you’d better go upstairs
Then you laughed and hollered merry Christmas
I turned around and saw my mama’s tears
Please daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t want to see my mama cry
Please daddy don’t get drunk this Christmas
I don’t want to see my mama cry
No, I don’t want to see my mama cry

Merry Dysfunctional Christmas.

[unsavedtrash]

8. we need a little John Prine thrown in for good measure

Christmas In Prison

It was christmas in prison
And the food was real good
We had turkey and pistols
Carved out of wood
And I dream of her always
Even when I dont dream
Her names on my tongue
And her bloods in my stream.

Wait awhile eternity
Old mother natures got nothing on me
Come to me
Run to me
Come to me, now
Were rolling
My sweetheart
Were flowing
By god!

She reminds me of a chess game
With someone I admire
Or a picnic in the rain
After a prairie fire
Her heart is as big
As this whole goddamn jail
And shes sweeter than saccharine
At a drug store sale.

The search light in the big yard
Swings round with the gun
And spotlights the snowflakes
Like the dust in the sun
Its christmas in prison
Therell be music tonight
Ill probably get homesick
I love you. goodnight.

[Telly Savalas]

9. There's a new 2nd verse which involves Joker peeing on the wall.

My four year old daughter seems to have picked it up from her classmates, but doesn't have it all down yet, so I'm afraid I can't share.

Instead of being appalled by my little girl singing this, I'm more impressed at how the canon of childhood nonsense has evolved in the last three decades. It gives me hope.