Let's tell elephant jokes

[Ellen Forradalom]

An elephants gazes upon a naked man. "Cute, but can you wash yourself with that thing?"

[qnr]

1. What takes less time to get ready for a trip, an elephant or a rooster?

A rooster, he only takes his comb.

[Whoa_Nelly]

2. How do you stop a charging elephant?

Take away its credit cards.

[Glorfindel]

10. How do you stop a stampeding elephant?

Cut its stampeder off. }(

[Deja Q]

3. Or play jump rope with it...

:yoiks:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

4. Q. Why do elephants have wrinkled trunks?

A. Because it would be too painful to iron them.

[qnr]

5. How do you catch an elephant?

You need:

1. a blank sign
   
2. a magic marker
   
3. some peanuts
   
4. a pair of tweezers
   
5. a pair of binoculars
   
6. a milk bottle
   

The steps:

• Take the magic marker, and write "Free Peanuts!" and then post the sign by the peanuts.
  
• Wait for an elephant to notice the sign, and come over to investigate.
  
• Pick up the binoculars, and look at the elephant through them, backwards.
  
• Take the tweezers, and pick up the now tiny elephant, and drop it in the milk bottle!
  

[qnr]

6. How do you get an elephant into an oak tree?

You have him sit on an acorn and wait 20 years.

[qnr]

7. How do you get an elephant out of an oak tree?

Have him sit on a leaf, and wait for Fall.

[qnr]

13. What's the difference between a pickle and an elephant?

A pickle always forgets.

[ThatsMyBarack]

8. Yo mama so fat....

....at the zoo elephants throw peanuts at her! :spray:

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily elephant...

:yoiks:

[Glorfindel]

11. How do you know there's an elephant in bed with you?

You can smell the peanuts on his breath.

[texas1928]

12. What do you do with an elephant with three balls?

[ornotna]

14. What do get when you cross an elephant with peanut butter?

An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

[WolverineDG]

15. Why was the elephant standing on the marshmallow?

So she wouldn't get her feet wet in the cocoa.

How do you know an elephant has been in your refridgerator?

Footprints in the butter.

Thank you! Thank you! I'll be here 'til Tuesday! Don't forget to tip your servers!

dg

[Ouabache]

16. How do you get six elephants in a Volkswagen ??

3 in the front.
3 in the back.

[northofdenali]

17. Why did the elephant walk up the side of the Sears Tower?

He took a wrong turn.

[radfringe]

18. Q: How do you know if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?