Ha! YOU WANT FACTS? I'LL GIVE YOU FACTS!!!!

[flvegan]

I was told that this deserves it's own thread. 'Twas a response to...oh, who cares. Should be funny...

I'm also the lead singer in an Oasis tribute band. And...yes, wait...there's more...

I coat my fried chicken in Wheaties, not Corn Flakes.

I let my cats roam outside, but I've declawed them and had their teeth removed.

Kirstie Alley is in my harem, along with Britney, Paris and that Lohan girl.

I own 4 Olive Garden franchises.

Veal is my middle name.

I won't breastfeed a child that doesn't smoke. In public.

My H2 runs on biodiesel, but I still put in 93 octane. From Exxon.

I killed the electric car.

The "Dean scream"??? Yeah, that was me. I'm a ventriloquist.

I dropped a nuke on Christmas. That's why the war on it is over.

I own the copyright on Stem Cellphones.

I pierced Janet Jackson's nipple. That whole "malfunction" was a promo for my services.

I gave peace a chance, but it disappointed me. So I say, "fuck peace anyway" eh?

Lastly, I hunt endangered whales with exploding harpoons through the website www.killawhaleforjesus.com

[RevolutionaryActs]

1. .

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[idgiehkt]

2. and that is because it is brilliant

furthermore, you have inspired the mother of all copycat threads, which I unfortunately do not have the balls to post. Sigh...the greatness that could have been. :(

[flvegan]

6. You must...FIND the balls...

to post that thread.

Oh, how sweet it is to have that in the subject line...

[idgiehkt]

9. lol

I just now got that.

:rofl:

In the subject line, no less.

[FedUpWithIt All]

3. Where do you find the time....

busy boy.

:rofl: :rofl: :hi:

[begin_within]

4. And you wrote, produced, directed and edited this:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0488953/

[flvegan]

5. Damn, I wish.

Were I Nathanial Hornblower, at least I'd be able to say, "you know, this one time, when I was hanging out with Mike D from the Beastie Boys..." That's one of those "win the Lotto" moments where you can do what you want to do.

Well, that and I'd be Adam Yauch...truly one of the most caring, wonderful and talented people that this generation will ever know. MCA is indeed...the man.

[Critters2]

7. I knew it. nt

[SeattleGirl]

8. BWAHAHAHAHA!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. And you circumcise your sons when they're 15 and Leni Riefenstahl was your lover

[billyskank]

11. He circumcises other people's sons too

without asking them.

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. I hear he does it at Olive Garden, right on the tables, during rush hour.

[idgiehkt]

13. while smoking.

;)