Hypothetical question....

[MsKandice01]

If you had a friend and you found that her significant other had broken his hand from punching a wall in the middle of an argument, would you worry about their safety? Would you worry that it could possibly lead to physical abuse?

[ThomCat]

1. Oh, hell yes.

:(

That's a sign of a serious anger issue. I hope your friend is smart enough to get out of there at the first sign that he might direct that anger at her.

[skygazer]

2. Yes and yes

To hit something hard enough to break your hand is indicative of a lack of restraint and that would worry me.

[Kali]

3. age? any other "signs"? what was argument about?

I'd be concerned, but it might have been a freak thing.

[MsKandice01]

4. He's 35

He's punched walls, thrown things, turned tables over, etc., in the past...but has always thrown, punched, etc. away from her in the opposite direction. Their marriage is extremely rocky and there has been talk of separation and divorce. He was upset because he's been trying to fix their problems and she hasn't been receptive because she's so tired of the bullshit that she just wants out ASAP. He punched the wall out of frustration that he wasn't getting through to her.

[skygazer]

5. Well, that sounds like a reasonable way to get through

:sarcasm:

35 is too damn old to be acting like that, IMO. And breaking your hand on the wall is NOT going to convince anyone that you want to work on your problems. All that tells me is that he uses intimidation as a weapon, whether it's directly aimed at her or not.

Sounds like a good marriage to get out of to me.

[Kali]

7. Sounds like she needs to go ahead and get out ASAP, then.

And watch her back (and her belongings - sounds like he would be a prime suspect for serious vandalism.)

[MrCoffee]

6. Not necessarily...

you mentioned that he has a history of taking out his anger on inanimate objects, and you specified that it's never "toward her".

While it's probably not the best idea to go around punching walls and overturning tables, i don't know if i'd be overly concerned about physical violence against her. i've known guys who do that, and none of them would ever dream of hitting a woman, no matter how furious they were. these were guys who would get into a bar fight with another guy at the drop of a hat, but they wouldn't hit a woman.

[TankLV]

8. HELL YES!!!

Please get a CLUE before it's too late!

But the object of your concern will probably be mad at YOU for not "minding your own business" and "jumping to wrong conclusions"...

Prayers are with you and your friend...

[Redstone]

9. Nah. Guys do that all the time. And, better he hits the wall than her.

Redstone

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. Not based solely on his punching a wall

I've punched quite a few, though it's been years. (Amazing what anti-depressants can do for things that seem to have nothing to do with depression.)

But it's never even occurred to me to strike, slap, shove or otherwise physically assault a loved one. The thought alone is abhorrent.

[Left Is Write]

11. One of my friends had an SO about 20 years ago who punched a hole in the wall...

during an argument. He WAS abusive to her, physically and verbally, and our disagreement over him resulted in a two-year estrangement between the two of us.

He was dangerous, and I'm glad she got rid of him and married someone else.

So the short answer is yes - I would worry about her.

[qnr]

12. Another one in the "I've done that before" column. n/t