My mother in law is such a bitch!

[Not_Giving_Up]

She sent presents for the kids. She sent my husband two shirts. She sent me nothing. My husband and I didn't expect anything from her, just stuff for the kids. She made a point not to send me anything because she has decided that I am the root of all evil.

A few weeks ago, she sent her mother a x-mas card. Inside of the ard, she wrote a nasty little note blaming her mother for her grandchildren being moved a thousand miles away from her. We made the decision to move, and it had nothing to do with her mother. So, my husband mentioned it to her today on the phone, trying to explain that it was our decision to move, not her mother's. Her mom called me tonight and told me that her daughter called her today and reamed her out for telling us about the initial note. Merry Christmas!

[alarimer]

1. Relatives are such fun aren't they

I spend a lot of time with my aunt who tells me all about the feuds she is having with her sisters (one of whom is my mother). Now I could care less who is fighting with whom. Yet I get to hear all the gory details.

[Not_Giving_Up]

4. I get to hear the sibling stories too

My MIL has six siblings. Two of her sisters live here and do not get along at all. One of them feels the need to call me and complain about the other about once a week. I keep telling her I'm not getting involved, but she sees me as a sounding board.

[SPKrazy]

2. For The Most Part

my in mothers in law (bio and step) are fairly cool to me.

Although the step is not someone I'd trust any further than I could throw her!

Sorry you have such troubles!

Life is too short to have to deal with petty people!

:pals:

[Not_Giving_Up]

6. I try not to deal with the petty b.s.

Every time my MIL does something weird like this, her mother calls me to ask if we said this or that. I tell her that we didn't. I think the MIL is trying to make us regret moving by making all of the family here mad at us, but it doesn't work. It just reinforces how badly we needed to put distance between us and her.

[SPKrazy]

8. Sounds Like A Gamey Person

don't deal well with that really.

:pals:

[Not_Giving_Up]

9. She loves to stir up trouble

Anything that makes us look bad works well for her these days. It's really getting ridiculous.

[SPKrazy]

11. Run!

don't walk

sounds ridiculous!

good luck!

:pals:

[Not_Giving_Up]

12. We tried...We moved over a thousand miles away from her

Now she really hates me because she thinks that I took her grandchildren away from her just to be mean. The funny part about her theory is that I have no family where we moved to...all the relatives up here are her side of the family. I also gave up Texas non-winters to freeze my ass off in South Dakota. If I was going to move just to spite her, I would have picked a better climate!

[SPKrazy]

13. Gads No Kidding!

South Dakota Brrrrrrrrr!


:scared: :hi:

[Not_Giving_Up]

16. Yep...It's cold here to be sure

22 right now...much different from Houston weather!

[SPKrazy]

19. Yeah, 22 Is cold. It's Cold Here, But Not That cold today

Arkansas to be exact.

Houston is what, 50 or 60 now?

:thumbsup:

[AngryAmish]

28. Hey! I was in South Dakota for Christmas!!

I was in Rapid City -- what a beautiful place! I can't wait to get back.

In Rapid City there is a Culver's and a Starbucks. I'm ready to move.

[mopinko]

3. yup

hubby and i both wrote off our crazy families for good this year. i have been married twice, and both my MIL's were bat shit crazy.

[SPKrazy]

10. ROFL!

Hey Mopinko!

My MIL's aren't too bad, although one is a dyed in the wool * lover for some unknown reason (not a fundie or rich)

Other in-law family are the bat shit crazy ones.

Although the brother in law who is the craziest, is almost always the one that says what is really going on in the family and I like him!

:pals:

Happy Holidays Mopinko!

[mopinko]

27. MIL is no longer with us.

no one shed a single tear at her funeral.

happy holidays to you, too, southpaw. hope things went well for you.

[SPKrazy]

40. Awwww, No Tears

things went as um, well as they can inside a fishbowl or two.

thanks Mopinko!

:hug:

[tinfoilinfor2005]

5. Both of my mother-in-laws have passed.

I have wonderful memories of both of these kind generous ladies. I'm sad that everyone isn't so lucky.

[Not_Giving_Up]

7. Mine started out OK

Then she showed her true colors, as a manipulative control freak. Sorry that yours are gone.

[Omphaloskepsis]

14. Happy Passive Agressive Holidays..

I would do what it takes to make yourself happy. If I knew what that was I would tell you. You might need to do that one yourself. Happy Holidays. I hope things get better. I'm going to get wasted and listen to New Order. My family is beyond repair.

[Not_Giving_Up]

17. LOL

I've spent the day watching Dog Whisperer...Calm submissive!

[CC]

15. I would tell everyone

that asks the truth about why I moved , then throw in that the added benefit was being away from MIL. I used to have to listen to the family BS until finally one day I had enough and made a new rule. You want to see me and mine then be nice and don't bitch. Oh and don't offer your advice, it isn't welcome and won't be followed. You can't do that then you aren't seeing any of us. It took a bit for some but was funny how they could suddenly not complain about each other and shut their mouths about what I do. Once in a while they will try to get around it by bending hubby's ear but they get busted pretty fast. There are people on his side of the family that didn't get it and he no longer cares what they have to say and we just don't see them. Sometimes you have to be willing to let go to find any peace.

[Not_Giving_Up]

18. I do

I absolutely consider the distance to be one of the reasons why we moved...not the only one, but it was certainly a factor. She gets upset because she only talks to the kids when she calls...when don't call her. The kids don't ask to call her...if they did, we'd let them.

