Denial

[Droopy]

The company that my dad used to work for locked the union out 10 months ago. He gets a little bit of pay for walking the picket line, but his unemployment money has run out. Unions ain't worth a shit now days.

I talked to my mom tonight about it and she said that they've almost gone through all of their savings. She's going to be working a lot of overtime in the New Year if something doesn't change quick. I asked her if she'd talked to him about finding another job. He can always go back to his old job if they get called back. She said she hasn't spoken to him about it.

He's basically spent the last 10 months on the couch in front of the tube thinking that he'll get called back pretty soon. I want to say something to him, but I don't think it's my place.

I'm living with them now while my house is up for sale. I got into a little financial trouble as well. They always told me that I could stay here whenever I wanted if I needed a place to stay. They've never charged me rent, but I have offered to pay rent now as soon as my house sells. My mom says we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

I hate to see them in this position. My dad is obviously in denial. Would you say something to my dad if you were in my shoes?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. That's a tough one........

It would depend on the kind of guy your dad is.....

If you two are close and can communicate well, then I'd say go for it...

But if he'd be resentful or defensive or upset......well, then, I wouldn't...

You have a lot of sensitivity going for you, and you know how to formulate your sentences......

So I guess I would say, give it a try.........

But be careful.

Good luck!

:hug:

[Droopy]

3. Thanks Peggy

We aren't particularly close and the truth is that I don't know how he would react. I pray to God that he gets that phone call to come back in the next week or so.

[MichiganVote]

2. Sounds like your Dad is depressed. Maybe he should visit his Dr.

[Droopy]

4. That may be the case

But I don't think he needs a med to lift him up. I think if he got back to work he'd be fine.

[MichiganVote]

5. Well, that will be a discussion between your Dad and his physician-if he goes

[Redstone]

6. Intervention time for him. Wake-up time for you.

He's probably clinically depressed; did anyone ever think of that? Losing a job, sitting on the couch for almost a year? Yoo-hoo! Anyone?

As for you, pay them some damn rent whether they want it or not. Even if it's only $20 a week, if that's all you can manage. The fact that you're not helping isn't helping, if you know what I mean and I bet you do.

Why should your poor mother have to bear all the burden? Jesus!

Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but there it is.

Redstone

[Droopy]

7. I can't give them the money if they won't take it

I will be able to make half of their house payment for them when my house sells and we will see about that, but for now they won't take any money. About the most I can do now is buy some groceries and help keep the place up.

I'm not very close to my father. I can't sit down and tell him, "You seem depressed. Let's talk about it." I really don't know how depressed he is or if he is at all. He spent most of his free time in front of the tube when he was working. So it's not out of the ordinary for him to spend a lot of time watching t.v.

[Redstone]

8. Buying the groceries is good. If they won't accept money from you, you could also

intercept some utility bills and pay them.

And if you can't talk to your father, talk to your mother. No, actually, don't do that, because she sounds like she's so beaten down by the whole thing that she just can't take on any more stress.

Listen to me: It doesn't MATTER if you're close to your father or not. That may actually end up working out in your favor; if you talk to him straight out like that for the first time EVER, it might shock him into listening to you.

But no more excuses for letting everything just slide. You've seen a problem in your family, so it's your responsibility to do WHATEVER you can about it, instead of making excuses.

And you KNOW that making excuses is EXACTLY what you're doing. I don't mean to sound harsh here, but think about it for a bit, and you'll KNOW it's true.

I expect to hear from you next week with some positive developments, ones that YOU made happen, OK? You'll be proud of yourself for having done that, but not NEAR as proud as I will be for you.

Redstone