[CC]

20. You can only do what is best for

your kids and you. At best it sounds like staying away is better for you all. If your SO is on board just be honest and let MIL dig herself in, sounds like she will do it on her own. Beyond that all you can do is give your kids the safety of your love. The rest they will learn on their own and handle well because of what you give them. In the end it is her loss not yours or your kids. Don't let her get to you when you are in the right.

edited to add- Sounds like you are on the right path and only you can let her stir up trouble for you. Treat what she does as as an oh well there she goes again. The same ol same ol treatment does work because it is probably what she does to everyone. Took me a while to figure that out but I felt so free once I did and it took so much power away from the ones that tried to make life hell.

[crim son]

21. You must acknowledge that she has problems

and then do your best to pretend you don't know or care. My MIL has stated to everybody that I am going to hell and am the reason my family is going to hell (various reasons, #1 is that I am not a practicing Catholic). She is always sweet to my face and I am the essence of charming in her presence but we don't like one another. Oh well. I know I'm right and that's good enough for me. I hope you find yourself in the same place, or perhaps you are there. :hug:

[fortyfeetunder]

22. Sorry to hear about that.

I have been in your predicament and know the sting of being slighted like that from a MIL. :hug:

www.motherinlawstories.com

[Skittles]

23. don't bother with drama queens like that

don't give her the power to upset you - just ignore her.....or if you want, I could kick her ass for you

[sbj405]

24. Yes, she's likely a catty bitch, but why let it bother you?

That's what she wants. You're reaction is exactly what she's aiming for. It's just not worth it. Besides I'm sure if she did get you something it would suck :P

[carly denise pt deux]

25. Hi from a transplanted southerner :

Hi!
I too am transplanted from NM to ND, good grief, when it's -20 in January, who in the world would think we enjoy living in this part of the country compared to the nice, warm southwest? LOL......Distance does have its advantages; you only have to deal with all the family squabbles via mail and phone calls.

[Name removed]

26. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Rosemary2205]

29. Hey count your blessings!!

My mother in law thought I was the root of all evil too and stopped talking to her own son "because of me". It ended up destroying our marriage AND her relationship with her own son. After she died about 10 years ago we got remarried to each other and it's been pretty much sunshine and bliss this time.

Fortunately you and hubby are still on the same page! (and that's sooooo important!!)

[HEyHEY]

30. That's the spirit!

[idgiehkt]

31. I am so fed up with people who play games.

I swear to effing Gawd. I am trying really hard to keep this post about your problem and not me. But why is that these people think that they need to inflict pain on others... I don't understand it. Don't they know there is enough pain in the world? Don't they think their loved ones/friends/ acquaintances/passers-by, or whatever, have enough hurt in their hearts without orchestrating some bullshit drama like this for the specific pupose of intentionally hurting someone. I'm full up on it right now, personally. I wish you well with her, I'd probably just photocopy the listings for shrinks from the yellow pages and send them to her gift-wrapped. People suck.

[leftyladyfrommo]

32. Take some advice from an old woman. Just don't play the games.

Refuse to get sucked in.

She is not going to change. She wants to suck you into her games.

Life is too short to mess with people like that. They take up way too much energy.

You have to just not play. Ignore them. And if they refuse to be ignored - which they won't like at all - just laugh it off. Its better to just get away from them if you can. But if you can't - just laugh it off. Their games have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their own emptyness. You can't do anything about it. You can't fix it. So don't even try.

[idgiehkt]

33. I guess you mean this to the OP

but if not...I don't play. But I do have a heart, and I do get hurt sometimes. That's what I personally do...get involved, make mistakes, get hurt, cry. I generally don't retaliate with more of the same, though. If the black-hearted sociopathic gameplayers just played games with each other and left non-participants alone, we could all just sit back with our popcorn and watch them destroy each other, and the only pain would be physical, and theirs. But that ain't the way it works, unfortunatly, hence this thread and my post.

It's harder in the OP's case, though, because it's family. I don't know what the answer is there.

[leftyladyfrommo]

34. We all play sometimes - and get hurt.

But when people do this over and over it is just better to not play. Even when its a family member. You just have to learn to draw a line in the sand and then stick to your guns (how about those cliches). People who are into playing those really destructive games can do so much damage - and they will if you give them half a chance.

[idgiehkt]

35. hmmmm

You love who you love. And most people can't stop loving family, despite their behavior, and 'drawing a line in the sand and sticking to your guns' doesn't take the hurt away, in fact, anyone who has ever dealt with a loved one's addictive or other compulsive behavior can tell you that the line-drawing part of the process is excruciatingly painful, despite no longer enabling the behavior in the one thusly affected. It's not really my argument, because my family is relatively sane right now...my post was just a rant.

[Redstone]

36. I don't have that problem; my MIL is in South Africa, so she could scream at me

as much as she wanted to, and I wouldn't hear her.

Redstonbe

[Danmel]

37. My Mother In Law tops yours

She is like a 3 year old trapped in a 70 year olds body.

My mother died in February and my mother in law threw a temper tantrum because I didn't want to go out and celebrate mother's day that May. "What about MY day?" she said. My father in law accused me of being selfish and ruining her "special day" I kid you not.

She also refused to cook a Rosh Hashanah meal two days after my son had surgery, so with a miserable 6 year old, I had to do everything.

And let's not even begin to talk about gifts- the woman has bedroom in her house turned into a closet for her shoes and handbags, but boy, does she want her gifts! I really want nothing from them- that way they can't say I owe them anything.

And the worst is that she totally and completely favors her daughter's children over her sons (my husband). It isn't even as if I came into the marriage with these kids- they are her son's (and if I had, I would have expected her to at least pretend to love them just a little)

What can you do?

[SoyCat]

39. I had a MIL like that. Her birthday was just a few days off from mine and my husband's anniversary

but she insisted that we had to celebrate her birthday on our anniversary just so that we couldn't have a private anniversary like everyone else in the family.

[sandrakae]

38. Tell your husband to send those fucking shirts back.